Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript

Brett Dupree:

Hello, Shannon. And welcome to my podcast. I’m excited to have you on, can you give the audience a brief introduction to who you are?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Yes. Hi, audience. I name is Shannon and I am many things. I would say I’m a creative activist. Yet I am a healer by trade and I have studied many, many different healing modalities. My passions lie in helping people unwind from old stories, whether that be in the family lineage or in their own life experience, which usually they’re related. But I do deep soul work for anyone who’s interested in going deeper into themselves in a super, super intimate way.

Brett Dupree:

So who was Shannon before she became a healer? Or were you always a healer growing up?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

I was always a healer. Yeah. I was always a healer. I was born a healer. You can’t like to extract the healer from me. I have awareness of having been a healer in many other lives.

Brett Dupree:

So how was it like growing up and feeling different?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Very, very, very, very isolating, challenging, confusing, and disturbing. It was very disturbed child.

Brett Dupree:

And were your parents supportive of who you were?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

No. They still like don’t have, I mean, my father, he really loves magic. He would like read the Hobbit and Lord of the rings and such, but he’s like magic isn’t fairy tale books. He was in his own trip and my mother was deep into her own suffering and addiction was not really present. Neither of them were very present and they definitely were super full of their own conditioning and their inner children were not necessarily free. So they didn’t obviously acknowledge the liberation in myself and who I was am.

Brett Dupree:

How does that affect you growing up?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

These are such good questions. It affected me in the sense that I grew to get really cynical. Like I guess to share when I was born, I was very much aware that I was here to help the planet. And I was, I’m a helper being, I am here to bring love and unity consciousness to the planet. And then I was like, what the F this planet is crazy. And like, I don’t know if I’m ever going to get out of it because as a child, it’s like, the parents are all, you know, if the world, while this world is just, I didn’t understand what I didn’t know. So like people say they had an awakening like I was born awake, but what I needed to awaken to was the time that we’re in. I wasn’t fully conscious when I came in of that time that we’re in as a group of people here on the planet is like a very challenging time for a lot of people because I was coming in with this awareness of what’s possible.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

And I thought, well, I’m going to come and live that right now. It’s been a process of unwinding all of the conditioning and **** I got inundated within those years from birth until pretty much until I left the house, it’s been a process of unwinding the conditioning because go out into the world and then crazy stuff still keeps happening. And I’m like, okay, this is possible. This have an honor thing. This is what I came here for. I have to get doing that. There’s more to this. I can go deeper into my story, but I’m kind of curious to hear what you might want to know about.

Brett Dupree:

I would enjoy going deeper into your story. My question was going to be along the lines of, of all the conditioning that you had. What was the hardest one to work through?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

I would say the hardest one to work. Well, this is a multifaceted question. So the hardest things to work through are the DNA conditioning. So the things that have been passed down from my ancestors and like the origins of this physical body, those have been the hardest things to work through. So that’s like an advanced perspective, cause that’s not how I would have said it when I was younger, but from doing a lot of healing work and doing a lot of like mental reprogramming belief, free program, letting old Dory doing deep, deep Shamanics soul retrieval work. I found that the things that get me into these stuck places the most are these lineage DNA patterns from being maybe beyond my parents, even awareness of their ancestors. The hardest thing to overcome has been the deep, deep-seated sufferings of my ancestors and how that is one of the most strongest patterns that wants to play out in the physical body.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

I say this because when I do the deep healing with like certain events in my family, direct family, like my relationship with my mother, my relationship with my father, those are just microcosms of like a whole dynamic that spans lifetimes intergenerationally, collectively, I guess this is where like the Star Shaman part comes in. Cause it’s, that’s just what I see. There was a point I would say, like when I didn’t see that when I didn’t see the beauty that I’m able to see now, another thing that’s been really hard to get over is like creating healthy boundaries. You know, I empathize with my magical friends because a lot of us have grown up in trauma. Something that we can do. And I’ve noticed a common thing is like people’s psychic boundaries become super expansive because they’re trying to like protect themselves in this world. And then it can become really overwhelming to feel all of that. And so then us quote, magical people can tend to shut down our higher sensitivities due to necessity. So something that’s been really hard for me is to allow myself to be sensitive and to feel, and to be super hyper aware without going into some downward spiral or getting lost in the amount of information that is being experienced as a sensitive person.

Brett Dupree:

What also comes up For me listening to you can also go the other route where you just go full on to the happy side and light without, you know, looking at the darkness. I see that a lot of that into like some spiritual people as well.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Yup. And you know, the irony is that my guidance lately has been to actually not be in the shadow and just like, let my heavenly self carry me out. But that’s because I grew up in the shadow and I wasn’t trying to pretend that it didn’t exist when people would be like, Oh, like love. And I’m like, yeah. And like really s****ty **** like the biggest **** gonna turn into great fertilizer, but it’s a lot of ****, I used to say, I do shadow work for Lightworkers as that’s what I do, but really, I don’t want people to feel like they have to focus on the shadow because that’s, as the only thing to focus on, we have to acknowledge the deep, deep suffering in order to just feel the ecstatic bliss. There is a tendency for people to want to just go up and out and leave their body and go astral, travel and conscious dreaming and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and whatever, all the different ways of super journeying.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

My vision of what the Ascension is, is actually anchoring that in the other direction. So rooting down deep into the icks of the icks, which means like that roots touching all of those places. Yes. Sensitive people are going to, especially not want to turn on their empathy radar when the world is in the state of chaos. However, when one person, and I know from experience chooses to like, feel the **** and just be as equally, okay, with that as whatever else, then that **** actually becomes their superpower. In some sense, we’re no longer affected by it when we feel it in the outer world as something that throws us off, like if we’re being thrown off by this energy that we’re feeling in the world, it’s because there’s something inside of us that is still unresolved in those places personally. So it’s not bad energy out there. It’s like, yeah, that energy inside dude and dudes, you know, we’ve all got a bit of **** in our pot, so to speak, but then acknowledging the truth is love and bliss and joy and love. And we are love. That’s a resolving place. That’s a resolving point. Love doesn’t unconditional love is not, I love the sun more than the fertilizer.

Brett Dupree:

What exactly is a star Sharman? And how did you decide to become one?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Yeah, that’s a great question. I love this. Thank you. Part of my childhood, which I know many people who are probably going to listen to this can relate to this in some sense. And maybe even you as beam me up, I am not from here, I’ve got the wrong ticket to the wrong spaceship, wrong planet, energy. That’s like very distinct relationship to being a human was like, I’m on the wrong planet. You know, not everyone’s thinking about that. Some people are just going about their day being. And I was like, I am on the wrong planet. And I know I’m not on the wrong planet now, but I was very much resistant when I had conscious awareness of the physical density is resistance to being in this body. No, it’s so intense and painful. And all the DNA is so thick. And like I have to crawl my way out of it.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

That’s a very multi-dimensional awareness perspective. I believe in many senses that my consciousness is from many places and not all of them are on planet earth and all planets and all stars are a part of the same universe. And so I am a star shaman because I’m working with other places that aren’t just earth I’m weaving in conscious awareness of myself and myself as well. The word, I mean, extraterrestrial could be used, but that’s a very triggering word for a lot of people. I call myself that because that’s what I am. And the more I allow myself to just rest into that, the more I remember, and then simultaneously the more I’m just like an ordinary human doing ordinary top would carry water, eating food, cooking, food, cleaning, praying I’m in prayer a lot

Brett Dupree:

Is prayer How you discovered star shamanism. Or did you learn from somebody?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

No, I’ve just always been in prayer as a child. I would just pray to God goddess all the time, release me from this, heal me from this, liberate me from this, take this pain away. And that was just, that’s all I thought, that’s all I knew how to do. And now I just still pray. And I pray for the world and I pray for everyone’s healing. And I pray that every action I take is in some way, impacting people in a way that awakens them to who they truly are. And that’s every day, all day long. I don’t know. I might’ve learned that from lives as a monk. That’s the other part of my path has been a path of remembering bringing conscious awareness to these places and remembering calling back pieces of myself that in some way we’re being held quote separate from my awareness, bringing that actually into conscious awareness and being with that, bringing the strength to this life from calling upon many.

