Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript – Kayah Alexandra – Dancing Through Adversity

[00:00:00.170] – Brett Dupree

Hello, Kayah, and welcome to my podcast.

[00:00:02.600] – Kayah Alexander

Hi. Thank you for having me.

[00:00:04.320] – Brett Dupree

Can you give the listeners a little explanation of who you are?

[00:00:07.710] – Kayah Alexander

Yes, my name is Kayah. I’m originally from Sacramento, California. I currently live in Dallas. I am a performing artist. I’ve danced in a modern dance company here in Dallas. I’m a commercial actress. I’m also a fitness instructor for group fitness and cycling and pilates. Do a little bit of everything. And I love all of that. What I do.

[00:00:26.910] – Brett Dupree

So did you always like dance growing up?

[00:00:29.040] – Kayah Alexander

Actually, I started dancing pretty late. Aside from in-home concerts or performances that my best friend and I would put on in the living room to Britney Spears or Sync or 3LW. I didn’t have any formal training or exposure to dance until my junior year of high school. And I started dancing on the dance team and we did a lot of hip hop, very basic technical movement. But I loved what I was learning and I loved being able to perform it in front of my peers. So I fell in love with the outlet and carried it into the career choice. I ended up majoring in dance in college. I transitioned into a professional dance career right after school, and I’ve been here since.

[00:01:08.430] – Brett Dupree

Oh, wow.

[00:01:09.160] – Kayah Alexander

Yeah.

[00:01:10.080] – Brett Dupree

I hear the world of dance like I know nothing about it other than watching so easy dance.

[00:01:15.600] – Kayah Alexander

Of course. Of course.

[00:01:17.700] – Brett Dupree

I hear it’s very competitive.

[00:01:19.520] – Kayah Alexander

Definitely. I think a lot of people don’t realize how many sectors of the dance world there are. What you see on So You Think You Can Dance is a lot of commercial dance. A lot of those dancers come from backgrounds in gymnastics or competition. They all cross and overlap in different ways. But there’s also the concert world of dance where you see a lot of trained ballet, modern and contemporary dancers joining companies like your regular nine to five job.

[00:01:47.430] – Kayah Alexander

They go into the studio every single day. And usually, companies only have spots depending on the size of the company. The company I worked for typically had a professional company of 12 and it’s a nationally, internationally known company, so it’s pretty competitive to get a spot. But the people that they end up hiring are usually either fit for the company.

[00:02:08.750] – Brett Dupree

Dance is kind of a different major in life. So you were your family really into your idea of going into the dance instead of, I don’t know, becoming a lawyer or a doctor?

[00:02:19.020] – Kayah Alexander

Yes, both of my parents were very supportive. My mom, you know, was my best friend growing up, and she was supportive of everything that I showed a passion for. I was interested in a lot of things and I had a lot of friends that did different stuff. Anything that I demonstrated passion and interest, enough interest to actually put in work or come forward and ask her, you know, Mom, can I do this? Can I take this class?

[00:02:45.300] – Kayah Alexander

Can I go to this audition? She was super supportive. And when I fell in love with my ended up my alma mater, Howard University in Washington, D.C., I was literally on the other side of the country. It was expensive. And of all things, I wanted to study dance because I had fell in love with it. Towards the end of high school and my mom, she was supportive and said, all right, let’s start working on these scholarship applications. From both sides of my family, they’ve always supported me in being consistent with what I was interested in. So they’ve had faith in me.

[00:03:18.390] – Brett Dupree

What are some of the biggest barriers in going through dance career.

[00:03:22.920] – Kayah Alexander

Not being the version of yourself that you think you’re supposed to be for? Maybe what is your dream job? As you can imagine, the dancers, especially in the professional world. There’s always this conversation, internal and external conversation of body consciousness. While some companies may impose that a little bit more than others. There’s always the factor of being in front of a mirror all day long and judging yourself in order to get better. But the judgment definitely takes a toll on you mentally. You know, working on technique and flexibility and range and how your body can help you get across a message that’s burning inside of you, whether it’s coming from your own heart or a choreographer is giving you a task to tell a story.

[00:04:15.420] – Kayah Alexander

You know, you only get one body and it’s a huge task to transform every single time you’re cast in a ballet or a piece or a production when you literally only have that one vessel. And it’s never it seems like it’s never quite where you want it to be. But that’s what makes the work interesting.

[00:04:35.940] – Brett Dupree

Seems like you couldn’t go down a shame spiral during that.

[00:04:39.480] – Kayah Alexander

 Most definitely. I’ve never necessarily had any moment of doubt to the degree of no, I can’t do this. I’m not for this. But what I think is even worse is the spiral down of I’m never going to be enough. I can be here. I’m present. I’m showing up. And I’m working on. But all of my hard work might not be enough. My voice might not be enough for what the choreographer is demanding, my body might not be enough with the aesthetic that they want to portray.

[00:05:14.040] – Kayah Alexander

I think that’s definitely more dangerous than the more commonly circulated doubt. I just can’t do this. It’s scarier to know that you can do it, but you won’t be enough.

[00:05:24.510] – Brett Dupree

Was there an instance in your life where you’ve had that feeling and then you got over it?

[00:05:29.370] – Kayah Alexander

Yes. There’s been several. I think it might have been my first season in the company that I danced for. I had a choreographer come in and they were setting a contemporary ballet on the company. As you know, there were six men and six women. We were all dancing in the piece. I think one dancer was out because she was injured. But for the most part, we were all working this choreographer. I was in love with the way he moved.

[00:05:55.500] – Kayah Alexander

I was in love with the way he explained things, the way he went about portraying the aesthetic and the feeling and the look. He’d give these super intricate details and stories of, you know, this should feel like water cascading down the hill. And then it crashes in to, you know, dry soil and then it gets soaked up. That’s how this should feel. And he should turn like he was so descriptive and it was easy to get wrapped up in him.

