Today’s guest is Kirstan O’Donavan is the owner of Top Results Coaching. She works is a personal and business coach. She has a similar message with mine so I have agreed to share her message with my readers.
Here are ten tips and good habits that you can incorporate into your days to make them more
positive, feel better and see better results….
Focus on solutions; not problems. If something is going wrong in your life, it is normal for most people to focus on the problem and how bad it is. Normally you find yourself asking how this can happen to you, why this is happening, I have such bad luck, etc, and you wallow in your problem. You run this situation over and over in your mind like a video on auto-replay, again and again – and does it ever help?
I am inclined to think it doesn’t. Feelings associated with these thoughts also make us feel
worse – so if you combine all of that together, you can imagine how terrible you will feel. So
why not focus on the solution? You can’t do anything about the problem –as I prefer to say, the
challenge – so redirect all your energy to the solution. Stop focusing on the problem, the bad,
try to focus on what you are going to do now. You can´t change what has happened so why
give more energy to the negative. Look forward and find the path that will take you out of your
Look for the lesson & gift in every situation. Whenever something good happens,
it is easy for us to see the lesson or the gift in the situation, or not even think about it. But
when something bad happens to us, we can only see the bad. The experience is actually only
feedback that what you are doing isn´t working and you have to readjust your course. So why
not look for the opportunity? We normally see the opportunity months later…have you ever
heard yourself saying ¨now I know why that happened¨ or ¨if that hadn´t happened, I wouldn’t
be here¨. Train your mind to be positive and look for the lesson in every experience, good or
Question your thoughts. Your thoughts and beliefs are made up of all your experiences,
relationships with family, friends and partners, everything you have seen and heard. They are
not facts about the world. If your thoughts are not serving you, this is just and injustice towards
yourself. Be aware of your thoughts, change the negative thought patterns, and the results will
be priceless. Ask yourself different questions – instead of thinking, I don´t have money, I can
never afford that, ask yourself “how can I find a way to afford that?” Become conscious of the
thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes that are creating your world.
Take responsibility for them and choose those that serve you. Take control of your thoughts or
they will control you.
Try to think towards joy and happiness. Being positive really does have a big effect on
your day-to-day life. You will attract positive experiences, your feelings will be more positive and
you will feel better. Nothing good comes from negative thinking. Start anew; choose to believe
that anything is possible.
Take responsibility. Take responsibility for your actions and behavior. Most of us are
inclined to never look at ourselves, but always at other people, pointing fingers, “he did this
and she said that…” You need to take responsibility for who you are, not the way anybody else
is. Everyday when you go to bed, ask yourself if there was anything about my behavior today
that I want to change tomorrow. Everything starts with awareness; and remember that the way
you react will always affect the way the other person will react to you each and every time. The
more you take responsibility for your life, the more you will be able to change it. Responsibility is
freedom and empowerment.
Make peace with yourself. Love yourself. If you don’t, how can anyone love you? You are
an accumulation of the past – this is not who you truly are forever. If you have negative habits
you want to change, find that strength and make the change. Intention and awareness are the
first step. Nobody is perfect, ever, so don’t hold ideas that you need to match up to this person
or that. We all possess the same qualities, perhaps in different quantities. Start respecting
yourself and you will feel a big shift in your daily emotions and feelings. The more you love and
accept yourself, the less you will judge others. We all make mistakes. Seek to forgive, love and
Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness of others and yourself can be said as the
ultimate mind-body-soul detox. It frees you from negative and damaging emotions and it sets
you free from draining attachments. It can also set you free from feelings of guilt, shame or
undeserving which block you from happiness and success. In forgiving another you are also
forgiving yourself. It is an immensely powerful and the most gracious gift you can give yourself
and others. Many people don´t speak to loved ones for years because they can´t forgive; who is
the real loser there?
Nourish and energize your body. For most of us, the same excuse is often heard; “I
don’t have time to eat well or to exercise”, “I don´t have enough time to cook”. The importance
of health is not fully understood until it is too late, until we have a life-threatening disease or
condition. Just by eating a little healthier every day, you will wake up with more energy, you will
feel more vibrant, alive and willing to do things, more revitalized and ready to take on the world.
Your body is your most precious gift. Many people are overweight, saying that they don´t have
time to exercise. Going to gym is not the only form of exercise. I have many techniques you
can use to exercise at home – while watching tv, while working, while travelling. There are no
excuses, and the benefits are immeasurable. Also, ensure you sleep enough; you will not feel
good if you are tired, you will most probably feel irritable, unhappy, with no energy and feeling
Identify your passion and follow it. We all have a passion. Some people say “I wish I
had a passion” or “other people have a passion but not me”. This is not true, we all do. Some
of us just do not know what it is but taken through a series of exercises, it soon appears and
literally lights you up. If you cannot live from your passion, try at least to incorporate it once a
week in your life. Painting, riding, going for walks in nature… whatever it is. If you really don´t
know, a professional can help you to get clear on your passions.
Make a list of things you want to do in life. Write down the things you would like to do
in your life before you die. It does not have to be extreme, lets say wanting to go to the moon for
example, but things you would love to do but don´t make time for. Try to do at least one of these
things a month or even every few months. By doing things that we love, we feel more alive,
vibrant and we enjoy life much more.
Live in the present. Most of the time our thoughts are either in the past or in the future. Past
thoughts are normally associate with feelings of regret, shame and frustration. Thoughts in the
future are related to feelings of anxiety, apprehension or stress. Try to bring yourself into the
present, enjoy each moment. Trust and surrender to life unfolding. The famous saying says it
all… Past is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called present.
Focus on gratitude. When you wake up or go to sleep, even when you feel bad, remind
yourself of all your blessings. Just having two legs, eyes and a healthy body are reasons to be
grateful. Feeling grateful puts you into a state of happiness that automatically lifts your soul.
Being grateful opens your heart and the more you value and appreciate something, the more
there will be to value and appreciate.