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Joy Increasing Action Tip #1:

Music is an awesome motivator. Even if music isn’t one of your major loves, there is nothing that can pump you up more than the right song. I know for myself, I would never say one of my main loves is music. However there are songs that bring me into a good mood.

When you are feeling blue, crank out a song and you will feel awesome again. The right song just touches your emotions and kicks it into high gear. Do not underestimate the power of a good song.

One of my favorite songs to pump me up is, “You’re the Best” by Joe Esposito from the Karate Kid Soundtrack. One of the cheesiest songs I have ever heard, however how can you not listen to this song and get pumped up? HOW CAN YOU NOT!? Try it, I dare you. You will listen to this song and then run a marathon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jYcW1nEsGk

http://youtu.be/3jYcW1nEsGk

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Continue reading »]]> Spiritual Life Coach Tip: Not caring what people think about you

I was sitting outside of a Starbucks enjoying life when a man walks past me and asks me, “How is it going wild man?” I thought nothing of this. My hair is long and it can look wild. I remember a child laughing once and telling her father that my hair looked silly. It was nice that my hair could bring enjoyment to a child.

Then his friends passed by and told me, “He had no right to call you that.” Then his other friend started to give him a stern lecture for saying that to me. I was very confused. I had no idea what he told me was such an insult.

This incident reminded me that true freedom is the ability for people to tell you anything and for it not to affect you. You might be telling me right now in your head that not being affected by what people say to you is easier said than done. I am here to tell you that it is just as easy said as it is done. Not being affected is all about your belief and the story that you are willing to tell yourself.

When this stranger called me a wild man, I did not make a story on how he was insulting me. That is why it was not an insult. To be insulted I would have to go into my brain and use my past experiences or just use this one and decide that it is an insult. In the previous sentence is the secret to not letting people bother you. I have to go into MY brain and look at MY past experiences or use MY interpretation of the current experience. How I react to that incident was all about me. It had nothing to do with what the man said. He just said a bunch of words. The words are given meaning by ME.

If you are in any incident, then you are the one who creates the meaning for the interaction. It is all about you. You are the one who decides you are insulted. In fact, it is impossible for someone to insult you. You can only insult yourself. They are just saying words, it is you who are taking them personal and using them as an insult.

Just like any new idea, living this way takes practice. It is much easier to let a stranger’s words bounce off than it is someone you care about. If you take the life philosophy that every word is your interpretation of the word you will feel a great weight lift off of your body. You will realize that all this time you have been living in a self created prison of insult. You have the key this entire time to leave and live a much more joyful life.

My Inner Core Intention:

I am living true freedom as love flows through me with every interaction.

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Writing affirmations are a great way to facilitate change in your life. Louise Hay, author of You can Heal your Life and publisher of Hay House have been teaching about affirmations for years. An affirmation is a statement what you want to believe about yourself. The affirmation process is either writing or telling yourself your affirmation multiple times everyday. Louise Hay suggests saying them into a mirror. The statement can be long, however most people tell you to keep them short and sweet.

The idea behind affirmations is that you have beliefs about yourself and beliefs are a collection of thoughts that you think everyday. If you tell your affirmation everyday you will be inserting the new, more positive belief into your daily routine. With your new thoughts you will be building new and more powerful beliefs. At first when you say your affirmations it will be hard, since you do not believe them. The more you say your affirmation the easier it will be to say because you will believe it more and more.

If you were to search the term, “Affirmations do not work” you will notice there are many articles and even scientific studies on problems with the affirmation. Affirmation process described above seem to work better on subjects that you already, at least a little, believe. If do not believe your affirmation there can be a negative effect if you try that process. Every time you say your affirmation and you feel negative emotions from it, you may be doing more harm than good.

All is not lost. If you enjoy the affirmation tactic, I am here to give you some tips that can make your affirmations work for you.