Brett Dupree:

So then they got to me curious as you grew up in kind of not a spiritual household of the way you do spirituality. And I know there’s a lot of people out there whose grew up the same way, but a lot of those people also kind of stay with that and stay in this kind of dull their light and stay in the cycles of that family trauma. What made you want to break out and how did you make that decision?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Bless you, sir. Thank you. I was very sensitive and my lineage is actually, I’m telling a little bit of a story to answer this question. My lineage is a magical folk, magical people, but in the recent years, my mother and her grand and her mother and grandmother, like for several generations back, there was this mental confinement that was being passed down from generation to generation where the women, instead of allowing their juicy, feminine, magical expression to be outwardly express, they sort of imploded and became very ill mentally and emotionally and spiritually. My mother was very, very, very, very cruel, cruel cruelty, very cruel. That was the quality. You know, her mother was cool with her, et cetera, et cetera, because there’s just this desire to stifle the light of the child. So every time I would dance or sing or express a lot of the time, not every time I would be totally be belittled and like torn down and made to feel I was a piece of poop.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

So therefore like magic went super dormant in me because every time I expressed my magic, not every time, a lot of the times I’ll correct myself. A lot of the time it would be stifled the fire. The candle would be put out because it would be too much for them to be with. And I know that happens for a lot of people. For me. I actually smoked cannabis for the first time when I was like 14 and all of this trauma started lifting off of me and I was noticing this healing power of this medicine and was just, wow, this is so fascinating. I’ve never heard of this before. And here I am now doing this thing. And I’m experiencing this clarity in this perspective on my life that I have not been able to access in my trauma state. So it helped me sort of separate from my trauma enough to have some clear perspective on things.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

It was like the sun was shining on me. The golden sun was shining on me. And then I got in trouble for that. Not right in that moment. But I late, like a friend said something that I said something. And then my parents freaked out and they put me in to an institution and outpatient institution. I was very, very confused because how I got into the institution was the guy who interviewed me. It was like, so, because you’re getting in trouble, you’re never going to smoke weed again. Right. I was an honest person and I still am to some extent that can be, I’m learning to not say as much. Sometimes I was like, you know, I, my experience was that it helped me. And I can’t say honestly that never again in my entire life, will I ever do it again? And so he was like, that means you’re a drug addict and you need to be in this rehab thing in that moment, went into like a downward spiral because there’s multiple dimensions cutting off my feminine and abmbilical cord to a plant on the earth that was helping me.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Right. And then going into an institution where I’m not even being honored already upfront as like a sovereign sane human and everything they took was from my parents’ perspective. And my parents were alcoholics and addicts. So I was very, very upset. And I was like a straight a student and didn’t do drugs, except I smoked weed this one time. And it was like, wow, that’s the liberated me in some way, I was just pissed and whatever. And then someone, at some point later on the road said that alcohol didn’t show up on a drug test and offered me to have some drinking moments with them. And this is a really intense life, little journey here. I chose to rebel and I was like, **** what My parents have to say, and I stopped being this good person. And I was like, I don’t care anymore.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

From that choice, I chose to drink with a friend and I experienced losing my virginity or what you would call. I don’t, I believe I’m still a Virgin because Virgin is an energetic quality of being connected to source. And I was raped that just catalyzed a huge giving up on the possibility of my light and love heaven on earth’s vision. I was just like, all right, it’s been 14 years on this planet. Everything I do just keeps crumbling and I’m keep being stifled. And now this thing that was so sacred to me because I wasn’t raised in a religious culture, but I had this knowing that there was a person in a soul in the planet of which I would have a deep loving connection with. And then from that, I would want to maybe share physical interaction. I wasn’t friends where like I’m losing my virginity.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

And I was like, I just know that love is what’s important. So it really shattered a lot of my idealistic visions for life. I just gave it a, I said **** it at that point and just drank and drank and drank and drank and took pills and stole my mom’s pills and went down that same program then a year later. So it didn’t take me long. I pretty much like committed suicide in the sense that I was in a place where I really, really didn’t care. And I took way more than I knew was logical and rational, but it was from a place of, I did not care if I died and I did. I don’t remember consciously everything that happened in that experience still. And I know it was very traumatizing for several individuals that were in the circle and there was more rape involved in that.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Just lots of things I had this moment fast forward to then I really got put into an institution. I went into a juvenile hall type of place. I hated it. Everyone was super mean. And there were people that were criminals and lots of young kids that had drug issues. And it was really crazy, lots of gangster type individuals. I was hating everything. Cried all the time. And then maybe after a month of being there, I was like shot through with this like bolt of like, I would say purifying energy. And I was brought into this deep state of total surrender because after a month of there being there, I kind of solidified into, by the way, this was a year long place. I couldn’t get out any sooner than a year, no matter what I did. I had surrender point at like a month in there, or maybe two months of just I’m ****ing here.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

This is where I am. And ultimately, yes, my parents are crazy and I’m rebelling against them. And I’m still mad and **** them. I chose to do what I did as a response to their beingness. I ultimately got myself into this mess and I surrendered and I just let everything go. And that’s at 15 years old. And then this bolt of lightning comes through and it’s like the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel when I had my near death experience. But I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. Two months later in a meditation, essentially God, goddess, absolute, whatever my higher self you want to that’s what it is, was like, look at these two paths here. This path over here on the right is the path that you came here for on planet earth to bring hope, to bring inspiration, to bring peace, to bring an awareness of the possibility of a new reality for people.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

And this is the path that you have been choosing and it like goes to the left and it’s, this is where this path will lead you. And it’s just death and destruction and suffering. So you can choose the path that you came here for, or you can choose the path that Lea will lead to certain suffering and death, your soul essentially. Oh yeah. Okay. Well, I came here for this, so I’m just going to full onboard choose it. So in that moment I was, I full onboard choose my highest mission here on planet earth at 15 years old, that was a turning point. I would say of catalyzing. This is just what it is. And I went through many iterations of how I thought I was going to be supporting the planet because my ego was still involved in the process. Oh, I’m going to help people heal from drug addiction. Oh, I’m going to help people heal from trauma. Oh, I’m going to help people in whatever way was relevant to me at the time. And now I have a different perspective, but in some ways that’s still true. I’ve done a lot of healing. There’s been a lot of isms that I’ve had to overcome some very specific ones based on the things that my parents had going on and the themes in our personal life storyline.

Brett Dupree:

So how do you go about helping people heal now,

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Holding space for them? I have many gifts and not all of them are seen and visible. And a lot of them are energetic and transmission-based and I’m like an activator and a catalyst for evolution. And so I activate things in people. And then I help them walk through the doorway of that activation because it can be really scary. And especially, there’s no map to this, like anyone who’s on an awakening path is not really going by a specific predetermined carved out past predetermined map. That can be very scary for a Western mind to transition into in awakening and still be like, wait, there’s no map wait. Like what? And so I hold space for people with really gentle, complete, open, loving-kindness for their transition process to resting into this idea. That’s defied all their past ideas about themselves. There’s sort of an ego death process.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

I guess I’m like a soul rebirter type of person. I help people go through rebirthing experiences in a myriad of different ways. And it’s, it’s unique to each person that I’m with based on their elemental qualities, we all have, you know, different Zodiac signs, different whatever. So every person has a different way of receiving and accessing information. So I work with people where they’re at based on their alchemy and help them to integrate these parts of themselves in a way that works for them. I have a sense of how to do that because of my psychic abilities beyond this life, but also in this life, having studied a lot and done a lot of trial and error and done things that work for me and studied Other people. Have a sense of patterns. So I help people unwind complex patterns and rebirth themselves into new versions of themselves. And it’s not like some contrived, you are now going to be superhero 2.0, it’s like whatever their heart and soul, their heart is wanting to blossom into in the moment.

