Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript Brett Dupree – Lessons Learned After 75 Podcasts And Celebration!

[00:00:28.940] – Brett Dupree

Today is a special seventy-fifth episode extravaganza ganza ganza. Part of me wants to sing the Jamie Foxx song extravaganza, but unfortunately, I think I’m the only person who likes that song or one of them is one of those songs.

[00:00:46.670] – Brett Dupree

You ever had an album and you love a song. And it’s your favorite song on the album. But that’s not the big one that everyone knows. That’s mine from Jamie Foxx. His album is Extravaganza. I love that song.

[00:01:00.710] – Brett Dupree

I had one too many drinks and ended up in the embassy. Yeah. You never heard of it. The other one that is saved for someone else by Az Yet. Love that song. But anyway, this is not about songs.

[00:01:12.800] – Brett Dupree

This is about extravaganza. It’s about celebrating 75 episodes of the Joyous Expansion Podcast roughly just over two years in the making. June 2nd is, I believe when I first released my first three episodes of that disappointing hoping for 20 views per episode, ended up getting less than 20 periods and downloads and being very disappointed and then continuing and then faltering and then re-energizing at the beginning of last year. And so far, so good.

[00:01:45.710] – Brett Dupree

I mean, I’m having I’m not on one hundred and four, two hundred and seven like I plan. I still missed a couple of weeks or so but I have seventy-five and honestly only this is my fourth one of just being me talking. I think that’s pretty good. I’m going to celebrate that accomplishment. Hurray! I’m very proud of myself. I’ve gotten decently far in my podcasting and I’ve learned a lot.

[00:02:10.030] – Brett Dupree

And so this podcast is mostly celebrating and answering no questions anyone’s ever asked of me of what it’s like to have seventy-five episodes of a podcast. What I’ve learned and how I make my podcasts. I remember two years ago or just over two years ago when I decided to start a podcast.

[00:02:26.930] – Brett Dupree

Somebody put on Facebook something along the lines of wanting podcasts for their podcast network. And I thought to myself, well, I remember a long time ago, someone said that I had a nice voice and that they could hear me on the radio someday. And they you know what? I should finally start podcasts.

[00:02:45.320] – Brett Dupree

I want to interview people. And I definitely want to showcase people’s stories. Talk about empathy with the idea that because when I listen to stories, I like stories where I get to hear mostly normal people going through normal things if you will.

[00:03:01.190] – Brett Dupree

A lot of this tends from, well, Albert Menza. He is a very inspirational, motivational speaker and he has a fabulous story. But for me, that story isn’t very relatable because he grew up in Africa and had nothing and they used to pass around one piece of chicken and he only got one chicken and he used to save it for a week, which sounds disgusting. And then he made it to the United States where he had 20 dollars. And with that 20 dollars, all he had, he bought an entire bucket of chicken and underwear because he never owned underwear before.

[00:03:32.570] – Brett Dupree

And he eats so much KFC that he got sick because the thought of eating an entire bucket of chicken was just amazing to him. And then he won the world champion, public speaking of first freakin year doing it. And while that’s an inspirational story and I’m sure it’s inspirational, some people honestly, I did not find that that inspiring. I’m not going to discount that story.

[00:03:51.140] – Brett Dupree

I don’t want to discount this very it’s a great story. It’s a great speech. But for me, when I listen to and I thought about it, it wasn’t a story that made me think that I could do it. But then I was listening to this other podcast of this author. I forgot the podcast, man, but he was talking about how he was a 19-year overnight success. Basically, he’s been writing and pushing for 19 years until finally one of his books made it and then he exploded and he became an overnight success.

[00:04:19.730] – Brett Dupree

That’s his joke. That story spoke to me. It spoke to me because I’m somebody who’s been pushing now for, I think, really solid nine years at this. But I believe I started in 2008, says 12 years of wanting to be a motivational, inspirational speaker and a toastmaster for ten of them. I have not made much progress in that.

[00:04:42.440] – Brett Dupree

Honestly, I’m just not close to where I want to be. It’s still not making me money and doesn’t have a lot of clients. I don’t even know if I want to be a coach anymore. The head coaching being something people forced me to do because they really want my coaching. I rather do the speaking because I love inspiring people most of all and being part of the rah rah and helping people live their lives in a big setting more. And that’s why I’m more focusing on the Church of Awesome than that.

[00:05:06.020] – Brett Dupree

But that basically the reason why that spoke to me is that someone who got rejected or rejected and dealt with all of those issues and he was able to push through it. And so I thought, I want my podcast to be a podcast where I interview people going through normal life. They could be trying to achieve great things, which is fine. A lot of people want to achieve great things or they just want to do normal things, like just being a psychic.

[00:05:30.830] – Brett Dupree

I mean, psychic. Maybe you make like six. You do get to be six figures or. Store or just you know, I’m talking about not going out and being like a huge Tony Robbins. But someone who just wants to build a career doing something they like. And honest. I’m willing to speak to anyone who has a story of wanting to do something in their life, even if it just raises the best family. I would love to talk to a mom about what it’s like. I am sure someone needs to hear that, because my idea was if I get enough stories, the right people will listen to them and inspire them. Or if you listen to enough of my podcasts, enough of the people stories will resonate with you and help keep you going. Help keep you going on your path, whatever that is. That was the idea of my podcast. That’s what I wanted.

[00:06:19.120] – Brett Dupree

The problem was the name at first because I felt the joyous expansion podcast didn’t really convey that as well. And I still don’t I don’t think it does. It just fits with my old SEO and I couldn’t think of a better name. This is why at the beginning of all my podcasts, I started out with Welcome to my podcast because that’s because for the first, I think, five or six episodes, I did not settle on a name.

[00:06:47.560] – Brett Dupree

The thing I learned from that is really doesn’t start until you have your vision down by the same time start. I probably should talk to somebody, maybe a business consultant of some kind, or when my coaches friends to just bounce something off of. I was how I was just doing something like that. Maybe your therapist. I don’t know someone to bounce ideas about what you want to convey. And so and suggested the jury’s expansion podcast. I think that person was thinking more about marketing. But I can only almost want to push past Joyous Expansion. I mean, it’s great.

[00:07:19.990] – Brett Dupree

I love it. I love my book and everything. But I think that’s just one aspect of what I do and who I am. And I almost feel like I’m outgrowing that. So if you were thinking of starting a podcast, I would think of getting your vision down. Now I’m going to keep the Joyous Expansion podcast. At least til 100 episodes. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. I like it. So first there was a struggle. I think if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve heard me talk about the struggle at the start of the beginning, not getting the lessons I wanted.

[00:07:52.900] – Brett Dupree

I thought 60 listens at the beginning was me being low. I thought if my friends and family listen, that’s about 10 people easily. And if they each of them, the people who I did it sends it out to them. And 10 people of them would listen to it. That’s six. That’s just below. And when it turned out, I believe, was 18. If I remember, it was under 20. I went to 20 to listen and it was under 20.

[00:08:19.240] – Brett Dupree

And I was devastated. That hurt a lot. I almost quit at that point, but I decided to push through it. But it was hard as hard to find guests at first. It was very hard finding people, getting them to commit, and pushing it down. That took a lot out of me. I don’t like asking for help. I hate the part of looking for guests.

[00:08:39.950] – Brett Dupree

I’m just not really good at putting myself out there. I do not take rejection well, and then editing. At first, I felt like a drag. It felt like a huge drag because it takes so long to edit. It takes at least three minutes per one minute of audio, sometimes longer, depending on the guest of the if the guest uses a lot of Ums and Aw’s and So’s and I,I,I,I,I. And you know what I means. At first, I try to keep some of them in just to try to keep the person’s essence.

[00:09:09.560] – Brett Dupree

But one person was like, Oh man, I said this so many times, I thought, you know, I’d rather have my guests sound like the best. And that’s when I made a switch in my editing as well, was I did two things. I decided that I wanted to be a podcast where my guests sound their best and I’ll do their best possible and getting their many of those um’s and aw’s and their so’s. Those double words are parts where they’re kind of rambling because a lot of times when people are talking, they will say something and then they will say that same thing again. Because you know you know that time when. Yeah. That time when I went out to the store, you know, stuff like that, I just get really, you know, what time went.