[00:06:22.110] – Kayah Alexander

So he was great to work with. And it was a ballet that three sections in the middle section. The second section was a duet. And on the first day of working with the choreographer, he was pairing different people up just to see how people move together. And I got paired with one of the senior company members and he continued to work with us. And he was creating choreography. He was changing choreography. He was experimenting. And I and the senior company member whom I knew I’d been watching, perform for years before I got into the company, working with both of them at the same time.

[00:06:58.950] – Kayah Alexander

It was hard, but it was a dream come true. I was so excited to be present and be doing the work. And Monday went by and we layered on more and Tuesday went by. We learned more. And Wednesday we completed the ballet. We start cleaning it up. Thursday, everyone’s really got started getting into their characters and really dancing it full out and feeling all of the nooks and crannies and just exploring the work that we had. And Friday, the last days, always these showing.

[00:07:26.040] – Kayah Alexander

So we’ll have people from the marketing department come in. Sometimes the media will come in to preview the piece before it actually goes on stage, which will be several weeks later. We had probably about an hour and a half before the official showing and the choreographer took me aside and asked if I could speak with him in the hallway. And I was like, yes, of course. Took me into the hallway.

[00:07:45.450] – Kayah Alexander

And he explained to me that I just wasn’t going to be a fit for the duet that we had been working on throughout the week. And he gave me the assignment to switch out with one of the other women in the company and to learn her track. And I had about an hour and a half to do so before the showing. I wasn’t taken out of the piece. But this huge role that we had been working on all week long was just taken in the blink of an eye.

[00:08:16.410] – Kayah Alexander

And I didn’t understand why in the moment it hit me, but I was like, OK, I need to learn this other choreography that’s on stage less than half of the time and, you know, all of those kind of shallow surface things that you get wrapped up in. But it’s like, I just need to learn it. The showing is today I learned and I said, you know, maybe I just need to know both of these roles and trying to stay positive.

[00:08:36.960] – Kayah Alexander

Maybe I’ll get to still perform the duet. You know, we’ll see what happens in rehearsals coming forward. Rehearsals came forward and I never got to even revisit that duet. And I watched in rehearsal every time that section came up and I saw another person in that and I could feel everything that was being done, you know because I had danced it. When I tell you that just was a blow to my confidence because I didn’t understand why I had put in the work I was growing.

[00:09:06.420] – Kayah Alexander

I was finding new things within the art. And, you know, rehearsal week goes by really quickly. But I just didn’t understand why. I sat in a dark space mentally for a few months to come. If I’m being honest, I eventually started to shift when I saw other opportunities being presented that I wasn’t expecting in works, performing works that were that felt more like me. It didn’t feel like I was having to prove anything to anyone. I didn’t feel flustered or unworthy.

[00:09:41.910] – Kayah Alexander

I felt like certain roles were made for me. I didn’t realize that that wasn’t the first opportunity, the first opportunity. I was just excited. I was working with this person and that person in the spotlight was on me. And I got wrapped up in that. And I in those moments, I didn’t realize this doesn’t feel as good as it would. If you were to create it yourself or if it were a role that was truly built for you and it took time to sit in that dark space to even be able to realize there are things out there that are better than what you thought was going to be it for you. If that makes sense.

[00:10:15.040] – Brett Dupree

How do you get over that disappointment?

[00:10:16.730] – Kayah Alexander

 I think it’s important to look at the bigger picture or recognize there is a bigger picture and come to terms with the fact that everything happens for a reason, even if it seems like a disappointment. There is some kind of lesson in that, or there is a series of feelings that you’re supposed to learn from. Even if the overall hovering disappointment doesn’t feel good.

[00:10:40.250] – Brett Dupree

Tell me the story of your first audition

[00:10:42.830] – Kayah Alexander

for the company?

[00:10:43.850] – Brett Dupree

or the first big audition that you went through or the one that you first you really wanted.

[00:10:48.100] – Kayah Alexander

OK, my first audition that I was most excited about was the second time that I auditioned for the company. I was already in the second company, which is kind of like The Apprentice performance group. I set out my leotard and tights that I wanted to wear. I knew exactly what my makeup was going to look like for the day. I warmed up probably for like two and a half hours before the audition even started. And I was talking to myself in the mirror.

[00:11:17.240] – Kayah Alexander

Isa Ray style, you know, like girl, you got this! You’re the Ish! you’re ready to go! You’re prepared. You’re going to give everything you’ve got. You’re going to show them who you are. I got into the audition room and I still felt that way. But the voice wasn’t as loud. It became kind of a faint whisper. And I started looking around more and more. I tell you, when you don’t have your blinders on, especially in competitive spaces, you will be distracted.

[00:11:45.830] – Kayah Alexander

Although I know that I gave a good audition. I know it wasn’t my best. And I lost out on my best the moment I started looking around and subconsciously comparing myself to the other people in the room.

[00:11:57.320] – Brett Dupree

That’s a very good message to just do your best without trying to compare yourself to others.

[00:12:02.630] – Kayah Alexander

Yes, it’s a lifelong fight, too, no matter how old we get. It’s always a temptation to compare yourself to others.

[00:12:11.120] – Brett Dupree

Well, that’s one of the funny things about life, is even when we learn the lesson, that’s not always the last time we need to learn that lesson.

[00:12:19.520] – Kayah Alexander

Tell me about it. You’ll go through a whole nother situation for a second time and you’re like, wait a minute, this feels very familiar. Haven’t we already done this? Management, what’s going on?