1. Start small. Start your affirmations small. You do not have to go from being super shy to being the life of the party. Find the next logical step from where you are currently are in the area you would like to change. You can go from being shy to creating an affirmation that you smile at strangers. As long as it is a stretch you will grow from your new belief.
2. Soften them up. If you do not believe your love yourself, writing an intention that you do love yourself can get you to have your brain tell you every time you speak your intention, “NO!” Then release negative chemicals that make you feel bad. Do not fret, you can soften up your intentions. Add, “I’m open to” or “Wouldn’t it be nice if,” to your intentions to soften them up. It is much easier to believe, “I’m open to loving myself.” or “Wouldn’t it be nice if I loved myself.” After you get to the point where you believe you are open to or that it would be nice if, then you can use your original intention of loving yourself. You can even stack them if just one isn’t enough, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I was open to loving myself,” or “I’m open to being open to loving myself.”
3. Bridge your affirmation. You can also start with an affirmation that you already believe about yourself. Telling yourself something you believe will help bridge your old positive belief with your new positive belief.
4. Make them rhyme or humorous. Your brain loves humor and rhyming. There is a reason that poetry and comedy has survived for so many years. If you can write your affirmation so you laugh when you read it or rhyme it will be much more effective. “As I was created from above, my heart is filled with self love.”
5. Get in a good mood before saying them. Do not rely on the affirmation to change your mood. Start already in a good mood. Dance, sing a song, think back to positive memories, or any other way to get yourself in a good mood. When you do that then the affirmations will be a part of your good mood instead of using them to create them. They will become beliefs much quicker. We learn better in good moods than bad.
6. Turn it into a game. You also love games. Games are fun. Saying affirmations can be boring. Turn it into a game some how. Make some affirmations and number them and roll a dice to see which affirmation you are saying or you can think of a better game.
7. Write all the ways the affirmation is already true. Before writing your affirmation first think about all the ways your affirmation is already true and then write them down before you write your affirmation. If you are writing an affirmation for health, write down all the ways that you are healthy before you write your affirmation.
8. Appreciate your life. Get into the feeling of appreciation by writing down five to ten things you appreciate about your life before you write or say your intentions. Getting into that feeling will energize your intentions.
9. Create a ritual. Another thing you enjoy is rituals. Create a affirmation shrine where you light some incense, and do a little meditation before hand or after you write your intentions burn them in the sacred fire(safely).
10. Use EFT. EFT or emotional freedom technique is really good for helping to dissipate your negative emotions. Emotional freedom technique is based on Chinese Acupuncture points. Tapping on the points that you can find on this link, while saying your affirmation will cause those negative emotions to not be a problem.

Now you have ten ways you can get the most out of your affirmations. Using just one of these tips with your affirmation will allow you to energize your ability to change your beliefs. When you change your thoughts you will change your life.

What is the current affirmation that you are using right now to change your life?

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Continue reading »]]> I am always excited when I find a practice that I enjoy using for myself. When I am living with more joy, everything in my life is just working out for the better. For the last two weeks I have been using the ABC game explained below by Esther Hicks who is channeling Abraham. Esther Hicks whose newest book is, Money and the Law of Attraction.

This game has been fantastic for me. I have been using this game every night before I go to sleep. What I like to do is to think of a word, I create a sentence that uses that word in a positive sense. Sometimes while doing this my mind will go off onto a tangent. When I do I just pick up right back where I left off and keep on going.

I have noticed when I do this I am getting better sleep at night and my dreams have been really positive. I love assigning fun homework assignments to my clients and I am really looking forward to assigning this one to see how much they like it.

Here is an example of me playing the game.

Wow what a feeling doing that game was during the day. I might be doing it more now. That was so much fun. I would love to see your video of you doing the ABC game.

I highly recommend you try this game out for a couple of weeks. Come back and comment on what it has done for you.

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Here is an audio that is a rough draft of a CD project I am working on. Tell me what you think. Also what did you learn from this audio?

Nip Worry in the Bud

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Continue reading »]]> As I said in my previous blog, I was not the happiest child. To be completely honest, I still have some abandonment issues. In the last five years, I have done a lot of work to come to terms with my fear of abandonment. My abandonment issues have been the area of my life where I have done the most work. At times, working on my abandonment issues has been very frustrating. It is especially hard when I worked on an issue over and over again only to have it triggered again. In these cases, I created a contract of disappointment.