[00:09:48.650] – Brett Dupree

So they sound like they are sure and confident. And I decide that’s what I want. For me, it’s a service that I provide. And then I made editing a game. I tried to think about how much time can I take away from the interview. Sometimes it’s up to 12 minutes of just getting rid of the um’s, ah’s, so’s, i,i,i,i,i, and you know, remember when you know you remember when you go to the store, sometimes it’s like 12 minutes. And I feel so satisfied that I eliminated that much filler. Also, get rid of breaths. I don’t know why it is only listening to me breathe. When I edited my book, which took freakin forever, I was like, I do not want to hear me breathe.

[00:10:28.550] – Brett Dupree

Yeah. What was I saying? Oh yeah. So that’s how I got the editing down is changing my mindset by it. And I use gaming, a programmable mouse. If whatever you’re doing, if you’re going to edit, use a programmable mouse. Use the left buttons. They’re great. One for the lead. Two for four is for me, silent. You just press it. And this makes does make that go faster. But switching my mindset, the editing, and then switching my mindset on the views, I decided since I am going to be a smaller podcast and I am a toastmaster. The thing that I love about Toastmasters is watching people grow, watching people step out of their comfort zone.

[00:11:07.970] – Brett Dupree

I love watching ice breakers, ice breakers, the first speech in Toastmasters, and I absolutely love watching that, especially from the people who are most afraid. There is this one person. Her name is Basia. Her icebreaker was one of my most proud moments in Toastmasters because it took like eight months to maybe a year to get her to do it. And it was just constant, just trying to build help build up her confidence. And then when she finally did it, I just that was great.

[00:11:33.990] – Brett Dupree

So I thought to myself, I could be a podcast service. People who don’t necessarily get their voices heard. The newbies. I decided that even if I become gigantic somehow in the joyous expansion podcasts or my next podcast gets one that gets five thousand ten thousand one hundred thousand views or something like that, I still would want to dedicate at least one interview a month to a newbie, to somebody new, to somebody who this is their first podcast.

[00:12:01.700] – Brett Dupree

I’ll try to get those as well because those people deserve to be heard. And I enjoy them. I enjoy learning about them. And that’s another thing that I did as well. I shifted my perspective on the interviews. I think that’s made my interviews a lot better. Shifting on, getting to know them, learning their story instead of interviewing them. And that came a lot in time. Some of the interviews early on kind of got away for me.

[00:12:25.760] – Brett Dupree

There’s one that I particularly do not like. I won’t say which one, because that’s rude. But honestly, it’s by far my least favorite interview. After that interview, I changed my email saying, I don’t want an infomercial. I don’t want an infomercial. I want your story. Oh, and who you are and work on that. And when I get someone interested in my podcasts, I send them an email. And this email has all the information that someone could ever need to try to be on my podcast because people keep on asking me questions. And I don’t want to answer questions all day and send emails because I’m draining and hard. And so I have this really long email that answers all the questions that I can honestly.

[00:13:07.160] – Brett Dupree

I can tell who’s read it and who hasn’t. By the people who are ready for the one-minute motivation that’s at the end, which is an idea. I had to see if I can promote it, you know, make those little tiny videos. I got the idea when I did explaindio, which had a little tiny video that put on Instagram, I thought maybe one of these will go viral. None of them ever have.

[00:13:25.520] – Brett Dupree

But I still like them and they’re not as successful as I’d liked. Might as well call this the not as successful as I like podcast because nothing I’ve done has been as successful as I liked. But I still like doing the minute the motivation thing. I said at the end of each episode about going back to the eight-year-old self has been a blessing and a curse.

[00:13:43.940] – Brett Dupree

So something I came up within the first episode and decided to keep ongoing. So it sounds like I had a plan. And sometimes that’s causes confusion where people are literally talking to their eight-year-old self. And I don’t want that. I have that in the email. But the ones who are still surprised and end up talking to their eight-year-old selves are the ones who I know didn’t read. But that’s fine. That’s fine. That long email.

[00:14:07.550] – Brett Dupree

So that’s is something I also recommend is having an email that spells everything out and the people who will read will read. So those are my basic idea of how going through my podcasts and getting guests to sort of way. One of the best things I did was something called podcast guests dot com. And becoming featured on the email gave me 50 prospects. And of those 50 prospects, I think at least 18 people came from that. But that gave me 18 prospects of these, you know, a bunch of people to email and then a bunch of people to do so. When it came to emailing other people are asking my friends and stuff. It just made that not become daunting because you want to get ahead in your interviews. That’s one thing I really like about the recording. I use It’s good now. At first, it kind of sucked because there’s automatic post-production and automatic post-production. Sometimes we get to the point where they start overlapping, but they finally fixed that. Finally kind of worth it. The twenty dollars a month.

[00:15:08.690] – Brett Dupree

Gets thirty dollars a month because he uses Dropbox up one drive, which annoys me how they switch to One Drive one day because I will save me ten dollars a month. So don’t use Dropbox and wonder. I was just part of my Microsoft O365 subscription. So Zencastr has been fine, especially lately at first. Also, there is a problem getting people having good audio and a lot of my early audios weren’t the best.

[00:15:33.780] – Brett Dupree

And that probably didn’t help me as well. is something I highly recommend. If you’re just ready, first starting out and you want to find guests, go in there and messaging people. People there want to be on podcasts. And so they’ll message you back. I do have a lot of spiritual friends and done seminars and stuff. So I asked a bunch of those people, try it. I like doing them in bunches so I can just feel relaxed.

[00:15:59.940] – Brett Dupree

I’m going to start my next bunch after this one and try to get it because right now I have. It’s June I half through the end of August did. And I want to get through the end of December by August because of football. And it just makes things easier that I if I don’t have to, I can slow down a little bit.

[00:16:18.420] – Brett Dupree

So I highly suggest doing that. Everything I’ve read said he should be a week behind in your podcast, meaning that this podcast that I’m putting on now that I’m doing today should have been in last week. That’s a great idea. I’m very bad at that. Mostly do the editing because would have to edit twice maybe one these Sundays when I have nothing to do, I’ll do a double edit and then get to the point where I am a week behind by the same time.

[00:16:41.580] – Brett Dupree

It does it feels fresh when I do my beginning part. But that’s not a bad idea. It’s not a bad idea. So now I want to talk about the interviews and the things I’ve learned from people. I mean, that’s the thing I like most about my podcast is interviewing people and how much better I am at it.

[00:16:56.520] – Brett Dupree

And one thing I always remember from Aventure Time, Jake, the Dog saying sucking at something is the first step to being kind of sort of good at it. But that’s very true. My early interviews are kind of stilted. I felt almost overwhelmed. And you don’t realize how thankful people are to be on your podcast. The people who show up on my podcast are thankful to be there.

[00:17:20.300] – Brett Dupree

And that’s something I always had to get through my head, especially the people who are introverts who are harder to get them to say things, as are the people who can talk. You ask him a question and they can talk ten minutes and they’re talking about their story. I don’t mind because I’m riveted. I love listening to people’s stories. And then there are people who ask him a question and the answer in under a minute. Those can be difficult and trying.

[00:17:41.640] – Brett Dupree

In fact, those are the ones that are generally around twenty-something minutes because after a while I don’t. I run out of questions to ask and towards the end I want to pivot to what they do. They could have a chance to sell themselves because I still want people to know I have a chance to talk about what they do, not just their story. That part of you know, when I first started my podcast, it took till Episode 20 something before I literally emailed it out, before I just tagged them on Facebook because most my first people were Facebook friends.

[00:18:09.570] – Brett Dupree

I was very bad at sending it to people. I was almost ashamed of it. Yeah, I was almost ashamed of my first few podcasts, but I feel better about it now. Feel better about it now.

[00:18:21.120] – Brett Dupree

Started to feel really proud of it, mostly after talking to so many amazing people. The stories that really surprised me or the ones that I never expected. Evan Safford, that was one of my favorite interviews in the sense of when I started the podcast, I thought I get it mostly coaches or something like that. But this was a guy who just was a musician. He was weird. He was out there, but he was inspiring in his own way.