[00:12:32.060] – Brett Dupree

According to your bio, you lost your mother in the same two weeks as you auditioned for your dream company. What was that process like?

[00:12:41.180] – Kayah Alexander

I had my senior dance concert and then my senior performance or dance concert, and my mother was actually supposed to be there for my rites of passage and final performance. At the conclusion of the weekend of the show, I knew she wasn’t gonna make it on Friday morning. She told me that she had to go into the hospital because she hadn’t been feeling well. So I had found out on that Friday. But on Monday is when I got a call and my father was living in the vicinity of my school.

[00:13:14.600] – Kayah Alexander

And we both got the call that we should make our way to Oakland, where my mom was as soon as possible. I got to Oakland. I got to be with her. The situation was 20 times worse than I would have ever imagined. I lost her. She transitioned in Oakland a couple of days after I got there. And then I flew back to D.C., graduated, went back to California to facilitate a memorial service for her, and then prepared to go down to Dallas for the internship that would lead into me getting into the organization, working with the second company and also teaching through their outreach program.

[00:13:53.300] – Kayah Alexander

Everything happened so fast. And with my nature, I know that things happening all the time, like moving quickly through things and always having something to get done can be a distraction for me. And almost like staying busy can be a coping mechanism. And it wasn’t until the audition was over. Graduation was said and done. I had brought, you know, my two big suitcases down to Dallas where I had a job yet or not. Everything was said and done.

[00:14:21.620] – Kayah Alexander

And I sat there and I just cried. But the beautiful thing about that hectic time and the thought that I continue to go back to is the fact that my mom was the first person that I expressed to that I was interested in dancing for Dallas Back Dance Theater. And although when I first expressed the interest, I was far away from being in this space physically and mentally to join that professional company in particular. She said, Oh, you will, you will, baby.

[00:14:55.160] – Kayah Alexander

And you will shine and you will shut it down. You will make an impact on the company, you just won’t perform there. Her saying that early on has always resonated with me and it’s something that I’ve carried with me. And it’s something that has pushed me through to strive for a career that perhaps some people would not have envisioned for me. But it took a lot of time being by myself and processing that transition. I didn’t feel like I lost her because I still feel like she’s with me.

[00:15:27.250] – Kayah Alexander

But not having access to someone physically and being able to call her, I still have her name and her phone number. It’s not her phone number anymore, but I still have her in my favorites on my phone. You know, several phones later. It’s been eight years since she transitioned. But still, I think back on everything that she’s said to me and everything that she’s written. And that is my go-to keep pushing if that makes sense.

[00:15:53.910] – Brett Dupree

It does. So her encouragement of you, is that what got you into wanting to do, youth mentorship?

[00:15:59.380] – Kayah Alexander

I think so. I didn’t realize when I started, but I think so. I’ve grown up hearing different versions of what people have experienced with the mother-daughter dynamic. But I know for me, my mother has been my best friend, but she’s also always been an authority figure, so I’ve always had the utmost respect for her. But having that respect balanced out with someone that you see as a confidant that you can trust and communicate with as a friend.

[00:16:32.620] – Kayah Alexander

I know that that relationship dynamic is rare. And I witnessed as I began teaching through outreach dance programs and working with students in an ensemble that I directed for five years, that a lot of these students, and particularly young women, don’t have that dynamic with anyone, let alone with their mothers being able to fill that space and create that space for young people to have friendship and guidance from the same person. I think that is something that’s unmatched. And I think that’s something that all young people should experience because I know that it’s shaped my life in an unimaginable way.

[00:17:11.380] – Brett Dupree

What do you like most about what you do?

[00:17:13.150] – Kayah Alexander

I love reactions. I love surprising myself with how good something can feel or how deeply I can feel something when I’m performing or when I’m sharing. I like to perform spoken word poetry as well. But I love experiencing other people’s reactions. You know how when we’re in a conversation and someone says something that kind of triggers you or you can relate to either your head starts nodding or you do. Yes. Or because you feel something close to what the other person is feeling. I love being able to experience that and witness it when it comes specifically to performance, when it comes to taking on other characters like acting, whether it’s for the theater or these commercials and for television projects.

[00:18:00.970] – Kayah Alexander

I love diving into another character that is outside of me because it requires me to strip everything that I’m already holding onto as myself and become another person. And I think that is the core of being empathetic to people. If you can separate how you already think, how you already feel, and try to even just for a second, imagine what it’s like to be in the other person’s skin. That is one of the most human things that we can do. And I enjoy being able to do that through the medium performance art.

[00:18:34.810] – Brett Dupree

So what is it like to work with you?

[00:18:37.220] – Kayah Alexander

Endless corny jokes. Endless corny jokes. I am probably the corniest person I know. So it’s working with me is what I’ve been, from what I’ve been told, is pretty easy and relaxing. I value professionalism, of course, and getting the work done in a timely matter. However, I think it’s always easier to get the work done when you feel comfortable with people and when you feel like you have space to be yourself. I use comic relief on a consistent basis. Working with me, there’s definitely going to be some laughs in the room.

[00:19:11.920] – Brett Dupree

You have a very eclectic. I like to be varied. You do a lot of things. Basically what I’m getting at. Do you have a story of one of the things that you did that really affected somebody and you felt changed their trajectory in their life?

[00:19:25.060] – Kayah Alexander

And there was I guess it wasn’t a one-time event, but I have mentored some of my students that I had the opportunity and joy of working with. Through the junior performing ensemble that I directed. And I know that Miss Kayah was goofy and always with different ideas. That’s what my students would say about me. I also especially coming in out of college. I brought in a lot of several elements. Research and presentation to the table when it came to the way I was training my students, my dancers in the ensemble that I was directing.