Brett Dupree:

So what kind of shifts and transformations, how do you help facilitate within the other?

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

I’ve worked with a bunch of different people on different things. Some people reached out to me for relationship healing. One person. Sometimes it’s been a couple. Sometimes it’s been a deep, deep soul retrieval work. Are you saying how, like the technique or things that I’ve helped specific individuals overcome?

Brett Dupree:

So you’ve helped specific people overcome.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

First one that comes to mind cause there’s been many, but the first one that comes to mind is a friend of mine that I just met. I didn’t really know much about him, but I knew that he was struggling with addiction and was drinking a lot and was really, really, really avoiding his deeper feelings with in somewhat of a stagnant space. I didn’t realize the extent of his hopelessness until we spoke. After he shared about his experience, he intuitively knew he needed to work with me. And I worked with him and within half an hour, he released this deeply seated tie that he had been tethered to from this memory of childhood that he didn’t even remember until this moment that we went into this work and he made peace with his father and came into a state of equanimity and forgiveness. And then all of a sudden cold Turkey just stopped doing all substances.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

It’s really cool. So that’s an example. Another example is there’s some quantum work I do that’s with people who are more in a healing space. I’ve done work with someone who already does work like this. And in that context, we were doing deep somatic therapy and in the somatic therapy, we’re releasing past life imprints and DNA clearing the DNA and on programming, turning off certain things that are active in the DNA that don’t need that Aren’t for the benefit of the individual based on choices in the past, and then activating things in the DNA, the star codes, because we are all of the stars and helping them integrate that into the body. It’s I could say this. Oh, and you’re like, how is that even do you, how do you know that’s happening? Well, actually this is what the person on the tables telling me I’m doing.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

They’re like, wow, this life is being cleared and this is being cleared and that’s being cleared and I’m facilitating that clearing and the integration and the activation, but it’s not something I’m intellectually trying to do for people. I work on behalf of source to facilitate the highest transformation for someone in the realm of the gifts I have. So it’s not some intellectual, Oh, we’re going to go do this thing. Now. It’s like, what is present and wanting to be unwound right now and revealed and we touch and go and do that. And there’s a safe place for that.

Brett Dupree:

Thank you so much. We are coming towards the end of our time together. And one thing I like to ask my guests is do a one minute. The motivation. You can imagine this as if you’re going back in time to your eight-year-old self and you need to convey everything you need to know to live a happy joy-filled life, but you only have a minute until you’re back into the future. Or you can think of it as if you’re condensing your entire life’s message into a minute. So you’re ready.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Yes. If I were to say to my eight-year-old self, you are infinite and we can’t possibly know what you are becoming trust in your very nature trust in love for it is your very nature and know that you are always protected and guided know that your heart and your feet on the ground are a reliable source for you to navigate this life. And you do not need to listen to anyone else’s map. You are here for your own path and it is unique to you and you are learning what it is in every moment. Trust see through the illusion into kindness and unity and see all people held in love know that you are here bringing a new day and it is possible if you continue to persevere in love.

Brett Dupree:

Awesome. Thank you So much for coming on my podcast. I very much enjoy listening to who you story and learning who you are on this plane, listening to somebody who went through such an awakening such early on, but spent most of their life kind of stifled by their surroundings, by the able to bloom out of that is I think very helpful for people to hear and also all the beautiful work that you do in helping people to awaken that part within them so that they can also shine their light. So thank you so much for coming on to my podcast and thank you so much for what you do for this planet.

Shannon Kelly-Thomas:

Thank you, Brett. And I just want to let everyone know it is possible deep, profound healing that changes the way in the course of your entire life is possible and you have to allow it. And that’s, that’s what I have to say. Thank you, Brett, for being yourself and holding a sweet container for truth and fun.

Brett Dupree:

May your day be special.

Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript – Kaycee Mullaney – Living A Fit, Rich, And Beautiful Life By Living Your Soul’s Path

Brett Dupree:

Hello Kaycee and welcome to my podcast.

Kaycee Mullaney:

Hi Brett. I’m so excited to be here. You have no idea. This is fun. This is my, my form of fun.

Brett Dupree:

Awesome. I am grateful that you are spending your time with me today. So why don’t you give our guests an introduction to who you are?

Kaycee Mullaney:

Oh, wow. I’m a dietician and a spiritual life coach. Neither one was like kind of my intention to become, but that’s what I do professionally. And I blend them together and I technically have two separate businesses with them as well. Honestly, I’m just a girl from Kentucky that moved to Florida and follows her inner guidance and just keeps speaking things out to help people with stress, anxiety, fears, just moving to where they want to move in life. That’s just me, like in a nutshell with everybody, whether I’m just meeting you, I’m on a podcast or we’re friends having lunch. That’s just me all the time.

Brett Dupree:

Let’s talk about that girl from Kentucky, you help people with fear and anxiety. Was there a time where you lived in fear and anxiety?

Kaycee Mullaney:

Gosh, yeah. I, as far as my memory goes back, I had pretty significant anxiety starting with like a baby and I didn’t know what it was. It’s not like I want to say because of where I grew up. Cause Kentucky, if you’ve never been to Kentucky, I know there’s like definitely some stereotypes and things. Those are not accurate. It’s just thought the timeframe it was before we were really into talking about mental health, where it was acknowledged as a legit problem and things that a lot of people deal with. I know just my family had some background stuff with like-kind of adverse to talking about it. And which is interesting. Cause my grandmother dealt with anxiety. My dad dealt with anxiety, but we were just worriers. Everyone kind of just labeled us as worriers. And then if we could just get it, put ourselves out there more and things like that, it’d be fine.

Kaycee Mullaney:

Do you know? And, and so it wasn’t until I was in my early twenties when I was in the beginning of my clinical career, that I was joking with somebody that I was one of those people, that those anxiety meds were four, and then it hit me. Oh my gosh. Yes, I am. I’ve dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I’m at this point now where I’ve worked with it so much that I can shift myself. Like I can literally go from what I consider a very low, energetic state to a totally normal one within a span of an hour, if not less. And it’s just like because I’ve worked with it for so long and worked with myself for so long and worked with understanding energy and you have the mind and, and everything to just help me. It all started from me just wanting to feel better back in 2011, I was in that first job.

Kaycee Mullaney:

The one that I was joking with, somebody about my anxiety, I was in this job that just was going way downhill. And it was a catalyst to get me to move forward along my life path. But at the time it didn’t feel like a catalyst. It felt like my entire life was just drowning. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. Food would not stay in my body. I was having to use five pillows just to read at night sleep at night, I was doing any little thing that I could just to try to calm my mind enough, to get a little bit of sleep. I was in a really bad, very high, severe high anxiety, depressed state. And I also didn’t feel like I could get help for it. Like it just wasn’t even in my register, because again, we’re all taught things growing up and you’re taught your bubble, your whole perceptions, your realities.