[00:18:46.860] – Brett Dupree

And that was awesome. That’s all my favorite interviews its also one of the weirdest interviews I ever did. But this is a guy who is living his life and doing his best and learning, and he’s hustling.

[00:18:57.300] – Brett Dupree

And it’s awesome. It’s freaking awesome. I’m not saying my other interviews aren’t awesome. Nothing that surprised me is how many people smoke crack or did hard drugs. A lot of people who I didn’t expect having issues like that. You know, sometimes it’s helped me with my personal biases, especially when it comes to really attractive women. Sometimes I just think their lives are easy because I grew up on sitcoms honestly.

[00:19:26.610] – Brett Dupree

And so listening to these ridiculously beautiful women, talking about being sex trafficked or being drug addicts, being like almost committing suicide. And you just recognize the fact that we are all human. We all go through our trials and doesn’t really matter what you look like on the outside. We can go through things that are difficult and hard for us. That doesn’t matter as much as matters are we keep ongoing. Also on the other end, how many people are pretty practically I would call to say Disney Princess Syndrome, where they live a pretty good life, but they’re like, I want more.

[00:20:00.750] – Brett Dupree

That’s not bad either. I’m not dismissing it by calling it Disney Princess Syndrome. And just that idea of like, wow, you have a great life, but you want more. But thing is, you have a great life. But it’s not your life. It’s a life that was created for you without really your permission. And you’d rather do this instead. Listen to those people. Triumph has meant awesome. So I really appreciate everyone who’s been on my podcasts and been a guest on my podcast.

[00:20:26.460] – Brett Dupree

It’s been an honor for having each one, even the ones even the few that I’m like aren’t my favorite. I still value their time and effort. I feel really bad for one podcast that just was not good enough to go on the air, just the audio quality soccer story was great and I was really sad. But it was worse than Aleechea Pitts audio, which wasn’t the best. Or Julie Gray’s audio, which was too was also pretty bad.

[00:20:51.590] – Brett Dupree

This one was just unlistenable and he was really bad. Unfortunately, she didn’t. Re interview later, but I felt very bad because she spent her time and effort because that’s the thing about Zencastr sometimes they don’t sound the best. But when I listened to the post-production, it sounds fine. So I was hoping that every one of those times there’s been a lot of ups and downs on the joyous expansion podcast, more downs than ups.

[00:21:14.630] – Brett Dupree

In some ways when I talk about where I wanted to be in two years. But to be honest, I am very proud of what I’ve done. I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished. And I’m very happy that I’ve done it. I do not regret it one bit.

[00:21:28.070] – Brett Dupree

I learned a lot about myself. I proved to myself that I can be consistent at something, even if it’s not going the way I planned. And then when I utilized that belief in pushing myself forward in other things that I want to do and also I can see the value in like I got to interview William Hung. And that was super cool. I never thought I would do that. The guy from American Idol, that was super cool. I never thought.

[00:21:53.660] – Brett Dupree

Yeah. So I have that memory forever and that podcast forever. But, you know, even the people who aren’t William Hung talking to Amanda Webster, who I did know is such a big deal and her story was just phenomenal. I think she’s going to become big someday. And a lot of the people. I think a few will become bigish someday, elite in their niche market. And they look great because they just have great stories. And I’m just honored for each person who’s really to share themselves and be vulnerable on my podcast. It’s just something special about being vulnerable and sharing yourself.

[00:22:25.430] – Brett Dupree

And that’s what I wanted my podcast to be. And I’m proud the fact that I got at least seventy one interviews with people where I try my best in doing that and I’m getting better and better and more and more people are showing themselves and who they are and being vulnerable with me and with the audience and especially a couple of interviews coming up. Which one person was just surprised? The near-death experience person as an interview its own about their near-death experience and every other podcast.

[00:22:57.320] – Brett Dupree

They talk about her near-death experience, and that’s where all the questions were. But mine is different. I talk about how it affected her life and before and after. And because I wouldn’t know the story of it. How. What did it do for her? And so that’s something I look forward to as well.

[00:23:11.870] – Brett Dupree

But that’s the difference between the Joyous Expansion Podcast and other podcasts is I care about you. The person I’m interviewing, I want to know about your life and what got you to where you are and wanting to get there. And I know that will serve the audience.

[00:23:27.650] – Brett Dupree

Be willing to suck. Go for it. The first step to being good at something is being bad at it. That’s what it was like when I started my podcast. I wasn’t good. And then I got better and better and better as I keep ongoing. You will build those skills. Have the right mindset. Look for ways to shift your mindset when things aren’t going the way you planned. There are no failures. Only learning experiences.

[00:23:55.880] – Brett Dupree

So when you look back constantly evaluate where you are. Learn from your successes. Learn from your quote-unquote failures. And push forward. Continue to learn. Continue to grow and continue to push. Sooner or later, you will get it. But most important is the personal growth along the way and who you become because you went for it. Whatever you’re going for, I’m proud of you.

[00:24:19.820] – Brett Dupree

Thank you all who have been a part of this journey with me. I truly appreciate all my listeners. I truly appreciate all my intervieweese. Haha old thing where I used to say that instead of guests because I forgot guests for like 50 episodes or forgot that word.

[00:24:38.010] – Brett Dupree

I’m thankful and grateful and I look forward to at least doing another 25 episodes of the Joyous Expansion podcast.

Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript Samantha Ruberto – Attain Clarity, Alignment, And Confidence To Live Your Best Life

[00:00:00.150] – Brett Dupree

Hello, Samantha, and welcome to my podcast.

[00:00:03.180] – Samantha Ruberto

Hello, Brett. And thank you, I’m glad to be here.

[00:00:05.870] – Brett Dupree

How are you doing on this fun morning?

[00:00:07.950] – Samantha Ruberto

I’m good. I am having a really, beautiful day. Woke up with lots of energy. I had a killer morning routine and I just feel set up for the day to unfold in a nice way.

[00:00:20.910] – Brett Dupree

That’s so cool. So, this is in your intro that you’re a podcast or mindset coach and a travel junkie who wants a month before that.

[00:00:29.820] – Samantha Ruberto

Who was I? Before that, I was essentially the same girl. But I had different layers on top of me. So that’s what I’ll say. I’ve always been this girl who I am even more now. It’s just if I were to go back five-plus years, my life looked very, very different. I was a real her working 24/7 in a long-term relationship in the grind of the go, go, go of everyday work life on the outside.

[00:00:59.160] – Samantha Ruberto

It was very much the white picket fence. I was checking all of the boxes. As I said, long term relationships, a successful career, had all the things that go on vacation, happy to fly home. But I remember one day between my appointments, I was driving mindlessly. There was a song playing in the background and I sort of in that state of conscious subconscious when you’re kind of just like zoned out. And suddenly, this little voice within me whispered.

[00:01:25.050] – Samantha Ruberto

Life isn’t fun and lives supposed to be fun. You’re 27 years old. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? And when it hit me, brat, as I tell you all this that I was driving, it was like, whoa, what was that? And I slow down. I just. What was that? When I got to my desk at my appointment, I finished that. I remember I went back home and I really slowed things down and I listened when I did and when I gave myself the space to ask, is this how I want to live the rest of my life?

[00:01:54.840] – Samantha Ruberto

The answer was a clear no. And it was really difficult, to be honest because I was doing all of the things that you should do. I was checking off society’s boxes, but something deep down within me wasn’t really happy. Then created space in my life. I took space away from my partner. I took time off of my career. And I just said, like, what is it that you really want? And when I sat with it and meditated on it, I realized that I needed to experience more, that I needed to experience the world.

[00:02:22.640] – Samantha Ruberto

I was from Thunder Bay, a small little Canadian town on the shores of Lake Superior. Everything I had known up to that point was really a reflection of the environment that I have lived in here.

[00:02:32.160] – Samantha Ruberto

And when I thought about it, it was like the world can offer you so much and you don’t even know what’s out there. So, I think it’s time to go. Just find out for yourself. I proceeded to book a one-way ticket to Thailand. I’d never backpacked. I had never been to Asia. I had never traveled alone. And I was just like, you know what? I’m going on the adventure of my life. When the wheels of the plane took off of the tarmac, I was so scared that I started to cry.