[00:20:07.930] – Kayah Alexander

They were expected to write papers and they were expected to stand up and present their ideas or their findings or their review of different performances they’d seen or the processes that they went through to work with these choreographers that were working with them.

[00:20:24.040] – Kayah Alexander

Several years later, a lot of my students are graduating from high school soon, if not already. I have several of my students that I started working with when I first moved to Dallas that are now in college. And I have a few that actually chose to go to my alma mater, Howard University, and they’ve shared that. It’s because Miss Kayah went there and they saw how I was working in the dance company as a professional dancer and then also pairing that with the Miss Kayah they knew as their teacher.

[00:20:54.880] – Kayah Alexander

They thought it was pop in and they wanted to follow those footsteps and get as much out of their own experience based on what they witnessed within me. I would never take the credit for completely changing someone’s trajectory, but I definitely know that I’ve influenced

[00:21:12.190] – Brett Dupree

 Feels good to make an impact on someone’s life, doesn’t it?

[00:21:14.260] – Kayah Alexander

It does.

[00:21:15.260] – Brett Dupree

So we are coming to the end of our time together. And one thing I like to ask my guests is to do a minute of motivation. You can imagine this as if you have a time machine and you’re going back to your eight-year-old self. You want to convey everything you need to live a happy, joyful life. But unfortunately, you’ll have a minute until you are taken back into the future or you can think of it as taking your entire life’s message and condensing it down to a minute. So you’re ready?

[00:21:38.300] – Kayah Alexander

Yes.

[00:21:38.770] – Brett Dupree

Let’s go.

[00:21:39.510] – Kayah Alexander

You do not have to have every detail figured out regarding your dream move to make it happen. Fear of it being too late or taking too much time or not having enough preparation. It’s not an excuse. God willing, the time will pass anyway. So whatever it is that you think about more than three times a day, whatever it is that you see other people doing, and you know that you could fill that space. Start right now.

[00:22:05.770] – Kayah Alexander

You can spend your whole life contributing to someone else’s dream. And while your presence will be valuable, it won’t last as long as it would or be as impactful as if you were carrying it out yourself. Your legacy is something that can only be shaped by you. What are you going to leave behind? Start today.

[00:22:27.340] – Brett Dupree

Awesome. Thank you so much for being on my podcast. I really enjoyed listening to your story. I mean, number one learning about a world that honestly, I know nothing about, which is dance, but also listening to how you keep on going on and dealing with the judgment that it takes to be a good dancer and not letting that consume you. And dealing with that story of disappointment and being able to go past that is always nice to hear. And I also appreciate the fact that you learn how to do this and you push forward and you had so much encouraging growing up and that you then take that encouragement and help the youth out today in their lives and fulfilling a role that some people didn’t have.

[00:23:07.360] – Brett Dupree

So you’re giving back in a way that I believe is special and sharing in the world through your dance is, I think, awesome. So thank you so much for everything you do in this world. And thank you for being on my podcast.

[00:23:17.890] – Kayah Alexander

Of course. Thank you again so much for having me

[00:23:20.720] – Brett Dupree

May your day be special.

[00:23:21.780] – Kayah Alexander

Yours too.

Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript Brett Dupree – Lessons Learned After 75 Podcasts And Celebration!

[00:00:28.940] – Brett Dupree

Today is a special seventy-fifth episode extravaganza ganza ganza. Part of me wants to sing the Jamie Foxx song extravaganza, but unfortunately, I think I’m the only person who likes that song or one of them is one of those songs.

[00:00:46.670] – Brett Dupree

You ever had an album and you love a song. And it’s your favorite song on the album. But that’s not the big one that everyone knows. That’s mine from Jamie Foxx. His album is Extravaganza. I love that song.

[00:01:00.710] – Brett Dupree

I had one too many drinks and ended up in the embassy. Yeah. You never heard of it. The other one that is saved for someone else by Az Yet. Love that song. But anyway, this is not about songs.

[00:01:12.800] – Brett Dupree

This is about extravaganza. It’s about celebrating 75 episodes of the Joyous Expansion Podcast roughly just over two years in the making. June 2nd is, I believe when I first released my first three episodes of that disappointing hoping for 20 views per episode, ended up getting less than 20 periods and downloads and being very disappointed and then continuing and then faltering and then re-energizing at the beginning of last year. And so far, so good.

[00:01:45.710] – Brett Dupree

I mean, I’m having I’m not on one hundred and four, two hundred and seven like I plan. I still missed a couple of weeks or so but I have seventy-five and honestly only this is my fourth one of just being me talking. I think that’s pretty good. I’m going to celebrate that accomplishment. Hurray! I’m very proud of myself. I’ve gotten decently far in my podcasting and I’ve learned a lot.

[00:02:10.030] – Brett Dupree

And so this podcast is mostly celebrating and answering no questions anyone’s ever asked of me of what it’s like to have seventy-five episodes of a podcast. What I’ve learned and how I make my podcasts. I remember two years ago or just over two years ago when I decided to start a podcast.

[00:02:26.930] – Brett Dupree

Somebody put on Facebook something along the lines of wanting podcasts for their podcast network. And I thought to myself, well, I remember a long time ago, someone said that I had a nice voice and that they could hear me on the radio someday. And they you know what? I should finally start podcasts.

[00:02:45.320] – Brett Dupree

I want to interview people. And I definitely want to showcase people’s stories. Talk about empathy with the idea that because when I listen to stories, I like stories where I get to hear mostly normal people going through normal things if you will.

[00:03:01.190] – Brett Dupree

A lot of this tends from, well, Albert Menza. He is a very inspirational, motivational speaker and he has a fabulous story. But for me, that story isn’t very relatable because he grew up in Africa and had nothing and they used to pass around one piece of chicken and he only got one chicken and he used to save it for a week, which sounds disgusting. And then he made it to the United States where he had 20 dollars. And with that 20 dollars, all he had, he bought an entire bucket of chicken and underwear because he never owned underwear before.