Kaycee Mullaney:

So I was in this bubble of, I can handle this cause I’d always been able to handle everything that had been thrown my way and I didn’t even know to ask for help. And I’m also a very private person, which people don’t expect out of me now, seeing all my work out there that took a lot of practice for me to open up and be able to share things with people just to help heal other people. But I was a very private person. So, so nobody really knew this was going on. That I was in debilitating anxiety and I was like, something has to shift. I tried one medication that wasn’t working. And then about a year later I tried another one that actually had the reverse effect on me. And I’m like, you’ve got to figure something out because this is not living thinking that you need surgery for a hiatal hernia because you’re having all the same symptoms.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And just finding out that it’s stress, you know, is not living. And so essentially what happened was I just started paying more attention. I’d always had a deep spiritual connection since I was very, very small. I grew up in a, more of a Christian based society, but that’s not really what I consider myself. Now. I’m much more spiritual. I always knew from a very, very small age that God was just this loving presence. God was there to help us to support us to be this loving presence. And so I just involved God. And again, I don’t expect other people to use the word God like I know God can be very triggering. So source energy, big kahuna, whatever is best for you, the universe. But I knew that this loving presence was always there. This loving presence was always around me. And so I allowed this loving presence into everything I did and I also allowed for any communication.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And however, that came. And so I started leaning into that when I was in this horrific bout of anxiety and fear and depression, I just leaned into that more I leaned into, okay, God, what can I do from here? This is where I’m at. This is not working and not knowing it, but these were my means and limitations of what I believed. I got to spend money on what I got, what I got to receive, the kind of help I got to get. You know, these are the limitations. I clearly need some help. Then I just started leaning into from there. And what happened was I felt called to start one business. I’m also a certified personal stylist, which I just when I started listing all my credentials, it just starts feeling like a bit of a mouth. I started personal styling and I felt very overwhelmed by that.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And then that led me to falling in love with more holistic nutrition, which then led me to all this personal development. It just, it all kind of stumbled along my way. And again, I believe that our paths are there to guide us when you feel called to something that doesn’t make sense to you. It’s not because it doesn’t have to make sense. It’s just, it’s just getting you to where your next step is. You need to go. I know a lot of times people view these things as mistakes. They’re not mistakes, they’re pieces along your path that are meant to connect you and helped you and get you your next step. And so that’s kind of what happened with me. I didn’t set out on my path to go. I’m going to become, you know, a dietician and a life coach. The dietician thing kind of stumbled.

Kaycee Mullaney:

Because my mom was really directing my major in college, which was not normal. It was not a normal relationship for us. I was just, I guess, some guidance from her or something. And then I became this dietician middle of the fun recession. That was just back in 2008, 2009. And so then I had a career when nobody else had a career and then ended up kind of following all these other stepping stones, which eventually led me to spiritual life coaching. And it was mostly because I wanted to help other people. I was doing all this work on myself and especially being in the medical field, I saw so many people just burning themselves out. It’s not always the best field. It can be a very abusive field. I’m not saying it always is, but it’s definitely a field where normal standards and rules of society are just not normally there people behave in ways that I never imagined. It’s very interesting. And I watched a lot of people just kind of be mentally beaten, but it also just not seeing that there was more to their life and their potential than just making it through. And it just hurt my soul. It hurt my heart and I, couldn’t help. That’s kind of how I ended up in spiritual life coaching.

Brett Dupree:

Cool. So what was it like when you first started with your first clients in spiritual life coaching?

Kaycee Mullaney:

So I started with weight loss. Coaching is really where it was because I was still a dietician and I wanted to help women. As I said, there are so many fun details and I know we only have like a tiny amount of time, but I was recognizing that how I kind of slid more into only really worked with people more with the spiritual pieces and the life pieces was I noticed that there was so much more like weight loss was never just about weight loss ever. And it’s just not, it’s never about the actual loss of the weight. There’s way more involved into it. Most people are holding on to things that need to heal most people if it was easy to lose weight. And I know sometimes people will try to throw in, well, but I have this or that, or I’m this age.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And I’m like, yeah, but I’ve watched all of that. Be able to heal and move and change. There’s a readiness to change. There’s where your mind is, what you believe you can receive all of these things. Most things that a lot of people are not introduced to. And so very initially I was working with these weight loss hotlines and styling them after and kind of really digging in deep. And then that kind of evolved into where I was starting sessions with like, okay, where are you today? And what do you need today? And this is more, my one-on-one not like my group things and whatnot, but I was like, where are you today? And what do you need today? And how can we move forward from here? And so a lot of times people were bringing me their stress. They were bringing me their stress.

Kaycee Mullaney:

They were bringing me their fears. They’re bringing me what they don’t believe they can have or their frustrations. If I don’t understand why this thing in my life, isn’t working, really, what I ended up offering was just a perspective they’d never heard of or perspective. They’ve never seen in many cases. There’s not a lot of people that I would work with just for a couple of sessions because that’s all they really needed at the time to shift. And then when they need help again, they come back and we do more individual sessions. It’s more about seeing, okay, where are you at? What are you battling? Let’s shift these perspectives. Let’s dig deeper and see what you need to heal. And you need to process through and healing can sound so challenging and it can be at times. It also doesn’t have to be. Sometimes it really just takes a shift or an eyeopening.

Kaycee Mullaney:

I talk a lot about how our perspective, a lot of times we have our perspective where we have these horse blind. Again, I’m from Kentucky with horse racing. I grew up around thoroughbred farms and you put blinders on the horses. So the horses aren’t spooked, particularly when they’re racing and it’s to keep them in their focus. It keeps them just in their lane where they are. And most people actually, all people have blinders on to some respect you’re in your lane and where you are. And until those blinders are popped off, you can’t always see that there’s a lot more solutions or there’s way more ways to see this situation. Or even maybe there’s a whole their perspective that helps you recognize that this is not a big deal. I remind people all the time that, yeah, there’s parts of life that are not easy, that are, can be very hurtful or very challenging, but it’s all a game.

Kaycee Mullaney:

This entire life is just a soul journey. The entire purpose of it is for soul growth. And when you recognize that it’s just for soul growth, you can release and shift things so much faster. You can release people. You can really split relationships. You can allow yourself to receive more. It’s all more of just playing. It’s playing with you, playing with energy, and playing with your growth and it just helps you heal. It just helps you move forward. It helps you recognize your purpose and just live a more free life, which I think is really empowering.

Brett Dupree:

They talk a lot about soul and spirit. Were you raised to think that way or did you discover it along your path?

Kaycee Mullaney:

So I came from, so I have an interesting spiritual background for being from a very Christian based society. So my parents were both actually different religions, which feels ridiculous, but it felt ridiculous when I was like three I’m like, I don’t understand the problem. You guys basically believe the same thing, but like, I wouldn’t have so much judgment on both sides. My dad was a Baptist. My mom was Catholic. I witnessed judgment on both sides, but luckily I was raised in a very liberal Catholic church. It was actually named one of the most liberal Catholic churches in America until reform came in and it was full of mixed, lots of mixed religion families. Like we didn’t have kneelers, I didn’t even know what a kneeler was until I was eight or nine or so. And that was being raised in the Catholic church, but I had this very liberal Catholic church.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And then on top of that, my grandmother was involved in energy healing. Actually, she didn’t do it like as a professional. She actually was a Reiki master and was very much into spiritual things. And so I just had a different exposure and I also started learning about inner child work from her when I was six, five or six, and then perception and things like that. So I just had a very different perspective. So parts of it were my environment growing up, but a lot of it was just intuitively felt. And then moving forward, I always believe we have a soul where, you know, we’re a body basically for our soul. Our soul actually kind of expands beyond our bodies. And it just allows our soul, this experience for accelerated growth, which was that piece was not something my family was like, this is an experience for your soul. That was more me intuitively receiving. As I got older, I did have a very, to say that I came from a traditional background that would not be right at all. So some of it was from early childhood.

Brett Dupree:

I’m curious on how anxiety showed up in your life. For instance, in my life, I had a lot of social anxiety and kind of like everyone was looking at me all the time, judging everything I did. And no matter what I did, I was wrong. What did the anxiety look like?

Kaycee Mullaney:

But like I said, mine started as a baby. I had severe separation anxiety, severe, severe separation anxiety so much. So my poor mom, when she found it out, like when she was pregnant with my brother who was a very chill human being, she wanted like 20 kids and she cried. She was like, I can’t do this right now. I did have two of them like this. So mine is with separation anxiety. I get overwhelmed very easily, even as a small kid. Like what if my, I had one friend who would come over and she may have had touches of add. I’m not sure if she, she likes had to get out every toy. Like her attention span was very short. She would leave. And me being the great Southern hostess that I was, it’d be like, no, we don’t have, you don’t have to help me clean up.