[00:02:58.770] – Samantha Ruberto

I was sitting there on the plane, tears rolling down my face. I remember the stewardess came up like, Ma’am, are you OK? I’m like, I’m fine. It’s OK. And I was just like, holy ****. I don’t know. Sorry, Holly. I headed up. I can say that word on here, but. Oh, my gosh. What am I doing? Where am I going to even have a plan? But looking back now, it’s like that initial trip five years ago was the best decision of my life because then it proceeded one trip to the other, to the other, to the other.

[00:03:24.240] – Samantha Ruberto

And then since then, I’ve been to over 50 countries, experienced a whole lot of the world, and really just my life is completely different than it was at the time.

[00:03:32.610] – Brett Dupree

Looking back, what does it feel that you’re missing in your white picket fence life?

[00:03:37.770] – Samantha Ruberto

You know what? I really don’t think I gave myself space at that time to tune into my heart and my purpose and what really lit me up on a deep soul level. I have a very traditional upbringing. I came from a really good family. I went to graduate from high school, went away to university, came back home, got a career with successful I just one thing in front of the other. It’s like I did the next thing that you were supposed to do without even ever tuning in and giving myself the space to say, like, what does Samantha want?

[00:04:10.380] – Samantha Ruberto

What impact does she want to have on the world? What is it that she wants to experience? I was basically just taking all of the things that you should be doing and doing those things. And yet underneath it all, it’s just like I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t in alignment. I recalibrated. I would say, like, I really just stripped everything away, tuned in to what I wanted, and then recalibrated the direction that I was going.

[00:04:30.660] – Brett Dupree

You talk about checking inside these boxes and what you’re supposed to do next. I was curious about how you feel about the kind of the boxes society does trade to places.

[00:04:42.120] – Samantha Ruberto

So, this is really funny. And this is an interesting period in my life because as I mentioned, I went to over 50 countries and I would go to these places, whether it was like Colombia or Vietnam or Iceland or Australia. And I would see all these different ways that people would live in different cultures, different religions. Different foods, different clothing, different languages. And it was so fascinated with all of these different ways to exist. I realized on a deep level that no way was right or wrong.

[00:05:10.530] – Samantha Ruberto

I remember I was on the Mekong River going on a boat. I was a public boat. There is a group vessel. We’re traveling from one place to the other. Every so often as we’re going down this river in Cambodia, the boat, which is pulled over to the side and it would look like you were like in the middle of nowhere. And then a family would just jump off like they knew where they were going and then just walk through these bushes and go off.

[00:05:30.060] – Samantha Ruberto

And then you would keep going like almost like a bus stop here. My friends, I was looking more like, where the heck would these people go and where are they living? What are they doing? You look at the smile on their face and they have literally nothing compared to what we have. And they’re happy and they’re playful and they’re fun. And they’re just it really sparked this curiosity of what is important in life. So when I would come back home from these trips and see all these different ways of existing and living, and I’d look at the nine to five and I’d look at the way that I was living my life here, and I started questioning the things that I would just naturally do, my habits that I had and the routines.

[00:06:03.000] – Samantha Ruberto

And I just started asking myself, is, this is absolute. Is this what I must do? Do I have to go back in and come back home and get into the routine that I was always in? Or do I have a choice? Or if something doesn’t feel right, could I say I’m not going to do that? I don’t really want to do that. So, I don’t really want to do that and then start cultivating life on my terms.

[00:06:22.470] – Samantha Ruberto

And the more that I did that, the more I realized that life opened up and blossomed in ways that I couldn’t have even expected.

[00:06:27.760] – Brett Dupree

That’s so cool one thing that’s interesting is actually. You have this perfect life. This job. This long-term relationship. Checking the boxes. And, parents like it when their kids check the boxes. So how did your family react to you stepping out?

[00:06:42.450] – Samantha Ruberto

So I grew up a little bit of with an untraditional family. My father traveled to Cuba lots when we were growing up. My mother did travel lots, but not to the extent that I took it. So I do come from a bit of a risk. They’re open to the world. And to be honest, I am really grateful that my parents just trusted me. They really didn’t question what I was doing. And I think a part of it is because I had built up my own success with real estate when I was in real estate.

[00:07:08.880] – Samantha Ruberto

I was very successful. I was able to buy a couple of properties. I was working very hard. I was doing all the things that I was always very independent. So when I went and did this, I was just I’m going to do this. It’s not going to make sense to you, but you need to trust me. And then I went off. I mean, there were moments where weeks would go by and I might now call home because you do when you’re traveling, you’re so in the moment, like you just kind of forget to call mom and dad because you’re on the beach in Thailand having the time your life and meeting new friends and going here and experiencing that.

[00:07:34.980] – Samantha Ruberto

And you really. Days go by it, I think because you’re so inflow and so at the moment. So, like, the only problem I really had with them when they were like, are you OK? Can you check it? Like, what’s going on? Please keep us in touch if you’re gonna go on this crazy adventure across the planet. And the more that I did it with them, the one thing is, the more that I went to, the more trips I took, the more they trusted me.

[00:07:54.180] – Samantha Ruberto

And the more they realized that when I would come back, they saw this other thing sparked in me. I think secretly they were really, really proud.

[00:08:01.240] – Brett Dupree

So I’m curious what got you into wanting to become a coach?

[00:08:05.970] – Samantha Ruberto

So for me, it was a mindset thing. When I would go out and have these incredible experiences, I come back home and people would always ask me, how? How are you traveling? How are you doing this? How are you living your life this way? And at this point, for me, it just become it felt like it was easy because as I went on these experiences, I developed different mindsets, tricks, tips, tools, read interesting books, got different perspectives.

[00:08:28.140] – Samantha Ruberto

And it was really able to peel back the layers of my own limiting beliefs of my own boxes that I was putting myself in. The more I walked that path, the easier I saw that it was when I talked to friends back home in my small little town, Thunder Bay. They’d often share how they could never do it, how they wouldn’t be able to because of this, this, this, this says. And for me, I just thought from such a different angle, I was.

[00:08:50.260] – Samantha Ruberto

Yeah. About what? About, you know, why are you even setting yourself up that way? What if. Why couldn’t you? Why not. And then they would tell me the reason and it’s a yea but. What about this. I just started bringing a fresh perspective to people and little by little the conversations I was having with my friends, they began to sort of dot pause and then look at their lives a bit differently. And I just noticed for me the mindset that I had and body that I took on to go on the adventure.

[00:09:14.940] – Samantha Ruberto

I really embodied it. It was living it day by day, and people around me constantly sorted of inspired or conversations we’d have. They’d message me and say, thank you so much. I really thought about this differently. I’m going to try this or do that or go for that job or ask that person out because life is short. Why not right? It’s just I realized on a deep level because I was living that truth because I was living this way of just being unapologetically myself and showing up like that.

[00:09:41.520] – Samantha Ruberto

I was giving the people around me permission to peel back their layers and to do the same. Little by little, book by book, I just became more and more passionate with mindset, the power that we all have to create, the lives that we want and to really go after the thing. So it really came from a place of wanting to help others step into their power and realize their unlimited ability and truth and energy that would support them as long as they would take the steps and take those leap of faith towards the things that they wanted.

[00:10:12.600] – Brett Dupree

Is there anything you had to do with your mindset to be able to shift to helping others?

[00:10:17.490] – Samantha Ruberto

Oh, a lot. I mean, there are so many different things I had to do. It wasn’t an easy journey, but it was a journey and it was a journey worth walking. I had to pack so much stuff, Brett, so many different things. I had to question where do I even start? Every single day I would journal, I’d write. So write out journal. I don’t know if you’ve heard of morning pages.

[00:10:37.110] – Samantha Ruberto

So essentially, the journaling has been my biggest tool to help process over the past five years. There are three things that I really find very beneficial. One is a gratitude list. So every single morning writing out five things that I’m grateful for. And then every single evening ending it with five things I’m grateful for. So what that does for me is that with an anchor, my day in looking at life from a positive lens, instead of just waking up and letting this subconscious brain take over and going to the same mindset that I would possess before I was putting in these little tricks to help uplift and shift my perspective.

