Relationships have taught me a lot about myself. The desire for a relationship with a wonderful woman was my spark to discover the key to happiness. I naturally at first thought it would be about getting a relationship. During my lessons, I discovered the key to living a life of love.
Imagine my surprise when one of the most important things I have ever learned was displayed on a TV show. I was watching Gravity Falls, currently, my favorite show on television and the main star said something that was one of
the greatest things I believe any adult, let alone a child can learn.
“You cannot force someone to love you. The best you can do is become someone worthy of loving.”
Learning that set me free. I let go of my anger towards women for not seeing the wonderful person I was and worked on actually becoming a wonderful person they would like.
Which is the first key to living a Joyous Expansive life. Taking responsibility. When you blame others, they have to change for you to heal. When you take responsibility you have the response-ability to make the changes needed to move forward in your life.
Take some time to look within. Even if you are in a relationship, how much responsibility of your happiness do you put on other people. Take responsibility for your joy and do the work necessary. Believe me, it is all worth it.
I am here to tell you a secret. Something that most personal development gurus will not tell you. Your passion is too big for you.
I know, because mine is too big for me. To explain to someone who asks what it is like to have a passion, it is like having a huge weight that is constantly on me. One that I can let go, however when I do I feel terrible. To not go for my passion feels like I am letting down everything. I am letting down the world, spirit and most importantly myself. However carrying this passion feels like a huge weight.
Every action it takes to do this has been outside of my comfort zone. From the simple things like creating a website to writing a book to even just telling someone what I do at some point in my life has been soul crushing. If you remember the video I did about how I got back up, you had a taste of what this lifestyle has done to me.
The way I know it is my passion and my love is that I cannot quit. There is nothing that brings me more joy than making a video and putting it on Youtube. I do not care if it only gets 5 views, I love doing it and it brings me great joy to think that one of those views might be life changing. There is nothing more satisfying in life than coaching a client and helping them reach their full potential. It feels so good. It doesn’t matter that every aspect of getting clients from networking to working on booking events is the opposite of anything I wanted to do growing up as all I want to do is hide. Which is weird because I love speaking in front of people. At one point in my life, I would have been voted least likely to speak in front of a crowd in high school.
Every aspect of my being I had to grow. That is what it means to live your passion. As you are right now, it is too big for you. However, the beauty of being human is the fact that you can grow. You can grow into your passion. You know it is your passion when there is nothing you can do but grow into it.
I imagine it like a container. The container is your current boundaries and it is filling in with water. The water represents your confidence and what you can do. When it gets the point where you feel comfortable, it is the next part of your passion, and then magically the container explodes in size. Then you look at all the water you need to fill up and it can feel daunting. Especially since you just thought you were close. Now it looks like what you need to do is way out of your comfort zone.
This is an example of what the coaching circle calls the “breakdown and breakthrough.” As a coach, there is almost nothing more beautiful than when a client starts going through a breakdown. Things in life seem to go wrong, there is so much overwhelm and it is just like the rug got slipped out from under you.
I totally understand that feeling. At that point it feels like living the life and job of your dreams seems so out of reach. I understand that. There are so many times in my career that I have felt that way. There will be more times in the future where I will feel that way. It is a constant growing experience. It doesn’t matter when I get to my dream of selling out stadiums for people to experience the joy that I present, there will be a time where my container will increase and then there is something even bigger for me to do with my passion.
Luckily you do not have to do it alone. In fact, only a fool even tries to do it alone. No person who has lived their passion has done it on their own. They had a mentor, coach or teacher help them through the rough times.
The world is waiting for you. Go for it. Do not let the fact that you feel overwhelmed by the fact your passion is too big to stop you.
If you are interested in seeing if I am a person who can help you reach your passions with more joy and ease, check out JoyousExpansion.com and fill out the form to set up a conversation on how I can help you through your breakdown.