[00:03:32.570] – Brett Dupree

And he eats so much KFC that he got sick because the thought of eating an entire bucket of chicken was just amazing to him. And then he won the world champion, public speaking of first freakin year doing it. And while that’s an inspirational story and I’m sure it’s inspirational, some people honestly, I did not find that that inspiring. I’m not going to discount that story.

[00:03:51.140] – Brett Dupree

I don’t want to discount this very it’s a great story. It’s a great speech. But for me, when I listen to and I thought about it, it wasn’t a story that made me think that I could do it. But then I was listening to this other podcast of this author. I forgot the podcast, man, but he was talking about how he was a 19-year overnight success. Basically, he’s been writing and pushing for 19 years until finally one of his books made it and then he exploded and he became an overnight success.

[00:04:19.730] – Brett Dupree

That’s his joke. That story spoke to me. It spoke to me because I’m somebody who’s been pushing now for, I think, really solid nine years at this. But I believe I started in 2008, says 12 years of wanting to be a motivational, inspirational speaker and a toastmaster for ten of them. I have not made much progress in that.

[00:04:42.440] – Brett Dupree

Honestly, I’m just not close to where I want to be. It’s still not making me money and doesn’t have a lot of clients. I don’t even know if I want to be a coach anymore. The head coaching being something people forced me to do because they really want my coaching. I rather do the speaking because I love inspiring people most of all and being part of the rah rah and helping people live their lives in a big setting more. And that’s why I’m more focusing on the Church of Awesome than that.

[00:05:06.020] – Brett Dupree

But that basically the reason why that spoke to me is that someone who got rejected or rejected and dealt with all of those issues and he was able to push through it. And so I thought, I want my podcast to be a podcast where I interview people going through normal life. They could be trying to achieve great things, which is fine. A lot of people want to achieve great things or they just want to do normal things, like just being a psychic.

[00:05:30.830] – Brett Dupree

I mean, psychic. Maybe you make like six. You do get to be six figures or. Store or just you know, I’m talking about not going out and being like a huge Tony Robbins. But someone who just wants to build a career doing something they like. And honest. I’m willing to speak to anyone who has a story of wanting to do something in their life, even if it just raises the best family. I would love to talk to a mom about what it’s like. I am sure someone needs to hear that, because my idea was if I get enough stories, the right people will listen to them and inspire them. Or if you listen to enough of my podcasts, enough of the people stories will resonate with you and help keep you going. Help keep you going on your path, whatever that is. That was the idea of my podcast. That’s what I wanted.

[00:06:19.120] – Brett Dupree

The problem was the name at first because I felt the joyous expansion podcast didn’t really convey that as well. And I still don’t I don’t think it does. It just fits with my old SEO and I couldn’t think of a better name. This is why at the beginning of all my podcasts, I started out with Welcome to my podcast because that’s because for the first, I think, five or six episodes, I did not settle on a name.

[00:06:47.560] – Brett Dupree

The thing I learned from that is really doesn’t start until you have your vision down by the same time start. I probably should talk to somebody, maybe a business consultant of some kind, or when my coaches friends to just bounce something off of. I was how I was just doing something like that. Maybe your therapist. I don’t know someone to bounce ideas about what you want to convey. And so and suggested the jury’s expansion podcast. I think that person was thinking more about marketing. But I can only almost want to push past Joyous Expansion. I mean, it’s great.

[00:07:19.990] – Brett Dupree

I love it. I love my book and everything. But I think that’s just one aspect of what I do and who I am. And I almost feel like I’m outgrowing that. So if you were thinking of starting a podcast, I would think of getting your vision down. Now I’m going to keep the Joyous Expansion podcast. At least til 100 episodes. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. I like it. So first there was a struggle. I think if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve heard me talk about the struggle at the start of the beginning, not getting the lessons I wanted.

[00:07:52.900] – Brett Dupree

I thought 60 listens at the beginning was me being low. I thought if my friends and family listen, that’s about 10 people easily. And if they each of them, the people who I did it sends it out to them. And 10 people of them would listen to it. That’s six. That’s just below. And when it turned out, I believe, was 18. If I remember, it was under 20. I went to 20 to listen and it was under 20.

[00:08:19.240] – Brett Dupree

And I was devastated. That hurt a lot. I almost quit at that point, but I decided to push through it. But it was hard as hard to find guests at first. It was very hard finding people, getting them to commit, and pushing it down. That took a lot out of me. I don’t like asking for help. I hate the part of looking for guests.

[00:08:39.950] – Brett Dupree

I’m just not really good at putting myself out there. I do not take rejection well, and then editing. At first, I felt like a drag. It felt like a huge drag because it takes so long to edit. It takes at least three minutes per one minute of audio, sometimes longer, depending on the guest of the if the guest uses a lot of Ums and Aw’s and So’s and I,I,I,I,I. And you know what I means. At first, I try to keep some of them in just to try to keep the person’s essence.

[00:09:09.560] – Brett Dupree

But one person was like, Oh man, I said this so many times, I thought, you know, I’d rather have my guests sound like the best. And that’s when I made a switch in my editing as well, was I did two things. I decided that I wanted to be a podcast where my guests sound their best and I’ll do their best possible and getting their many of those um’s and aw’s and their so’s. Those double words are parts where they’re kind of rambling because a lot of times when people are talking, they will say something and then they will say that same thing again. Because you know you know that time when. Yeah. That time when I went out to the store, you know, stuff like that, I just get really, you know, what time went.