Kaycee Mullaney:

I’ll clean up. But then when I have too big of a task in front of me, which is something I’ve had to work on in my business as well, I have too big of a task in front of me. I get into paralyzing fear. I just get into total overwhelm, talk about flight or fight, but there’s also a freeze option. And I go into freeze mode when I have an anxiety spike. I also tend to go into freeze mode when people were screaming at me, but some of the fun things that I’ve experienced through health care, which again, I do believe we’re just part of my journey and path. I’m not saying that every single person that’s in healthcare ever experiences, stuff like this by any means, I believe things happen for growth it’s for lessons and growth. It’s things you did kind of choose to help you grow along your path.

Kaycee Mullaney:

If I’m being screamed at. I never needed that. Even as a small kid, if we sat down and had a conversation to me of like, don’t run in the middle of street, Mike, you might get hit and you could die and be like, okay, that makes sense. And it made sense. And I was totally happy going along with it. And I was also just a good kid. I was very, I saw this as a good thing to do. This is who you should be. And I was also very people-pleasing. So things like that would spike my anxiety as well. If I felt, I wouldn’t say I totally had social anxiety, new situations, leaving the house in new situations, definitely spiked anxiety. And occasionally still will actually in a way that almost amuses me because it really we’re going to go there again. Mine was more not meeting expectations.

Kaycee Mullaney:

I didn’t like confrontation. I didn’t like harsh confrontation. I always heard the guests, the next moved to prevent some harsh confrontation. And so if I was unable to do that, that would cause me anxiety, trying to be whatever people needed to me to be, to not lash out or something. Um, I didn’t have an abusive childhood. I don’t want anyone to think that to try and prevent anyone from lashing out at me. I would do anything I could to mold myself to whatever I needed to be, to prevent that pain, which also caused a lot of stress, as you can imagine. That’s, I mean, that’s a lot, especially like I started doing that when I was about three or four. So, you know, it depends on all that crusher. It just adds to the pressure you’re putting on yourself. Mostly my anxiety would come from overwhelming from people-pleasing. And then, like I said, when I was young, definitely a separation,

Brett Dupree:

What was it like getting over it or pushing through it? I guess

Kaycee Mullaney:

When things my mom did well when I was little with it, she recognized, I mean, again, we weren’t calling it anxiety, but she recognized this tendency that my grandmother had it. My dad had, and she saw it in me and she knew I needed to just do stuff. She’s like she was forcing me out of the house to do things. I didn’t go to preschool. It wasn’t normal in my age bracket for preschool, it was hit or miss. Some people did. Some people didn’t, you know, most of us started at kindergarten. I didn’t start with preschool. My brother did. She put me in ballet and Dale was tap jazz and ballet. I had this clot and I love to dance.

Kaycee Mullaney:

I would be crying my eyes out, freaked out, hiding under the covers, trying not to go, but I would love it so much. And she knew that I would love being there and I love the outcome. And so she started having us do things and especially as, as younger kids, because my brother and I were both pretty timid, but especially me. She would make me do things like not force me, force me in some kind of bad way, but like put me in new situations or make me place the order for our random monthly Friday night pizza. You know, she would have me do things that she knew would be out of my comfort zone from a very young age. So I started doing that for myself because my grandma Brown, my maiden name is Brown. My grandma Brown was kind of at a place where she didn’t even like to leave the house with her anxiety.

Kaycee Mullaney:

My dad even still stressed over a lot of things, you know, I mean, and it’s just us. It’s, it’s the anticipatory anxiety with a lot of things. And in, so she didn’t want that. Sorry. It makes me a little emotional. She didn’t want that for me. I started using that. I started recognizing that I was very capable. I had two different school transitions growing up. So I started working on it very, very young, not really knowing what I was doing. I knew that I could basically live in this bubble of fear or I could have friends and like, and try to work on myself and be more outgoing. Like again, it was a very quiet private person. I think a big catalyst for me, what I had a very rough middle school experience at this very tiny Catholic school, which me a bit more. I spoke up for myself more there because nobody else was going to do it.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And then we, my high school experience, I actually went to a high school that merged two middle schools into that high school. So I knew nobody was going to know me. They weren’t going to know that I didn’t already have a group of friends. So I actually taught myself how to be more confident, more outgoing. I would force myself to have conversations that I wasn’t totally comfortable having because if you don’t, you’re going to have to sit by yourself at lunch. You need to be more open. You need to be more, more somebody that’s. You need to be more receptive and confident in who you are, because you do get to be a person that has friends, but you have to release this anxiety and allow yourself to do that. It’s very interesting to me to look back at the age bracket that I did a lot of these things and did them on my own.

Kaycee Mullaney:

I believe you have past soul experiences and things that help prepare you for this lifetime as well. And I do believe that some of this must-have come from that because there are things that I shouldn’t have known to do, but again, I do try to rely on my faith and rely on my intuition. And it is amazing to me what I was able to do on my own. And then when I was older, working through anxiety situations, a lot of it was just going, okay, how can I feel better? Now I get to shift and choose and to feeling better, how can I shift into choosing and feeling better now? What would make me feel good now? And just like I tell my clients, it’s not always going to be one thing. The thing that worked this time is not going to be the thing that works next time, but you get to feel good in the now and you can always figure out a way to get there.

Kaycee Mullaney:

So I played with that a lot, even when I was younger when I wasn’t totally recognizing what I was doing. Okay, this doesn’t feel good. And you’ve got to go do this presentation in five minutes. How are you going to do this? And it’s actually an up becoming like an, a great personal or personal great public speaker. When I was young, I do videos and things Now. I remember in college, most people would have me. I wouldn’t have to do any of the work just as long as I presented it because I could get myself into a good place to do that presentation. When it used to cause me mass anxiety, it was all just shifting and playing. Does that all make sense? Sometimes I just start going and I’m like, I have to check in because I think I’d say makes sense.

Brett Dupree:

So how do you help empower women to understand it and embrace their soul paths? What does it look like working with you?

Kaycee Mullaney:

What does it look like? So again, I kind of work with people where they’re at some people come to me and they’ve already been doing work on themselves forever. And they just need help more with confidence, with feeling more love for themselves. Other people were really starting one of my favorite long-standing. She does like occasional sessions with me. And she’s one of my members we’re constantly working on different perspectives with anxiety with her. You know, it just depends on where you’re at and what you need. What happens is during our session. If we do like one-on-one sessions, we kind of start chatting. And I just try to shift your perspective. I sit here and go, okay. I don’t think she’ll mind me using this as an example. So like a session I had the other night, she was stressed about four weeks from now, her son having to potentially back in school or making the decision if he’s going to be in person in school or not.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And I did remind I’m like, okay, well, one you right now are being quarantined, just cause you, you just came back from this trip. You’re being quarantined. Your mind is going crazy. You have these five other stressors that you just mentioned. And all your mind is trying to do is to latch on to a new stressor. You came home, you’re relaxed, everything, everything got back. Okay, you’re good right now. And all of a sudden your mind’s like, I don’t have anything to stress about. So let me latch onto this stressor. And then we’re going to worry about it for the next four weeks. And it doesn’t take much. I cover a lot that I could literally do probably 15 to 20-minute sessions with people and they leave totally relieved. We cover, if I do in my normal hour, hour and 15 minutes, we cover so much.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And it’s part of why people are able to do one-off sessions here and there with me as well, especially if they’re in my membership, but we cover so much. We ended up going like, okay, so this is just your mind. Your mind is a computer. Your mind is latching onto this. It doesn’t feel safe to get out of fear right now. So how can we allow ourselves to release the fear? How can we allow ourselves to move forward? This is not that big of a deal. You’re making it a big deal. It’s in four weeks. If you can remember that, like four weeks ago, we didn’t know what these last four weeks were going to look like. You can try to prepare yourself. It’s always a reminder of you can try to prepare, but your best efforts are not always going to measure up.