[00:11:13.500] – Samantha Ruberto

So gratitude lists are one of the most best beneficial things you can do. And they do say that gratitude is the ultimate form of receivership. If you can tap into a space of gratitude and love and just present in the moment, you can elevate your energy and then attract the things that you want. So by doing that every single day, I noticed I could shift my energy from a place of why I shouldn’t or why I can’t. To how can I do this? How can I get that? So that’s one thing.

[00:11:42.670] – Samantha Ruberto

The second thing I would do is it’s a process called morning pages. So morning pages. It’s from the book The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron. It’s a fantastic book for anybody who wants to tap into their creativity, who wants to bring playback into their life and tap into their inner joy. Essentially, what you do is every single morning you, Free-Flow, write for three pages straight, so you just brain dump whatever it is that’s on your mind in the morning.

[00:12:08.610] – Samantha Ruberto

Today, before I did it, actually before this interview, I woke up. It was a beautiful day. I’m excited for the interview. Like I just went about my day just for anything that was coming to me that came through me. I dumped it on the page. And what that does is almost like meditation. People don’t realize, but we get between 60 and 80 thousand thoughts pinging our brains every single day. Could you imagine your phone ping, ping, ping, bing, bing, bing, bing.

[00:12:32.340] – Samantha Ruberto

Eighty thousand times. So that’s what’s actually happening to our brain. But we’re not really aware of it because. Ninety-five percent of those thoughts are actually in our subconscious mind underneath the surface. And those are the old pattern that are replaying. So when you do a process like morning pages, you’re actually giving space for those subconscious thoughts to come out and to bring awareness to them on your page. Another way of doing this is through meditation. I’m a huge advocate of meditation.

[00:12:59.760] – Samantha Ruberto

Meditation has completely shifted. My perspective has completely changed my life. And I honestly believe that meditation has the capacity to change our world. What morning pages does is it creates space within your mind. It creates space within what’s going on within your soul. And when you have space within that place, you have more capacity to see things differently, to be more creative, to play and have fun, and approach life with that different lens.

[00:13:29.090] – Samantha Ruberto

And the third thing I did with journaling was clarity. Like I would write for clarity if I ever have a question, something that really, really bothered me that I just didn’t know the answer to, didn’t felt like I knew I would write on the page. What the question was, what the challenge was. And then I put the pen down. I’d connect to my higher power, my higher source. I’d ask for the universe to help me with it. And then I would pick up a different color pen and I would actually write that answer down every single time I did this process.

[00:13:58.440] – Samantha Ruberto

I would get an answer to the question or the overwhelm or the anxiety that I had that came from a certain place of the source of a higher truth that would navigate my path. Those are three things that I really did to help work on my mindset, to work through my mindset. But it’s a journey. Personal development is not like a one-shot. And you’re either through it. It is a journey. It is an everyday commitment, but it is a beautiful journey because you really do see the magic in life and how if you’re willing to be open and come to life with a place of love, her life will support you in the things that you want to create and do and dream.

[00:14:36.180] – Brett Dupree

What were the main thoughts you had to switch that you had to work through?

[00:14:42.630] – Samantha Ruberto

When I first started traveling, as I said, I was a realtor. I was busy and I identified with being busy, being important, you know like I was really busy. I had lots of clients. My phone was always ringing and I always had a million things. I was multitasking. So busy to me equaled important and. Good and successful. So that was one huge shift was letting go of the busy monster and one hack that I had as a realtor when my phone was pinging at me constantly was turning my phone on silent.

[00:15:11.730] – Samantha Ruberto

I remember that the moment that I literally looked at my phone and I’m like, I am not going to do this anymore. I am not going to be a slave to this device. And even though this is my lifeline and my way of making money in my career, I’m going to take charge of it. I remember I like, you know, just put it on silent. Put it down. And that was a huge mindset shift because then I felt like I got my time back.

[00:15:33.000] – Samantha Ruberto

I didn’t feel like I was a slave to my phone. That was a huge mindset shift. I also realized that the less busy I was, the more productive I was. I started to close more deal clients respected my time more. I was more efficient. So that was a really, really big mindset shift. Another one I had was guilt. I dealt with so much guilt when I had first initially gone traveling because my clients needed me and I had to be there.

[00:16:01.860] – Samantha Ruberto

And like I said, the phone, the 20. You’d been there available 24 hours a day. Imagine shutting it off and being like, I’m going for three months and I’m not sure how things are going to work when I come back. But I’m just going to have faith that they will. And by giving myself that time and that space to just put me first, I could fill my own cup from the inside. And it was like this overflowing joy and love that I had tapped into so that when I came back and to serve my clients, I was coming from such an overflowing, abundant place that everything fell into place.

[00:16:32.010] – Samantha Ruberto

If that makes sense, do you. Do you ever experience that? Do you. Do you know what I mean? So those are two big things dealing with guilt and dealing with the busyness of life. And the important thing is to attach that.

[00:16:43.410] – Brett Dupree

So what does it look like? Working with you?

[00:16:45.680] – Samantha Ruberto

You know, I’ve been talking about real estate a lot because that’s where a lot of my story had started. But now, like as a mindset coach, essentially, I tell all my clients I’m not here to fix you. Nobody here needs to be fixed. What I am here to do is to hold space for you and to see the love, the light, and the potential that you are. I tell people when they are, especially when they’re first looking to get a coach and they’ve never had coaching and they haven’t had stepped into that space of seeking outside support.

[00:17:16.380] – Samantha Ruberto

It is so important that you find someone who is gentle and who has discernment, who has good judgment about what it is that you’re gonna be bringing to the table. Because we’ve been judged our entire lives from society, from our parents are teachers, everything else. It’s like without even realizing there’s constantly these judgments cast. Those in turn create limiting beliefs and cause these patterns that kind of hold us back when it comes to coaching someone and bringing them into the safe container.

[00:17:44.760] – Brett Dupree

One thing that I think is super important is that there is zero judgment. I am here just to see you for your dreams, for the possibility, for everything that you want to create and help energetically hold your hand and keep you accountable to take the steps to make those things happen. My clients have completely changed their lives. And they always every single one of them always says, I thought I came to you for this. But what I really need was this whole other thing that I didn’t even realize was there.

[00:18:12.480] – Samantha Ruberto

And looking back, it’s just such a gift to be able to serve people in that capacity and help people see the lights that they truly are. You know, we were talking about before this podcast about Lightworkers and turning up your light so that you can reflect that light to the world. The world becomes a lighter and brighter place.

[00:18:30.540] – Brett Dupree

I love it.

[00:18:31.220] – Samantha Ruberto


[00:18:31.490] – Brett Dupree

What do you like about being a mindset coach?

[00:18:34.300] – Samantha Ruberto

The best thing about being a mindset coach is the ripple effect. Oh, it’s definitely the ripple effect. And, you know, even with podcasting, because, you know, with the podcast as well, it’s the fact that you can have this one conversation, this one moment with someone, whether it is a fly on the wall. Listen to our conversation right now or the person that I’m coaching one to one, they have this shift and you never know what that shift is going to create or what that shift is going to do.

[00:19:00.270] – Samantha Ruberto

And I really do believe that the details of life matter and the smile that you can give a stranger down a street or hold a door or send someone a nice message, everything has a ripple effect. And not knowing the difference that it’s actually making in the world, but knowing that it’s coming from a place of love and knowing that it is making a difference is the best part about it.

[00:19:21.950] – Brett Dupree

Do you have a podcast? Hello. Beautiful. Yes. What’s it like being a podcast host?

[00:19:29.520] – Samantha Ruberto

Being a podcast host is so fun. I know you get to connect with really cool people all around the world who are following their passions and their creativity and just really showing up in their capacity with serving the world. What do you think? How is it being a podcast host for you?

[00:19:47.700] – Brett Dupree

The thing that surprised me most about being a podcast host is the variety of stories. Talking to people like you had a pretty good upbringing, but still wanted more. Or talking to a person who was a crack addict, homeless on the street, and then became mindset. Coach, you never know how someone gets to where they are in each story is fascinating in their own right.

[00:20:07.590] – Samantha Ruberto

Totally. When the connections you can make right. And it kind of goes back to the ripple effect. But I just said it’s like you don’t know the impact that you’re having. But if you put a positive message out there, if you are putting that positive post, you change in the world. One episode at a time. One thing that people like I find when I talk to podcasters, they can somehow get caught up on numbers, you know, and they’re like, oh, you know, I wish I had more views or I wish I got more this or I wish I had more.