[00:09:48.650] – Brett Dupree

So they sound like they are sure and confident. And I decide that’s what I want. For me, it’s a service that I provide. And then I made editing a game. I tried to think about how much time can I take away from the interview. Sometimes it’s up to 12 minutes of just getting rid of the um’s, ah’s, so’s, i,i,i,i,i, and you know, remember when you know you remember when you go to the store, sometimes it’s like 12 minutes. And I feel so satisfied that I eliminated that much filler. Also, get rid of breaths. I don’t know why it is only listening to me breathe. When I edited my book, which took freakin forever, I was like, I do not want to hear me breathe.

[00:10:28.550] – Brett Dupree

Yeah. What was I saying? Oh yeah. So that’s how I got the editing down is changing my mindset by it. And I use gaming, a programmable mouse. If whatever you’re doing, if you’re going to edit, use a programmable mouse. Use the left buttons. They’re great. One for the lead. Two for four is for me, silent. You just press it. And this makes does make that go faster. But switching my mindset, the editing, and then switching my mindset on the views, I decided since I am going to be a smaller podcast and I am a toastmaster. The thing that I love about Toastmasters is watching people grow, watching people step out of their comfort zone.

[00:11:07.970] – Brett Dupree

I love watching ice breakers, ice breakers, the first speech in Toastmasters, and I absolutely love watching that, especially from the people who are most afraid. There is this one person. Her name is Basia. Her icebreaker was one of my most proud moments in Toastmasters because it took like eight months to maybe a year to get her to do it. And it was just constant, just trying to build help build up her confidence. And then when she finally did it, I just that was great.

[00:11:33.990] – Brett Dupree

So I thought to myself, I could be a podcast service. People who don’t necessarily get their voices heard. The newbies. I decided that even if I become gigantic somehow in the joyous expansion podcasts or my next podcast gets one that gets five thousand ten thousand one hundred thousand views or something like that, I still would want to dedicate at least one interview a month to a newbie, to somebody new, to somebody who this is their first podcast.

[00:12:01.700] – Brett Dupree

I’ll try to get those as well because those people deserve to be heard. And I enjoy them. I enjoy learning about them. And that’s another thing that I did as well. I shifted my perspective on the interviews. I think that’s made my interviews a lot better. Shifting on, getting to know them, learning their story instead of interviewing them. And that came a lot in time. Some of the interviews early on kind of got away for me.

[00:12:25.760] – Brett Dupree

There’s one that I particularly do not like. I won’t say which one, because that’s rude. But honestly, it’s by far my least favorite interview. After that interview, I changed my email saying, I don’t want an infomercial. I don’t want an infomercial. I want your story. Oh, and who you are and work on that. And when I get someone interested in my podcasts, I send them an email. And this email has all the information that someone could ever need to try to be on my podcast because people keep on asking me questions. And I don’t want to answer questions all day and send emails because I’m draining and hard. And so I have this really long email that answers all the questions that I can honestly.

[00:13:07.160] – Brett Dupree

I can tell who’s read it and who hasn’t. By the people who are ready for the one-minute motivation that’s at the end, which is an idea. I had to see if I can promote it, you know, make those little tiny videos. I got the idea when I did explaindio, which had a little tiny video that put on Instagram, I thought maybe one of these will go viral. None of them ever have.

[00:13:25.520] – Brett Dupree

But I still like them and they’re not as successful as I’d liked. Might as well call this the not as successful as I like podcast because nothing I’ve done has been as successful as I liked. But I still like doing the minute the motivation thing. I said at the end of each episode about going back to the eight-year-old self has been a blessing and a curse.

[00:13:43.940] – Brett Dupree

So something I came up within the first episode and decided to keep ongoing. So it sounds like I had a plan. And sometimes that’s causes confusion where people are literally talking to their eight-year-old self. And I don’t want that. I have that in the email. But the ones who are still surprised and end up talking to their eight-year-old selves are the ones who I know didn’t read. But that’s fine. That’s fine. That long email.

[00:14:07.550] – Brett Dupree

So that’s is something I also recommend is having an email that spells everything out and the people who will read will read. So those are my basic idea of how going through my podcasts and getting guests to sort of way. One of the best things I did was something called podcast guests dot com. And becoming featured on the email gave me 50 prospects. And of those 50 prospects, I think at least 18 people came from that. But that gave me 18 prospects of these, you know, a bunch of people to email and then a bunch of people to do so. When it came to emailing other people are asking my friends and stuff. It just made that not become daunting because you want to get ahead in your interviews. That’s one thing I really like about the recording. I use Zencastr.com. It’s good now. At first, it kind of sucked because there’s automatic post-production and automatic post-production. Sometimes we get to the point where they start overlapping, but they finally fixed that. Finally kind of worth it. The twenty dollars a month.

[00:15:08.690] – Brett Dupree

Gets thirty dollars a month because he uses Dropbox up one drive, which annoys me how they switch to One Drive one day because I will save me ten dollars a month. So don’t use Dropbox and wonder. I was just part of my Microsoft O365 subscription. So Zencastr has been fine, especially lately at first. Also, there is a problem getting people having good audio and a lot of my early audios weren’t the best.

[00:15:33.780] – Brett Dupree

And that probably didn’t help me as well. Podcastguests.com is something I highly recommend. If you’re just ready, first starting out and you want to find guests, go in there and messaging people. People there want to be on podcasts. And so they’ll message you back. I do have a lot of spiritual friends and done seminars and stuff. So I asked a bunch of those people, try it. I like doing them in bunches so I can just feel relaxed.

[00:15:59.940] – Brett Dupree

I’m going to start my next bunch after this one and try to get it because right now I have. It’s June I half through the end of August did. And I want to get through the end of December by August because of football. And it just makes things easier that I if I don’t have to, I can slow down a little bit.