A contract of disappointment is when I plan to become disappointed. There are times when I created rules and if those rules were violated then I would become upset. It was a written contract that obligated me to become upset when something of my choosing happens.

I did a lot of work to actually believe that people are capable of liking me, that I am a lovable person and to trust people to not abandon me and that they are not out to hurt me. I worked especially at deserving love and finding deserving people that enjoy my company. Everything I have mentioned in my blog has been used on this issue. Look at my top 15 placebos of the decade to get a good idea of what I have used to tear up my contract of disappointment.

My abandonment issues became a lot less frustrating when I stopped beating myself up for taking so long to correct them. I realized that I am going as fast I should be. I tore up that contract of disappointment and I am seeing a lot of improvements. The contract I created stipulated that I would be an ideal version of myself by an ideal time and if I miss that time then I would be upset. I made a plan to feel bad. Tearing up this contract, relaxing and allowing myself to go as fast as I am actually allows me to go faster. Every time I would get upset I would take a step back. Reducing the amounts of steps back increases the amount of steps forward I can go. I noticed a huge change in myself when I realized this.

Another contract of disappointment is when something that I “worked on” comes up again. This contract was when I decided that I was “done” with a trigger and if that trigger came up again, I would be upset. Sometimes it has taken me hours or even days to figure out what is going on. When I had a girlfriend two years ago, I didn’t notice how I was triggered until a week after I broke up with her. There is nothing better for bringing up abandonment issues than getting into a serious relationship. It is almost a constant wave of old insecurities that come up for me that I have the opportunity to work with. Yes; the opportunity to work with. Looking at these relapses as opportunity to work with allows me forgive myself when they happen again. Like I said in my blog, give up the illusion of being done, I will never be completely over my abandonment issues. However, I can use them as opportunities to deepen my practice and clean out some past hurts. Using the work, NLP, EFT, Sedona Method, and meditations, I can make the use of the material real time events where the trigger would happen and then I would do something. Even if the current relationship ends up being ended due to the triggers, it does not mean I have to carry them over to the next relationship.

Break the contract of disappointment! There is no reason to not tear up the contract. Relax and realize that things happen. You have many choices when things happen. Choosing to be upset about them for a long period of time will not help you become a happy person. Choosing to work with them and become a better person from them is the way to go.

Homework of the Week

Examine your life and notice where you have created contracts of disappointment. Write them down on a piece of paper and tear it up.

Happy Note

I have not been blogging lately because I have been writing a book. Look for 7 Steps to Writing Joyous Intentions in June. It will be a perfect tool for you to practice being happy.

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Many of my friends have pointed out how happy I am. Co-workers have mentioned that I am just a naturally happy person. This was not always the case. Growing up, I was not a happy camper. I may have been depressed although I never saw my doctor to be diagnosed as depressed. I do know that I felt alone, totally alone. I felt alone even when I was surrounded by friends and family. I thought that anyone who loved me could stop at a second, so it was better idea to not get close to anyone. Humans are social creatures, so you can imagine how lonely that existence was for me. I am so happy now because, at the age of 26, I made the decision to handle that part of my life. I was no longer going to live in a prison of my own fear. I made the decision to to transform my life into a happy one.

It wasn’t easy at first. Everything I tried seemed not to work. When I made affirmations, I would have a “no” in my mind. Sometimes I would feel worse after I tried to do such things like affirmations. My first step was starting to love myself. Telling myself, “I love you,” was not easy at first. I would look in the mirror every morning and just say, “I love you.” As I continued at it, I was able to make some headway. At first, I would feel a huge, “NO!” I did not like this huge, “NO!”, however I was determined to love myself. Eventually the huge “NO” became a small “no.” Then it went from small “no” to “maybe”, “maybe” to “hopefully”, “hopefully” to “a little”, and finally, “a little” to “a lot”. Now when I look in the mirror and say, “I love you” I feel no resistance.

The mistake people make when they are working on themselves is they believe they should be good at it from the beginning. Just like many things in this world, you

need to practice to become good at it. Some might be able to look in the mirror and say “I love you” and shift overnight; however a majority of us will have to work on it. Just like someone can go to a piano and after a week of playing sound like a super star, another person will only be able to play the first three notes of chopsticks.