[00:20:32.040] – Samantha Ruberto

Whether it’s podcasting, social media, whatever the posts are. But as a coach, I look at them and I said, like, you know, how many downloads did you get this today? And the look, I mean, the same, you know, maybe twenty or thirty whatever or ten, whatever. And it’s like, do you realize that you just spoke in front of ten people and the shift that you could have had? What difference you could’ve made in those ten people’s lives?

[00:20:52.800] – Samantha Ruberto

Every little detail and listen and download and everything matters. And I mean, as long as you come from a place of love, it’s that’s all you can really ask yourself.

[00:21:03.540] – Brett Dupree

Oh, a hundred percent agree. So wonderful process. So I think fans listening and thinking, am I doing a podcast? I highly suggest it. Your own personal growth will be amazing.

[00:21:13.860] – Samantha Ruberto

And in a way, to like I will add that it’s like the personal growth of like for me, I wasn’t a tech techie person. I used it in the podcast. If an error screen popped up, popped up on my computer, I would see it internally, freak out, closed my computer, walk away for like three days, kind of creep back to my computer, open it up and hope that they hope that the error like the thing was gone and that it just sort of sorted itself out.

[00:21:35.840] – Samantha Ruberto

But podcasting has really got me to have to sit there and have to not react. And just like walk away and pretend like, you know, abandon abort the situation. I had to sit there and be like, OK, there’s an error. How do I figure this out? School of YouTube. School of Google. I can do that, you know. And little by little. One problem at a time, I had to sit there and actually be resourceful enough to figure it out.

[00:21:57.360] – Samantha Ruberto

So it’s given me a lot of confidence, too, in terms of like my capabilities of what I could be or what we could accomplish. And that’s one thing in life. It’s just because I had been a realtor for so long and identified as being a realtor, why cannot be a podcaster now just because you’ve done something your entire life? Who’s to say that I couldn’t or you couldn’t pick something else and start something from day one and just roll with it?

[00:22:20.430] – Samantha Ruberto

It’s really given a lot of confidence that anything is possible, that as long as you have your heart in it and you’ve got the commitment and the drive to do it, you can figure it out, too. Everybody has a starting point.

[00:22:30.810] – Brett Dupree

Very true. Lucky. One of my starting points was I have a tech background.

[00:22:34.970] – Samantha Ruberto

Do you? OK. So that really helps.

[00:22:37.570] – Brett Dupree

Do you have any fun success stories to share from your coaching or podcasting?

[00:22:40.920] – Samantha Ruberto

Oh my gosh. So many success stories. One of my clients I was just working with, she was a busy mom, working her nine to five, doing all of the things. And she had this little dream inside of her that she wanted to pursue coaching, but she didn’t really know what it looked like. She didn’t really know-how. She wasn’t really on the path at all. And so when I talked to her, she initially gave herself a two-year deadline to step into it, to give enough time to have enough cushion to have like enough this enough that to actually step into it after we working together.

[00:23:11.010] – Samantha Ruberto

Do you want to take a guess of how long it took her to actually step into her new path?

[00:23:16.590] – Brett Dupree

Five years.

[00:23:18.000] – Samantha Ruberto

Two months. So within two months of us working together, we started working together in January. And two months later, she quit her full-time job. She stepped away from it. She saw her value at her worth and she had the confidence to pursue her dreams. And that to me, just to take somebody, give her the space for the first time in her life, speak about her dream of pursuing coaching and going after this and holding space that she could actually say, OK, I’m going to do this in two years.

[00:23:47.090] – Samantha Ruberto

And for me to say, yes, yes, yes, you can. And then every single week work with her and question and push her a little bit and kind of help her. She just not only spoke her dream brought awareness to it, but actually took it from two years to two months. To me, that’s a success. That’s helping her step into her power. And now I see her coaching and helping other women and showing other women it’s possible that that lights me up.

[00:24:08.290] – Samantha Ruberto

That’s pretty fun to look at. To think that just because we work together, she’s literally walking the path of her higher power. I think it’s pretty cool.

[00:24:16.090] – Brett Dupree

That is pretty cool. We are coming to the end of our time together. And one thing I’d like to ask my guest is to do a one minute the motivation. You can imagine this as if you have a time machine and you’re going back to your eight-year-old self and you want to convey everything you need to live a happy, joy-filled life. But unfortunately, you’ll have a minute until your pop back into the future. Or you can think of it as taking your entire lives, message, and purpose and condensing it down to a minute. So you’re ready?

[00:24:39.940] – Samantha Ruberto

I am ready. Let’s go. You are meant for such amazing things in this lifetime. Listen to your heart tune and give yourself space to be able to play and tap into what your heart desires. Your heart will always guide you in the right direction. You just need to listen to it and have faith. Take the leap. Go after the things you want. There is a higher plan for you. There is a path that you will be walking that’s going to light the way for other people to do it.

[00:25:07.450] – Samantha Ruberto

This is not about just you. It is about walking that path and showing others that it’s possible. So shine bright. Turn up your light and put a smile on your face and go because the world is waiting for you to shine. Has it been a minute now?

[00:25:25.020] – Brett Dupree

however long it was, it was very beautiful.

[00:25:27.380] – Samantha Ruberto

Thank you.

[00:25:28.630] – Brett Dupree

Thank you, Samantha, for being on my podcast. I really enjoyed listening to your journey of somebody who seemed to have it all and fit perfectly in that societal box. But you allowed Spirit’s source or whatever you want to call it to talk to you and you listen to it and spent time and figured out what you needed to truly shine in this world. Then there’s a lot of people out there to believe that there’s more to life than what they’re living now. So to listen to someone’s story, who went through similar things, and we’re able to step out and go travel and enjoy life and then to come back and help other people do the same as even more special. So thank you so much for everything you do. And thank you so much for being on my podcast.

[00:26:08.160] – Samantha Ruberto

Thank you. Such a pleasure. Thank you for everything you’re doing. I just have to acknowledge you in the light that you are.

[00:26:14.660] – Brett Dupree

May your day be special.

[00:26:15.750] – Samantha Ruberto

You too.

Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript Heather Breedlove – How to Shine Your Bright

[00:00:00.300] – Brett Dupree

Hello, Heather, and welcome to my podcast. Good morning.

[00:00:03.790] – Heather Breedlove

Good morning. So excited to be here.

[00:00:06.570] – Brett Dupree

Can you please give the listeners a brief introduction to who you are?

[00:00:10.230] – Heather Breedlove

Absolutely. So my name is Heather Breedlove and I founded really a movement named Shine Your Bright. And a little bit about where that came from and who I am is I grew up small-town America, white picket fences, really had all of my goals and dreams set up for my life and started going. I left. It was Pelham, Georgia, left there when I was 18, landed at the University of Georgia, graduated, went on to a corporate career, really started working my checklist, the marriage, the job.

[00:00:47.040] – Heather Breedlove

And as I checked that off, I started turning around and saying, well, a couple of things happened. It was taking a lot of effort to keep it all together. And I didn’t necessarily really be present and true with who I wanted to be. I was living that checklist that we all thought we wanted. Growing up. And then second, when something didn’t happen on that checklist, how did I navigate and still be happy with life knowing it wasn’t going to be what I wanted?

[00:01:17.820] – Heather Breedlove

I can expand a little and just hop into some of that. Like, for instance, also like, for instance, marriage.

[00:01:26.280] – Heather Breedlove

Love my husband so dearly. He’s my life. Love and partner met him at 19. We got married at twenty-five. But I didn’t realize marriage could be hard. We went through a lot of ups and downs. I thought marriage was really just a mirror of the marriage. My parents had and he thought the same and clearly, they didn’t have the same marriages. So we were going through life really with two different perceptions. And until we started learning about ourselves and how to have our own marriage, it was kind of surface level.

[00:01:59.880] – Heather Breedlove

Fortunately, we doubled down on learning about ourselves. He did some major life changes. I had to learn to grow with him and we found our own way. You couple that when it turned out right after we got married. My dad was diagnosed with melanoma. We got married in June. Great wedding. He was gone by Thanksgiving and we had no idea he was even sick when we got married. So we had to navigate that and then knowing that he wouldn’t be around for most of my married life.

