This is the most personal blog that I have ever written. It is a story that I call the “Greatest Day of My Life.” The greatest day of my life has similarities to the 1958 NFL Championship game, which is known as the Greatest Game Ever Played. Since then I have had better days, this is just the first day that got me on my current path.
I am not going to go into the specifics of the parties involved in this story. Growing up I was very afraid and trapped in a prison of fear. In high school, I never had a girlfriend or close relationship with a female. I never felt like I was close to anyone. I felt all alone in a crowd. To deal with the actions that happened in my past, I created a huge wall and became emotionless. I judged whether or not I loved someone by if they could hurt me. I felt only two could. There was no chance I was going to let anyone in.
The worst part about the problems I had was that there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I had no idea how to fix them and did not believe they were fixable. They were someone else’s fault. It was other people’s actions that made it so I never became close to anyone. I spent my time blaming someone else for my problems.
One day in college, I watched a movie that changed my life. That movie is Kingpin. Made by the Farrelly brothers, Kingpin is about a pro bowler played by Woody Harrelson who gets screwed by another pro bowler played by Bill Murray. After wasting his life away, Woody Harrelson’s character finds an Amish prodigy played by Randy Quaid to take to the bowling championships to win $500,000. This is not exactly the movie that normally changes a person’s life. It wasn’t the first time I saw this movie. The first time I saw it, I thought it was funny. A few days later, I was talking to one of my best friends about how awesome the movie is and he mentioned the fact that the movie was very uplifting. This confused me. Then he explained how Woody’s character took responsibility for his life at the end of the movie. This stuck with me. A few months later, I bought the movie on VHS and I watched it with this in mind. I was shocked; he was right. Then I looked within. The next thing I remember clearly is being on my hands and knees. I was rocked to my core. It almost felt like I was calling out to something and there was an explosion in my brain.
I later learned this is called a satori. It was a flash of sudden awareness. In one moment everything was clear to me. It was my fault. The prison that I was trapped in was my own creation. The choices I made as a child made me the way I was at the time. It was not what anyone did to me. I did not have direct control over certain events in my life. I had direct control over how I reacted to them. In one moment, I went from depression to hopefulness.
What this means to me now
Taking complete responsibility for my life made it so I could change it. If the problem is someone else’s, then I would have to fix that person to be able to move on in my life. Worse, I would have to go back to the past and change it. With it being impossible to travel back in time I would be stuck with my fears. As I learned from Tony Robbins, taking responsibility for my life gave me response ability.Having the ability to respond to my fears and areas where I was stuck, gives me an ability to change them and grow beyond them. I could never move forward if I stayed in a place of blame. Taking responsibility for my state of happiness is the basis for all my personal growth. With taking responsibility for who I am, I would not be in the position that I am today.
When you take responsibility for your life you can do anything you want. No one can make you feel anything. You make the choices. Just like a baby who learns how to move their arms and legs, you can learn how to choose what to feel about any given situation. Taking responsibility in your life makes it so you are no longer trapped in the illusion that this person has to change for you to feel better. No one will ever change for you.
The freedom you will feel from taking responsibility for your life will be outstanding. It is like letting go of a big weight. Then you can do something about the beliefs that are keeping you stuck, if you choose. You will have hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Where there is hope, there is the possibility for joy.
Hiring a life coach is a way of taking responsibility for your success. Working with me will keep you on task and reach your goals faster than you can on your own. Together we will work on getting you out of the blame game and moving to a life of joy and living the life you want to live. You will wake up in the morning being happy to be alive.
Homework of the Week
Just imagine that you are responsible for how you feel. The events in your life do not have any hold on you. Imagine the freedom of letting go of all of the stories that keep you from where you want to be. Just imagine what it would be like if you didn’t even know the meaning of the word victim. You are the creator of your own reality. Do this for a few minutes every night before you go to sleep.
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