You are training your brain to change its thinking. This takes time for some of us. Continue to practice focusing on the good things in your life and yo

u will start to notice those good things and feel happier. You will train your brain to think different and more positive thoughts and release different chemicals. Remember, it is your brain. It is your chemical factory and you can choose many of the chemicals the brain releases. Do not give up on your practice because you are not good at it when you start. Always relax and know that everything is going as fast as it should. If you make a one degree shift a day then in 180 days you will make a complete turn.

Homework of the Week

Look in the mirror and say, “I love you.”

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Continue reading »]]> In the last week of January a majority of Americans either quit or start losing motivation to fulfilling their New Year’s resolutions. When a New Year arrives, people love to make statements how this year is going to be different. This year is going to be the good one. Good bye 2009. Hello 2010! It is a new beginning where they will become a new person who reaches their goals.

Unfortunately, many people end up making the same resolutions each year. Every year they are going to lose weight, get a new job, join a gym, eat healthier, go out more, make more friends and the many other resolutions people make to change their lives.

Fortunately for you, you are not going to be one of them. You are doing something different this year. One of my favorite quotes is from Albert Einstein, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” So what are you doing to do different this year to make your dreams come true?

Here are some suggestions

1. Write down your goals: Writing down goals increases the chances that they will become reality. To help alleviate any overwhelming feelings, write down smaller goals for your New Year resolutions. Smaller monthly goals are easier to accomplish. They are great for getting you back on track every month. Be sure to celebrate your wins.
2. Get an Accountabilibuddy: Find a friend that will hold you accountable. Make sure this friend is willing to call you on your excuses. Be willing to be able to accept it when they are being a little hard on you if you decide to slack. Also share in each other victories.
3. Take a class: You can find classes at your local schools that can help you reach your goals. One of the ways I made sure I was going to change one year was by taking three classes a month. I took a dance class once every two weeks, went to a group at www.meetup.com and then I would find a random class at an alternative school or community college. I was a shy man and taking a dance class was a fun way to grow as a person
4. Join or create a group: Like with the Accountabilibuddy, there is a certain power in belonging to a group. Surrounding yourself with people who have similar goals is a great way to keep yourself on track. www.meetup.com is a great way to find groups of people who are committed to create change in their lives.
5. Join an intention circle: Writing intentions in a group is a great way to create what you want in your new life with lasting change. It captures the power of people joining with the power of intentions. http://www.intenders.com/ is a great place to find what an intention circle is, how to start one and where to find one. It helps to write out your intentions with joy. Watch for my book coming in 2010 that will teach you how to write intentions in a joyful manifesting way.
6. Go to a workshop: Workshops are a great way to energize yourself and learn tools to create the life you want in a short period of time. The workshops I have taken have been a great help to me. Remember to take responsibility for your life and not spend more than you have on workshops as the workshop high can be very addicting. Read my blog on being your own guru. Remember that you are doing all of the work and they are just showing you a way.
7. Do some resistance breaking services: Resistance is inside of our psyche or energy and it gets in our way of moving towards what we want. NLP, EFT, therapy, and the Work are great resistance breaking training. NLP is good for programming the mind to get what you want. I even used some of the feelings generated in the workshops in my NLP feeling spinning work. EFT works on the energy body and is surprisingly simple, easy and effective. It helped me break through the resistance I had to deserving. I went from not liking hugs to a hug loving fool. Therapy is a good way to heal the past wounds of the mind. I haven’t done therapy, however I have heard good things from people who have. The Work is a wonderful training for the brain to allow you to give up a part of your story that you feel is holding you back.
8. Hire a professional: Personal trainers are great ways to keep motivated and learn how to work out. Life coaches are amazing at helping you reach your goals and keeping you on track. They will celebrate your wins, challenge you to grow, help you uncover the resistance you have to where you want to go, and be a catalyst to help create amazing change in your life.

Those are just eight suggestions that will make sure you will have the greatest 2010 ever! There are many other ways to do so. If you know one, make a comment. Also comment on what you are going to do differently this year to make your 2010 the best 2010 ever.

I have faith in you! You are going to have a great 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, …

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