[00:02:30.720] – Heather Breedlove

Second, we found out kids weren’t really an option for us. So that fits very much in the happily ever after when you’re growing up. But now, today, we found a life that we love and are flourishing. Without children, that’s an adjustment. Right. And that’s a little bit of a shift to double back down on who you are and how to be happy.

[00:02:50.760] – Brett Dupree

How was it like learning that you couldn’t have kids

[00:02:54.250] – Heather Breedlove

a little about to me no, failures are not an option. I typically will just go in and manhandle the situation to make it happen. What I ended up doing is it got to the point of trying to force children in our lives was really causing a lot of internal conflict with both Tom and I. And what I was able to kind of let it go and say, OK, this is where I am.

[00:03:21.870] – Heather Breedlove

What does the universe has planned for me? I started realizing I should ask myself why I wanted children and I was sitting. We’ve got this little lake cabin, which has just been a joy to have, especially right now they’re in quarantine. But we had this little lake cabin. I was sitting out there one morning and really started asking, well, why do I want children? And I remember it like it was yesterday. I saw just some bubbles blowing across the air with a kid next door.

[00:03:52.440] – Heather Breedlove

And it was really the joy of the play and having and keeping that inner child for myself and not necessarily the raising of a child. I wanted that laugh out loud laughter in that joy of finding new experiences. And you see that. And that’s easy to see in children. And so what I was able to do then is I took that little experience and shifted it into learning about myself. And that’s how Shine Your Bright was born in that scene, that little bit of extraordinary and just an ordinary bottle of bubbles. I developed a journal about ordinary things. Finding the magic in them and being able to journal around them.

[00:04:40.030] – Brett Dupree

Were you always somebody who was in the self-inquiry?

[00:04:43.220] – Heather Breedlove

No. And I think that was a lot of my story are we and I are going to add a little about my husband here because we’ve walked this path together where I grew up with white picket fences. He wasn’t necessarily in the same environment. His was a little more volatile and what we didn’t understand is why we’re trying to keep this life together and keep climbing that corporate ladder. Why it’s so difficult. And he went and started learning about himself. That’s when it opens a whole new door.

[00:05:16.500] – Heather Breedlove

And I don’t know how much any of the listeners participate that. But when you start really getting to know yourself again or even for the first time, it can be scary. And it’s incredible just to start admitting to yourself that you’re not happy, you’re just putting on a face for everyone. So when he doubled down and started learning about himself, that opened to hold the door for me. And that’s when I probably started myself. Inquiry, too.

[00:05:42.880] – Brett Dupree

Well, that’s so cool. I’ve heard that go both ways. Go to the other person taking on that self-responsibility of looking themselves or just breaking up the marriage entirely.

[00:05:53.130] – Heather Breedlove

Well, we have this joke in our marriage that it’s actually pretty serious. We kind of joke around that. We’ve been married and divorced five times. We just keep marrying each other. I think the reason we’ve been so successful about that is that we do know that we want to grow and we want to be all that we can be and we want to touch as many lives as possible. It can be hard in that growth is really that tension that you’re blossoming out of. Some people, you get to the point where you just can’t find your way back.

[00:06:25.530] – Brett Dupree

So what’s it like growing with a partner in this situation?

[00:06:29.340] – Heather Breedlove

Oh, well, at first it was super. And I think we’re about probably seven or eight years on this path before we really started shifting. We have conversations. I also like to say we don’t say no to each other. So if he has a hope and a dream, I’d say no. Like to put it out there. Sometimes he walked away from a corporate job. He was a shareholder of super large accounting firm in the Southeast.

[00:06:54.540] – Heather Breedlove

Well, he walked away. Called me on Valentine’s Day. One day I was driving to my office and he goes, today’s the day I’m going to leave. Well, I guess for a minute, because his salary was double mine. And we’re just going to walk away from it so he can go pursue his hopes and his dreams. Well, that could be scary, because then you’ve got your mortgage, you’ve got your car payments, and you’ve got to really shift.

[00:07:18.360] – Heather Breedlove

I had to shift my life to help him go live life which now I know he was meant to live. I would say it’s certainly scary to do. And then once we take that leap, we talk our way through it. We started understanding. He’ll make a decision instantaneously. I will take 24 hours and think about it and really feel good about my decision. And once we started learning how the other would navigate, we’re just able to grow.

[00:07:46.770] – Heather Breedlove

And as we keep taking those leaps of faith and doing it together, the bond gets stronger and stronger and stronger.

[00:07:54.120] – Brett Dupree

That’s really cool. It’s I think it’s something special being able to grow with another person, having that type of relationship. So it’s always nice to hear about that.

[00:08:02.100] – Heather Breedlove

Yeah, totally.

[00:08:03.510] – Brett Dupree

And you got into self-inquiry and wanting to change your life. How was that process?

[00:08:11.280] – Heather Breedlove

So for me, I would say I didn’t even realize that I wanted to get into self-inquiry. And one of our big pivot points when it was about to just all blow open and we were at that point where we were going to leave, go start separate lives. Fortunately, Tommy went to a place in Tennessee called On-Site, and it was a living centered program where he spent seven days really learning about himself and tools to learn about yourself. It was such an experience for him, I went.

[00:08:43.920] – Heather Breedlove

All of a sudden he had this huge spark of self-growth and it left me kind of floundering in trying to figure out I mean, it yanks the rug out from under you. So I went and I remember driving up there and I was like, I could go to the beach and he would never know. I didn’t show up. But I ended up going and they had this one afternoon, they did horse therapy. It was really interesting to watch how different people interacted with their horses.

[00:09:11.970] – Heather Breedlove

Some people would get angry and yell at the horse, which the horse shuts down and there’s no forward movement there. Some people were very timid. In which case, like your horse can clearly be an alpha. What happened for me in that afternoon was somehow that horse and I connected and we were in a partnership. Tommy and I had not necessarily been on a stable partnership level really up until that point in our marriage. But what I felt was when I realized it was an equally balanced relationship, even if it was with the horse, I had this glow inside of me that just started shining and like bursting and growing.

[00:09:53.970] – Heather Breedlove

And it was happiness. But I had not felt that happiness in so long. It was almost overwhelming. That was the first time in granted I didn’t go all in and start learning about myself and really just open up. But what happened is I felt it. I knew what it was like. And I knew if I didn’t get back to that happy, there would always be a piece of me missing.

[00:10:19.600] – Brett Dupree

What got you into wanting to take this experience and actually write a book. Share it with others.

[00:10:25.510] – Heather Breedlove

As Tommy was growing, I was growing. It just came to me one day. And I was I love seeing people happy. And that goes right back to the story about the children, the joy in living your best life, not having people holding you back. The pressure of going through that checklist. What I wanted to do was tell people it’s OK to abandon your checklist. It’s OK to live your hopes and your dreams.

[00:10:52.030] – Heather Breedlove

And it doesn’t have to be all about your career and all about your marriage and all about your children. And those are pieces of it. But who are you? And it was hard for me to start learning who I was again. And that’s why I put the journal together because it takes small steps. I mean, some of us that have been closed up, you might not even know what your favorite food is at a restaurant because you haven’t thought through that.

[00:11:16.300] – Heather Breedlove

The journal and the self-help piece is really a platform to start to learn who you are again. And we call it a reintroduction to yourself. And it’s been such a great experience that we’re even doing a conference in September just for people that want to get out and start to learn about themselves again and want that little push. I have no idea where to start building your confidence.

[00:11:40.810] – Brett Dupree

When it comes to writing your book. What are some of the trials and tribulations in writing it?

[00:11:46.750] – Heather Breedlove

The consistent movement forward and stepping out of my comfort zone to just go do it? Because what you are is you’re putting yourself out there really to be judged? Or what if it’s not a success? What if its people don’t like it? I think that was my biggest thing to overcome because you just don’t know it’s being vulnerable to a whole world of people.

[00:12:10.870] – Brett Dupree

As someone who wrote a book, I know how vulnerable that can be.