[00:16:18.420] – Brett Dupree

So I highly suggest doing that. Everything I’ve read said he should be a week behind in your podcast, meaning that this podcast that I’m putting on now that I’m doing today should have been in last week. That’s a great idea. I’m very bad at that. Mostly do the editing because would have to edit twice maybe one these Sundays when I have nothing to do, I’ll do a double edit and then get to the point where I am a week behind by the same time.

[00:16:41.580] – Brett Dupree

It does it feels fresh when I do my beginning part. But that’s not a bad idea. It’s not a bad idea. So now I want to talk about the interviews and the things I’ve learned from people. I mean, that’s the thing I like most about my podcast is interviewing people and how much better I am at it.

[00:16:56.520] – Brett Dupree

And one thing I always remember from Aventure Time, Jake, the Dog saying sucking at something is the first step to being kind of sort of good at it. But that’s very true. My early interviews are kind of stilted. I felt almost overwhelmed. And you don’t realize how thankful people are to be on your podcast. The people who show up on my podcast are thankful to be there.

[00:17:20.300] – Brett Dupree

And that’s something I always had to get through my head, especially the people who are introverts who are harder to get them to say things, as are the people who can talk. You ask him a question and they can talk ten minutes and they’re talking about their story. I don’t mind because I’m riveted. I love listening to people’s stories. And then there are people who ask him a question and the answer in under a minute. Those can be difficult and trying.

[00:17:41.640] – Brett Dupree

In fact, those are the ones that are generally around twenty-something minutes because after a while I don’t. I run out of questions to ask and towards the end I want to pivot to what they do. They could have a chance to sell themselves because I still want people to know I have a chance to talk about what they do, not just their story. That part of you know, when I first started my podcast, it took till Episode 20 something before I literally emailed it out, before I just tagged them on Facebook because most my first people were Facebook friends.

[00:18:09.570] – Brett Dupree

I was very bad at sending it to people. I was almost ashamed of it. Yeah, I was almost ashamed of my first few podcasts, but I feel better about it now. Feel better about it now.

[00:18:21.120] – Brett Dupree

Started to feel really proud of it, mostly after talking to so many amazing people. The stories that really surprised me or the ones that I never expected. Evan Safford, that was one of my favorite interviews in the sense of when I started the podcast, I thought I get it mostly coaches or something like that. But this was a guy who just was a musician. He was weird. He was out there, but he was inspiring in his own way.

[00:18:46.860] – Brett Dupree

And that was awesome. That’s all my favorite interviews its also one of the weirdest interviews I ever did. But this is a guy who is living his life and doing his best and learning, and he’s hustling.

[00:18:57.300] – Brett Dupree

And it’s awesome. It’s freaking awesome. I’m not saying my other interviews aren’t awesome. Nothing that surprised me is how many people smoke crack or did hard drugs. A lot of people who I didn’t expect having issues like that. You know, sometimes it’s helped me with my personal biases, especially when it comes to really attractive women. Sometimes I just think their lives are easy because I grew up on sitcoms honestly.

[00:19:26.610] – Brett Dupree

And so listening to these ridiculously beautiful women, talking about being sex trafficked or being drug addicts, being like almost committing suicide. And you just recognize the fact that we are all human. We all go through our trials and doesn’t really matter what you look like on the outside. We can go through things that are difficult and hard for us. That doesn’t matter as much as matters are we keep ongoing. Also on the other end, how many people are pretty practically I would call to say Disney Princess Syndrome, where they live a pretty good life, but they’re like, I want more.

[00:20:00.750] – Brett Dupree

That’s not bad either. I’m not dismissing it by calling it Disney Princess Syndrome. And just that idea of like, wow, you have a great life, but you want more. But thing is, you have a great life. But it’s not your life. It’s a life that was created for you without really your permission. And you’d rather do this instead. Listen to those people. Triumph has meant awesome. So I really appreciate everyone who’s been on my podcasts and been a guest on my podcast.

[00:20:26.460] – Brett Dupree

It’s been an honor for having each one, even the ones even the few that I’m like aren’t my favorite. I still value their time and effort. I feel really bad for one podcast that just was not good enough to go on the air, just the audio quality soccer story was great and I was really sad. But it was worse than Aleechea Pitts audio, which wasn’t the best. Or Julie Gray’s audio, which was too was also pretty bad.

[00:20:51.590] – Brett Dupree

This one was just unlistenable and he was really bad. Unfortunately, she didn’t. Re interview later, but I felt very bad because she spent her time and effort because that’s the thing about Zencastr sometimes they don’t sound the best. But when I listened to the post-production, it sounds fine. So I was hoping that every one of those times there’s been a lot of ups and downs on the joyous expansion podcast, more downs than ups.

[00:21:14.630] – Brett Dupree

In some ways when I talk about where I wanted to be in two years. But to be honest, I am very proud of what I’ve done. I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished. And I’m very happy that I’ve done it. I do not regret it one bit.

[00:21:28.070] – Brett Dupree

I learned a lot about myself. I proved to myself that I can be consistent at something, even if it’s not going the way I planned. And then when I utilized that belief in pushing myself forward in other things that I want to do and also I can see the value in like I got to interview William Hung. And that was super cool. I never thought I would do that. The guy from American Idol, that was super cool. I never thought.

[00:21:53.660] – Brett Dupree

Yeah. So I have that memory forever and that podcast forever. But, you know, even the people who aren’t William Hung talking to Amanda Webster, who I did know is such a big deal and her story was just phenomenal. I think she’s going to become big someday. And a lot of the people. I think a few will become bigish someday, elite in their niche market. And they look great because they just have great stories. And I’m just honored for each person who’s really to share themselves and be vulnerable on my podcast. It’s just something special about being vulnerable and sharing yourself.