Kaycee Mullaney:

They’re just not. And when you can recognize that God’s got it, the universe has it. You’re allowed to be supported because this is not an easy thing. You have a soul team behind you. You really do have support for this because this is not easy. It’s not like we’re just lounging on the beach all the time down here, you know? So it was not easy. And when you can sit back and relax and allow your soul team to help you allow for help, which is, can be very challenging for women, allow yourself to release, allow yourself to recognize the difference between your mind and your soul. And this is really what we get into in sessions. We get into recognizing what’s your mind, what’s your soul? What feels good? And what do you need to feel better now? And sometimes they go into specific techniques.

Kaycee Mullaney:

But a lot of times what I tend to help people do is free their mind. I help them free their mind from whatever is going on. Now I help remind them of who they are and what they need and that all they have, all the answers within them at any moment, God’s there. Your spiritual team is always there. You have everything within you at any moment. All I’m really doing in these timeframes is just helping release that I’m helping people get out of their own way to release the answers they need to move forward. However, they need to move forward, whether that’s what their business. Cause I do have a couple of entrepreneurs that I work with. I’m not doing business coaching with them, but I have helped people make breakthroughs in their business just by doing this just by helping them shift and perspective shift and recognize what they need and allow answers to open up within them, to release the stressors, release the pain, release, whatever, and allow for themselves to open up to elevate their vibration and feel better. Because when you elevate your vibration, you receive easier, but you don’t have to be in an elevated vibration to receive. You can receive wherever you’re at, but I just help him release these things that are standing in their way and frustrating them or causing them pain and stress. And then they’re able to move forward in a much more peaceful existence. And then I have meditations and all that fun stuff too. Like sometimes if they need it, we’ll meditate at the beginning of a call or they have ones they can use from me.

Brett Dupree:

You have any fun success stories to share?

Kaycee Mullaney:

Fun success stories? I have a lot, one of the things I love. So my membership’s actually called the ultimate level of membership. And so one of the things that I love seeing is I love when I see people just grow in one of my favorite, all of my favorite success stories. I’m trying to think of which ones stand out the most. There are so many that I like love. And one thing I do love is people still grow. You’re never, you’re not going to stop growing. And until you’re dead, even then you’re still growing. You’re just going in a different form. You know, you’re here to grow. And so one of the things I love it when I watch people’s perspectives, one girl in particular, that when she was certain that she had to be in the struggle, we all have different backgrounds in different places of belief.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And she just she’s an amazing human being was so many amazing talents, but she didn’t believe she got to receive anything for her amazing talents. She thought that she basically had to stay in this #$#$ job with @$#$ hours. She was good with years ago, but she really can’t say no. And it was not paying adequately to live hardly and all these things and just the growth that I’ve seen from her and the light that I’ve watched come back and she, and she start releasing these lies and you start releasing this pain. When you start releasing the boundaries and the restrictions that you’ve put on yourself, you’re able to shift into better forms of existence you’re able to shift into. Oh, well it is to my benefit for me to do things I enjoy doing with my life. It’s to my benefit, to have a job that pays adequately or to have a career that pays adequately, you know, and then more than adequately and allow me to receive all these other abundant things into my life and allow me to be a human that can help other humans.

Kaycee Mullaney:

Because when we’re stuck in our struggle and our way in our struggle, we can’t be a light for anybody else. We can’t be that joy for anybody else. We can’t light up a room and the way that a room needs to be lit up, like so many people are living with the blinders on and so much stress and so much frustration. So caught up in their day to day pains. The more joy that can go out into the world, the more the world can heal. The more love, the more joy that can go out there, the more it can heal. And so my favorite is just like this one girl like I watch people all the time shift another favorite client of mine that I’ve had for years now, she’s on some individual sessions with me. She’s also been in my membership and just watching her shift and change and grow in what she believes she can have in life and shifts that I’ve witnessed in her business.

Kaycee Mullaney:

And, and just in her ability to give and receive and to understand some of these principles and live them a little deeper because our age brackets are very different and she was raised in time. This is what you do. You get a job, you do this blah, blah, blah. You need to put all these amazing abilities, have to the side and just watching her blossom and watching her recognize that what she gives to the world is so valuable that her work is so valuable and you’re not a surgeon or whatever, but that doesn’t make you less valuable. Your art gets to be very valuable. Again, it brings joy into other people’s lives and you get to value that as well. And you get to give yourself space to do that. And also watching her release. I do end up occasionally talking a bit about grief and just watching her or release her grief and over a loss of a child and you know, and seeing her growth through that as well.

Kaycee Mullaney:

She’s just amazing. I have so many things in my mind and I try not to give specifics. I keep things in containers. People will come to me. I share my life out with the world because I chose to do that. But I try not to give here all the details, what we went through, what we did just cause then it does kind of sometimes make it obvious of who the person is. Especially if you’re, I allow people to be open about what they want to be open about in the containers that I have for them to do that. And then those are sacred. Those are not necessarily, I try not to. I make it safe. I want it to be safe for you to grow. I don’t want you to be like, okay, I’m going to tell you this really in-depth personal story. And then you’re going to see it on social media. So I try to keep things a little more general when I’m using guidance and things that I’ve done with clients. So I’m not trying to not be specific. I just, I try to be courteous of, of what they’ve shared with me.

Brett Dupree:

Well, we are coming to the end of our time together. One thing I like to ask my guests is do one minute of motivation. You can imagine this as if you have a time machine and you’re going back to your eight-year-old self and you want it to convey everything. You need to live a happy joy-filled life, but unfortunately, you only have a minute until your plopped back into the future as if your entire life message into a minute. So are you ready?

Kaycee Mullaney:

I think I’m ready. I have two thoughts on this. I’m like, I think I’m ready. Let’s do it. Okay. So if I had one minute, honestly, I would say don’t take it all so seriously. Life is just a game. This is just a soul journey and you’re not meant to get it. All right. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to not get it. All right. Let yourself relax. Love for yourself. Have a fun focus on the moment you’re in focus on the moment and you’re one way more. Remind yourself. You get to choose how you feel. Then let yourself shift into that. You can always shift into more peace, calmer, more fun, whatever you want to be. You’re in full control of that. And you just get to release and let the rest go. Just let go and let God

Brett Dupree:

Awesome. Thank you so much for coming on my podcast. I very much let’s enjoy listening to your story on how anxieties have held you back and your perspective on anxiety and how you’re able to grow out of that and push through it and have this innate desire to help other people with their life and living their soul paths, which is awesome to help somebody be who they are and shine out in their authentic, vulnerable self. And also thank you for being vulnerable with yourself on my podcast. So thank you so much for everything you do for this planet. And thank you for being on my podcast.

Kaycee Mullaney:

Oh, absolutely. Thanks for having me. This is fun.

Brett Dupree:

May your day be special.

Kaycee Mullaney:

Awesome. Yours too. That’s a great way to end that. All right. Thanks, Brett.

Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript Heather Picken – Gain Clarity on Your Vision, Breakthrough Self-Sabotage, And Live Fearlessly

Brett Dupree:

Hello, Heather, and welcome to my podcast.

Heather Picken:

Well, hello, Brett. Thank you so much for having me as your guest.

Brett Dupree:

My pleasure. Why don’t you give the guests a brief introduction to who you are?

Heather Picken:

Yes. So I am the creator of The Vision Method and I have a patent pending journal called The Vision Journal. Basically, I deal with people that want to get to the next level. So think about high performance, creating discipline, focus, getting out of your own way, gaining clarity. That is something that I’m just so passionate about. I’m sure we’ll probably talk about how that really came about.

Brett Dupree:

And who were you before you decided to go on this path? How did you grow up and stuff?

Heather Picken:

It’s interesting because it goes back to when I was in fourth grade, I was diagnosed with a learning disorder dyslexia, and I can remember sitting in the classroom thinking how stupid I was, because I was yanked out of the classroom in front of my peers, shuffled across the room to be in this special room where I was being tutored. And I didn’t know what was going on that really shaped me in that moment. Like it really shaped my identity. So for many years after that, I really struggled to kind of get it together, going through college. I barely made it through college. It took me actually six years to make it through college. And I always joke. It’s like, I didn’t get my master’s degree, but I got my PhD in failure. And so it’s like everything that I tried to do with my body, with my relationships, just trying to move forward, I would get stuck.