[00:12:15.030] – Heather Breedlove

I was going to ask you about that because it’s a piece of your soul that you put out to the universe. But there is this commonality, right? We’re all connected in some way. And we all have our problems. We all have our fears. We all have excitement. And if we could just all support each other through that, the world is so much more meaningful than trying to compete. I remember I was sitting at dinner with a couple of my friends one night.

[00:12:38.940] – Heather Breedlove

I mean, I treasure these two women as probably my best friends in life. And one of them just broke down. And she said, How are you guys keeping your marriages together? Everybody. So they look like. Their marriages are great. Mine’s falling apart. I don’t think we’re gonna make it. And it hit me in that instance. I’m like, how sad is it that my best friend has been struggling with her marriage for years? And she hits this breaking point before she ever tells me about it.

[00:13:07.480] – Heather Breedlove

And that just goes to how many of our relationships are surface level and not talking about the real things going on in our lives.

[00:13:15.280] – Brett Dupree

Yeah, that can lead to an isolation feeling. I think one of the best parts of my own personal growth is learning that none of my pain, that none of my trauma, nothing I’ve ever experienced is special. There’s a lot of people out there who experience the same thing and learning from other people, hearing other people’s story has been very helpful for me to grow in that situation.

[00:13:36.100] – Heather Breedlove

Well, and just knowing that you’re not alone. I even say I kind of throw this out there because women can be they can be tough growing up and there can be a big jealousy component. What I’ve found, though, is so many of us are so good at different things with some of us are nurturers. Some of us go out and find new experiences. Some of us are really into beauty. And I’ve found that rather than being jealous or in being what someone is good at is I’ve surrounded myself with a circle of friends that if I want to go travel and go to a great new place, I know which friends are going to say, hey, this is what I want to do. I know if I need to be just on a couch and being taken care of, I know which friends going to call me over and make me hot cocoa and surrounding yourself and finding your inner community for that. It’s such a strong support group.

[00:14:30.700] – Brett Dupree

Tell our listeners about your book. What exactly is it about?

[00:14:35.380] – Heather Breedlove

It’s got a journal. I’ve got my story upfront. Just sharing my path, how I got to where I was, and what I shifted to do this book. And really, it’s got open white space for you to write. So on every page is an ordinary, everyday picture. And like, for instance, I’ve got a clock on one page. And then I’ve got some prompts around anticipation schedules, tick-tock. And then some questions you can think through.

[00:15:03.370] – Heather Breedlove

Like, how do you take time for yourself when this time slows down for you or if you had time, what would you do? People that have used it just taking time, flipping through, finding a page to write with, and have that in a reflection whether they start their day with. Whether they end their day with it. I’ve heard a lot about sitting in the carpool lines at school, even though that’s not happening these days. But really just that self-reflection of that book. And it’s taking ordinary and hopefully finding some extraordinary with who you are and how you relate to those images.

[00:15:37.280] – Brett Dupree

What’s been the coolest part about writing your book?

[00:15:40.540] – Heather Breedlove

The creativity and the self-expression and seeing one when the impact it makes in people’s lives and getting the emails and the text messages saying, hey, I was going through this transition in life. The one I just heard from last week was from college into a career and super intimidated by that shift and taking the shine your bright journal and working through it and giving her self a little bit of confidence each and every day and knowing who she is and really establishing those core values so that as we make choices in the future, we know which values to ask ourselves, is this in alignment with who I am and who I want to be? So I think it’s the people’s impact that’s been hands down. The coolest experience.

[00:16:26.710] – Brett Dupree

There’s something special about impacting people. So what are some of the impacts that you have received?

[00:16:34.330] – Heather Breedlove

I’ve had let’s see. We’ve had someone who had a child. She was not it was a big adjustment having the child. And she told me she was able to take the journal and it would just give her a piece of her day back to herself to kind of start to work through that process. One of the other cool things is I had a mom and daughter both with their journals, and they would do it together and sit and talk about what page they picked and what they had written on that day at dinner that night. Just some really super cool stories and sharing around that.

[00:17:10.670] – Brett Dupree

You seem to tour with your book and dor book signings. How has that been for you?

[00:17:15.670] – Heather Breedlove

You know, it’s been wonderful to meet people. One of the things that I absolutely love doing is traveling, experiencing. And it’s easy for me. We kind of a joke in our marriage. Tommy is definitely the people person and I can be quieter. But what’s this is done is really helped to me make connections and really intimate connections with people

[00:17:39.870] – Brett Dupree

Looking you over your website seems like you have your own conference, the Shine Your Bright Conference.

[00:17:43.360] – Heather Breedlove

I do. It’s been super exciting to plan to go back. I mean, I grew gosh from an early age. I’d say back when I was twenty-five, I started doing an annual trip with all the women in my family and planning it and making sure that we would do something out of the ordinary every year. One year we did parasailing. One year we, oh gosh, to Wimoweh to go to a show. What happened is since we’ve been doing those for 17 years and seeing the energy and the happiness and laughter around doing things that we wouldn’t normally do, it was such an easy shift to take it from 13 women and my family to open it up to the Shine Your Bright community. And we’re doing a retreat in September at Stone Mountain and got some great which is just outside of Atlanta. It’s a beautiful, beautiful spot on a lake with a lot of outdoor trails and whatnot. Super excited to have this conference. The people that are involved that are gonna be bringing some of their content, even topics like how do you start to get out of your comfort zone? Another big thing we talk about is when you know you need to make a change and everyone around you is saying, it’s time, it’s time, it’s time.

[00:19:03.040] – Heather Breedlove

But what I call it is living in the gray, living in that gray area where, you know, you want to make a change, but you’re not quite there and saying it’s okay to live in that space. But really, what steps can I take to make baby steps to start to get out of it rather than just a mass? This is my new life. So, yeah, we’ve got some exciting topics and just a weekend full of fun.

[00:19:26.640] – Brett Dupree

This is your first conference you’re putting on, right?

[00:19:28.510] – Heather Breedlove

It is. It is. And of course, we had to reschedule given all of the COVID transitions in life. But I think it’s just going to work out. It’s a beautiful time of the year outside of Atlanta, Georgia, where you’re starting to get into fall and you can just feel it in the air. I’m just trusting that it’s working out the best way possible.

[00:19:47.600] – Brett Dupree

It even has a laser light show

[00:19:49.800] – Heather Breedlove

It. It does. They do. It’s this huge and it’s Stone Mountain, but it’s this huge mountain that’s completely made out of stone. They do a laser light show at night which talks about Shine Your Bright. I mean, just to see the light going through. And it’s so fun. And it’s one of just those staples that you do if you’re in Atlanta.

[00:20:12.850] – Brett Dupree

So we are coming to the end of our time together. One thing I like to ask my guests, do a one minute of motivation. You can imagine this as if you have a time machine and you going back to your eight-year-old self and you want to give it everything you need to know to live a happy, joyful life. But unfortunately, you have a minute into your pop, back into the future, or you can think of it as condensing your entire life’s mission into a minute. So are you ready?

[00:20:34.620] – Heather Breedlove

Oh, let’s do it.

[00:20:35.760] – Brett Dupree

Awesome. Let’s go.

[00:20:37.000] – Heather Breedlove

Let’s go. You are a special person. You shine. You have everything you need in life to have the life that you dream of. You can take little steps. You can take big steps. Just keep going. And we’re here to support, you know, your dreams and your life are going to be everything you want. I know I don’t get to a minute, but I’ll tell you, my dog liked that because his tails wagging right now.

[00:21:00.850] – Heather Breedlove

Yes. Thank you so much. This has been incredible.

[00:21:05.410] – Brett Dupree

Thank you so much for being on my podcast. I very much enjoyed listening to your journey about how you got started trying to live a life of societal checklists. I mean, that house. I need a car. I need some children. I knew that white picket fence and recognizing the fact that maybe that just isn’t for you. And then there’s something more. And to recognize the fact of what your partner was going through into self-inquiry and stepping into that light with him and shining out and recognizing the benefit of personal development and self-growth to not only do the self-inquiry work but also to help other people shine their life and live their best lives through this just very special. So thank you so much for everything that you do for this planet. And thank you for coming on my podcast.

[00:21:53.380] – Heather Breedlove

Thank you so very much. It was an absolute pleasure to be here today.

[00:21:57.610] – Brett Dupree

May your day be special.

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