How I deal with trauma with my life coaching clients is very serious. Of course the first thing I tell them is to seek professional help as I am not a psychotherapist.
The next thing I give them is a suggestion. A suggestion to ask them what is missing from the trauma. What has caused the hole that the trauma has left. Then give it away. The more you give, the more you get and as you give the desire from that trauma, you will fill the hole with something much better than cake. Life is wonderful. The more you give the more you get.
As I sit here writing this, I ask myself a question. Does disappointment mean I need to feel bad?
I do not think so. Really think about it. Disappointment is what happens when something you desire does not work out the way you want it to.
However I have taught and learned that the idea is to break the contract of disappointment. I am beginning to rethink that idea. Break the pattern of disappointment. It is O.K. to be disappointed. It is O.K. to have great plans and then wish they worked out better than they did. It is when disappointment stops you is what matters.
You might have a pattern. First you have a dream, then you do an action, then the action does not work as you want, then you feel bad. How about removing the last part? Mostly because going for it is the most important thing. Building on what you had before. You always have what you have learned, you always have what you have gained. The idea that you need to feel bad because things didn’t work out is O.K. Just do not dwell on the bad feelings. Concentrate on the joyous feelings of what it means to move forward. Moving forward is important.
In life a lot of the things you do is not going to work out how you want them to. The important part about it is to not make a huge deal out of it and learn from it. Keep on moving forward and feel excellent. Life is short. Life is long. Life is too short to not go for your dreams. Life is too long to dwell on the pains of the past. Keep on moving forward.