Heather Picken:

And so I would start getting in my head, beating myself up. Why is it so hard for me? Why does it take longer for me to do anything? One of the very first things that got me on this path was actually my body. I had struggled with my body for so many years when I was in high school, I had anorexia and it was just an unhealthy relationship with my body show. I really wanted to, you know, find a way where I could transform my body. That’s where I got into bodybuilding. It totally changed my life when I thought, okay, this is a way for me to, you know, do something that was very powerful, how this changed. This is so crazy because I remember going to the gym one day and I was looking at this girl like her physique was just incredible. Wow.

Heather Picken:

I’d love to look like that. And at the same time, it was that movie. When the Terminator came out with Linda Hamilton, there was a scene where she was doing the pull ups. And so I go to the gym after watching that movie and I started to visualize myself as that character. And six months later, I transformed my body. That changed my life. I went to my first competition, placing third one, a an overall show and place top five and many competitions. And then I turned that into a business. It was all about creating a mind, body connection. So I started doing that and then I started to evolve my business. I took that online. I wanted to evolve my business in a different way. And that’s when I started working with entrepreneurs, focusing on their mindset, their vision, and helping them get out of their own way. And there are so many other things and failures along the way, but that, that’s kind of how my story evolved.

Brett Dupree:

You got to the gym, you worked out, you visualize and you learn this. How did you discover the brain body connection? How did that actually click?

Heather Picken:

You know, it’s interesting. I came across a book and I’m thinking of this was before bodybuilding. It’s just amazing. It was a book called just think yourself thin. I think that was the title. And I was very intrigued by that concept. If you think about having a thin body that you could actually create that in this book, if I remember it, wasn’t very scientific, but I grabbed hold of the concept because for many years, my identity was, I was fat. I could never lose weight. I would beat myself up. So that was one of the books. The Terminator, when I was visualizing that this is a crazy thing I was visualizing and I didn’t understand what I was doing. And all of the sudden that’s how my body transformed going back. Now I think about it, going back to my childhood, I used to do these things that a school carnivals called a cakewalk, and it was kind of like musical chairs where you would go around, walk around in a circle, the music would stop. And then you would have to stand wherever you landed on that number, whatever number. And then your number would be called you would win a cake. Every single year. I would go home with a cake because when I was doing this cakewalk as a kid, I was visualizing myself, literally holding the cake. I had no idea what I was doing at the time. It’s just so crazy. So I had been like this all my life. I just didn’t realize, you know what I was doing.

Brett Dupree:

You worked hard on yourself and you switched your mindset. What made you want to start helping other people with theirs?

Heather Picken:

What happened? It was kind of what I call my breaking down moment. I think a lot of people have what I call that dark night of the soul. I had moved across the country. It was for a boyfriend. That’s always how the story goes for a boyfriend. I remember moving out of fear, rule number 997, never do anything out of fear that you know, you’re just not aligned with. So I moved in with him. I didn’t really have a lot of money. I didn’t have a car. I think I had like a couple hundred dollars left in my bank account. My credit cards are just maxed out. It was shortly after I moved in with him. We had a fight. It was 2:00 AM. He kicked out. Now at the time I had this little Chihuahua named angel, I stuffed all my belongings into trash bags.

Heather Picken:

I sat there alone in the dark going, how did I get here? I’m a college educated woman and why do I keep repeating this same situation? And I’m going to make it my mission and my intention to help other people if I make it through this night. And that’s what I did the next day. I found a complete stranger to move in with on Craigslist. It’s such a crazy story. I mean, there’s more to this story, but I moved in with this person. I dedicated myself. And this is where the focus is really important. I only focused on my business. I worked out, I ate, slept, and that’s it. And within a couple of months, my entire business transformed my mindset transformed. It was so liberating. And that was really the catalyst for me and my calling to work with other people, because I didn’t want to go through that pain.

Brett Dupree:

What pain?

Heather Picken:

The pain of reliving that lesson over and over again.

Heather Picken:

And also the pain of people that are struggling. A lot of people and even successful people everybody’s struggles at some level, but if you don’t know how to get out of your own way, you’re going to stay there. I was on a mission to understand how you get out of your own way. What is really the science behind why we get stuck? And so I started learning and training and researching really dedicating the rest of my life to not only evolve myself, but to help other people. And it’s just so exciting when I can see someone transform their life, especially through the vehicle of serving other people, having a business that serves other people. That to me, is very inspiring.

Brett Dupree:

The more you help other people that your own personal life started to improve.

Heather Picken:

I think it goes hand in hand because as you know, now, I go back to when I was starting out, as I was helping other people, it gave me the confidence to dream bigger and the bigger that you dream, the more people that you can impact and the money is definitely a byproduct. That is what has always kept me going. Even through the toughest times, having that vision, having a vision, to serve people with whatever it is that you’re doing.

Brett Dupree:

I’m curious. Why did you want to start your own business? I mean, you could do almost, you can still work out and become an accountant or something. What about being an entrepreneur stood out to you?

Heather Picken:

You know, it’s funny. I have control issues. I never want anyone to control me and that I think that’s where it really originated from. I grew up my father. He started his own business from nothing that really instilled the values of hard work. Like he always told me, Hey, you’re just not sitting around and being lazy. You’re working in the yard or you’re getting a job. And I don’t like yard work. So I definitely got a job. I noticed, you know, when I would go to work, even if it was like a job, like a waitressing job or something like that, I didn’t like to be told what to do. I really did have control issues. And I thought, okay, I’m going to create something out of nothing. That’s kind of where it started. And I just, I love that idea of being my own boss. And I’m not going to sugar coat it because being an entrepreneur is one of the hardest things that you ever, ever do. Anyone taking on being an entrepreneur, you have to be resilient. That’s why I love doing what I do because I can get into someone’s head space and understand what issues they’re going through and how to navigate around that. Because it really isn’t about, I look at marketing and marketing is important, but it is a secondary issue. If someone can’t take action to move forward.

Brett Dupree:

Cool. So what made you want to write a book?

Heather Picken:

No. So I’ve written four books and my last book, the LA Dolce Vita formula, a woman’s guide to living a fearless and fabulous life. I wanted to take all my training and learning, put it into a book and talk about now, this book is specifically for women, but men have read it, but I wanted to speak to the experience of being a woman. My own struggles case studies of some of my clients really have them understand that fear is the number one thing that stands in your way to getting to the next level. You can look at any area of your life, wherever you are disempowered in that area. Not moving forward. I can guarantee you, there is a level and layer of fear, and this goes across the board. I don’t care how successful you are when I am working with like a high level CEO, they have fear.

Heather Picken:

They have struggles. You think they have it all together? Absolutely not. I love the complications can sound crazy. Just the complication of emotions and like, how do you get out of your own head? How do, how do you break through that trauma and drama that is running your psychology? When I can show other women how to get out of their own way, that when they become unstoppable. And I just love being a teacher, like looking at my own mess, like, Hey, look, I’ve had many failed relationships. I mean, now I’m in a great relationship, but it took me so many years of just learning about myself and just kind of understanding those patterns and realizing that I can be in a healthy relationship. I can be successful in a business. I don’t have to be a hundred percent positive all the time. I can embrace all of the failures and move through it. And that’s what I’m really good at.

Brett Dupree:

What is one of your failures that you had to push through it? How were you able to push through it? Wow.

Heather Picken:

So where do I start? There’s so many goes, well, one of the biggest ones, as I mentioned, being thrown out, that was a catalyst for me in my journey. I’m trying to think of, I want to talk, I’m trying to think of in generalities, investing in yourself. I have been at this for, gosh, I want to say about 15 years and I invested so much money. I mean over a hundred thousand. And it’s interesting because some people, when they invest in something and it doesn’t work out, it will stop them from moving forward. It’s never stopped me. You know, I’ve invested $5,000 over here, 10,000, 25,000, 80,000. Some of the things that absolutely did not work out. And one of the lessons that I’ve learned is that you cannot hold yourself in contempt. You cannot feel resentful for the things that you’ve done, that haven’t worked out. And so I think some of the biggest lessons for me have been through how I’ve invested chasing after, and I’m guilty of it chasing after those shiny objects, those types of strategies never work, never work, but they’re the greatest lessons. So you don’t want to stop investing in yourself. You want to keep doing that if in fact, your vision and your mission and your purpose is to keep moving forward and helping other people.

Brett Dupree:

What are some ways that you would recommend entrepreneurs to invest in them?

Heather Picken:

Honestly, the fastest way to invest in yourself is getting a coach or a mentor. In goal setting theory. They actually had a few things that will ensure, or actually accelerate the rate in which you achieve your goals. And one of those ways is hiring a mentor. When you’re getting someone to hold you accountable, you’re like 76% more likely to achieve your goals. So getting a mentor, making sure that you’re writing your goals down and that they’re not what I call unicorn goals. A unicorn goal is an unrealistic expectation that you have on yourself that you know, you’re not going to take action on. And I want to give you a quick example. I’ve had clients come to me and they said, Heather, I want to make a half a million in a year when they’ve never made a hundred thousand. I’m like, I am not going to agree to that because that’s unrealistic for a startup in business to have that goal. They have to understand what it takes to be disciplined as an entrepreneur. And that’s another thing every single day, you want to focus on the highest priority that you can do. You’ve got to have that discipline. And the last thing we’ll say is consistency. A lot of entrepreneurs are not consistent and taking actions. So if you bought a course or hired a mentor and you’re not consistent on what they’re telling you to do, don’t expect to get the results that you want.

Speaker 3:

So this is one of my favorite questions to ask is I see you’re someone who’s been on hay house radio, ABC, Fox, CBS, CW, and working on your own documentary plus working with a lot of high achievers and CEOs. Do you ever go through the fraud phenomenon?

Heather Picken:

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I think everyone does. I am not afraid to do something that is way out of my comfort zone. I think a lot of people think I’m crazy. People might say, well, who are you to do that? I don’t care. I need to be honest because I’m really good at aligning myself to big opportunities and that’s a benefit, but it also has a downside. The downside is now I have to 100% focus. I have to get out of my own way. So each time I approach these new things, like the documentary, working with high level CEOs, I will have to get out of my own way. So I’ll have to go in there really own my power in that area. And this is something that I teach my clients because I find at every level you will have that feeling, Oh, I feel like a fraud. I was working with a client the other day. It’s a very high level CEO and they had these same feelings, but it was just in a different area in which they’re working on. So I think it’s kind of comforting to know no matter where you’re at in your journey, we all feel that way. And I think if you feel too comfortable, you’re really not learning and pushing yourself enough.

Brett Dupree:

So what does that look like working with you?

Heather Picken:

I always think the way that I work is kind of like a friend in a way that challenges you, depending on if I’m working with someone in a group or one on one to me, I want my voice to be in their head. And what I mean by that is if you embrace these principles of changing, like really how to change your thinking, change your brain, then you’re going to start hearing my voice and you’re going to start implementing the things that you need to do, align and attract those opportunities. I like to build a rock, solid relationship with my clients. I think that’s so critical. And when you can do that, I have people like referring me to other people. You just build a relationship. I think a lot of people, especially like being online, a lot of people I think have lost sight of that. And I have like this love, hate relationship with it. Anyone in business, you know, you’ve got to treat your clients. Well, you’ve got to be like a friend to them now, obviously there’s boundaries that you don’t want to have them to cross. My philosophy is always focusing on the client. How can I help you to get to that next level? And what does that look like? That’s kind of how I work with my clients.

Brett Dupree:

Uh, what do you like most with working with your clients?

Heather Picken:

I love the breakthroughs. I absolutely loved. I like when they’re making more money, obviously, but it’s like when you’re taking someone’s brain and your remodeling it, and that’s the crazy thing about brain science is that the brain is neuroplastic. It can change in milliseconds. When just a quick little story. I was working with a client who was in Taiwan. They moved over to another country, didn’t speak the language. Can you help me build a business? And I said, sure, but my teaching is going to be totally different than the traditional way. And I said, if you do everything I tell you to do, I think you have a good shot at it. One of the things that we did was just focus on changing his self image. He was so blown away because he had a teacher’s mindset and a teacher’s mindset is just always just getting paid minimally. And I had to evolve his perception from that image. And so within, I think it was about eight weeks. He landed a $10,000 contract, and this is someone that’s moved to a different country. I was even surprised myself and it’s really not about me, but it’s about the person and how hungry they are to get out of their own way and do the inner work. And that’s the key.

Brett Dupree:

Hmm. It is amazing how much power we have on controlling well changing and transforming our brains.

Heather Picken:

It really is. And I’m still amazed when I get in my own head and I do get in my own way. And I always share my stories. Like if I’m working with my clients, because it’s a way for them to connect with me, like I am not perfect. I get in my head. What’s really great is being resilient when you can be resilient, like if something does not work out and that’s just the nature of business, being able to just pause, breathe, let go, the minute you let go, that’s when you’ll find the solution. I just think we hold on so tight because we are so wired to think a specific way. So we have to break that chemical addiction in our mind so that we can evolve and find the solutions we’re looking for.

Brett Dupree:

Then your bio, your favorite quote is knowing yourself as like having a superpower. Why is that your favorite quote?

Heather Picken:

Gosh, it, it really is my favorite quote because it’s been my story with every relationship. I’ve realized that it’s failed blown up in my face when I was not being true to myself. That’s where my business would die. My vision would just diminish because that wasn’t standing in my power. I think a lot of people, especially women, they’re so afraid to stand in their power because of fear of approval. And so when you know yourself, it is like having a superpower because you’re going to go out there. You’re going to market yourself in a way that feels true to you. You’re not going to care. And the people are going to take notice. You just become so powerful when you don’t put up with any crap. And this is especially true. Even as an adult, I just find this interesting. There are people that still care what their parents think about them. And so when you can break that illusion of needing approval, you’re absolutely powerful. It just goes across the board, every area of your life. When you know yourself, that is your superpower.

Brett Dupree:

We are coming to the end of our time together. One thing I like to ask I guess, is to do a one minute of motivation. You can imagine, you can imagine this as if you have a time machine going back to your eight year old self and you want to convey everything. You need to live a happy and joyful life, but unfortunately you only have a minute until you’re pop back into the future. Or you can think of it as condensing your entire life’s mission purpose into a minute. So are you ready?

Heather Picken:

Let’s go start. I want to talk about failure and vision and why these are important concepts to master. The only way you’re going to move forward is to look at failure as data. First, you must analyze what went wrong and why have reflective awareness. When you can do this, you free yourself from that mental prison of your mind. You, you also give yourself permission to jump to the next level in your consciousness and in your business. That next level gives you the insight, wisdom, and resilience to align with solutions and receive bigger opportunities. There’s no success without failure. And the secret to being successful is being both flexible and resilient. Having a crystal clear vision will help you through the toughest times. You will attract the right people and resources like magic. Also having a vision that is of service will redirect your fear. And so it’s really wise to have a vision that inspires you, be in the flow with your vision. And as you do this, the time and space becomes non-existent and you will see that the journey and the destination become one.

Brett Dupree:

Awesome. Thank you so much for being on my podcast. I very much enjoyed listening to your story of how you started out with a poor mindset thinking that you’re stupid because you’re dyslexia and also having anorexia, which I’m sure it was very tough and hard, but you’re able to turn that around into bodybuilding and exercise and using the power of visualization change, not only your body, but your mind to the point where you’re able to turn your life around truly Excel. And then to turn that around, to even help more people do the same to get out of their own way is very inspiring. So thank you so much for everything you do. And thank you so much for being on my podcast.

Heather Picken:

Thank you so much,

Brett Dupree:

May your day be special.

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