[00:22:25.430] – Brett Dupree

And that’s what I wanted my podcast to be. And I’m proud the fact that I got at least seventy one interviews with people where I try my best in doing that and I’m getting better and better and more and more people are showing themselves and who they are and being vulnerable with me and with the audience and especially a couple of interviews coming up. Which one person was just surprised? The near-death experience person as an interview its own about their near-death experience and every other podcast.

[00:22:57.320] – Brett Dupree

They talk about her near-death experience, and that’s where all the questions were. But mine is different. I talk about how it affected her life and before and after. And because I wouldn’t know the story of it. How. What did it do for her? And so that’s something I look forward to as well.

[00:23:11.870] – Brett Dupree

But that’s the difference between the Joyous Expansion Podcast and other podcasts is I care about you. The person I’m interviewing, I want to know about your life and what got you to where you are and wanting to get there. And I know that will serve the audience.

[00:23:27.650] – Brett Dupree

Be willing to suck. Go for it. The first step to being good at something is being bad at it. That’s what it was like when I started my podcast. I wasn’t good. And then I got better and better and better as I keep ongoing. You will build those skills. Have the right mindset. Look for ways to shift your mindset when things aren’t going the way you planned. There are no failures. Only learning experiences.

[00:23:55.880] – Brett Dupree

So when you look back constantly evaluate where you are. Learn from your successes. Learn from your quote-unquote failures. And push forward. Continue to learn. Continue to grow and continue to push. Sooner or later, you will get it. But most important is the personal growth along the way and who you become because you went for it. Whatever you’re going for, I’m proud of you.

[00:24:19.820] – Brett Dupree

Thank you all who have been a part of this journey with me. I truly appreciate all my listeners. I truly appreciate all my intervieweese. Haha old thing where I used to say that instead of guests because I forgot guests for like 50 episodes or forgot that word.

[00:24:38.010] – Brett Dupree

I’m thankful and grateful and I look forward to at least doing another 25 episodes of the Joyous Expansion podcast.

Joyous Expansion Podcast Transcript Samantha Ruberto – Attain Clarity, Alignment, And Confidence To Live Your Best Life

[00:00:00.150] – Brett Dupree

Hello, Samantha, and welcome to my podcast.

[00:00:03.180] – Samantha Ruberto

Hello, Brett. And thank you, I’m glad to be here.

[00:00:05.870] – Brett Dupree

How are you doing on this fun morning?

[00:00:07.950] – Samantha Ruberto

I’m good. I am having a really, beautiful day. Woke up with lots of energy. I had a killer morning routine and I just feel set up for the day to unfold in a nice way.

[00:00:20.910] – Brett Dupree

That’s so cool. So, this is in your intro that you’re a podcast or mindset coach and a travel junkie who wants a month before that.

[00:00:29.820] – Samantha Ruberto

Who was I? Before that, I was essentially the same girl. But I had different layers on top of me. So that’s what I’ll say. I’ve always been this girl who I am even more now. It’s just if I were to go back five-plus years, my life looked very, very different. I was a real her working 24/7 in a long-term relationship in the grind of the go, go, go of everyday work life on the outside.

[00:00:59.160] – Samantha Ruberto

It was very much the white picket fence. I was checking all of the boxes. As I said, long term relationships, a successful career, had all the things that go on vacation, happy to fly home. But I remember one day between my appointments, I was driving mindlessly. There was a song playing in the background and I sort of in that state of conscious subconscious when you’re kind of just like zoned out. And suddenly, this little voice within me whispered.

[00:01:25.050] – Samantha Ruberto

Life isn’t fun and lives supposed to be fun. You’re 27 years old. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? And when it hit me, brat, as I tell you all this that I was driving, it was like, whoa, what was that? And I slow down. I just. What was that? When I got to my desk at my appointment, I finished that. I remember I went back home and I really slowed things down and I listened when I did and when I gave myself the space to ask, is this how I want to live the rest of my life?

[00:01:54.840] – Samantha Ruberto

The answer was a clear no. And it was really difficult, to be honest because I was doing all of the things that you should do. I was checking off society’s boxes, but something deep down within me wasn’t really happy. Then created space in my life. I took space away from my partner. I took time off of my career. And I just said, like, what is it that you really want? And when I sat with it and meditated on it, I realized that I needed to experience more, that I needed to experience the world.

[00:02:22.640] – Samantha Ruberto

I was from Thunder Bay, a small little Canadian town on the shores of Lake Superior. Everything I had known up to that point was really a reflection of the environment that I have lived in here.

[00:02:32.160] – Samantha Ruberto

And when I thought about it, it was like the world can offer you so much and you don’t even know what’s out there. So, I think it’s time to go. Just find out for yourself. I proceeded to book a one-way ticket to Thailand. I’d never backpacked. I had never been to Asia. I had never traveled alone. And I was just like, you know what? I’m going on the adventure of my life. When the wheels of the plane took off of the tarmac, I was so scared that I started to cry.

[00:02:58.770] – Samantha Ruberto

I was sitting there on the plane, tears rolling down my face. I remember the stewardess came up like, Ma’am, are you OK? I’m like, I’m fine. It’s OK. And I was just like, holy ****. I don’t know. Sorry, Holly. I headed up. I can say that word on here, but. Oh, my gosh. What am I doing? Where am I going to even have a plan? But looking back now, it’s like that initial trip five years ago was the best decision of my life because then it proceeded one trip to the other, to the other, to the other.

[00:03:24.240] – Samantha Ruberto

And then since then, I’ve been to over 50 countries, experienced a whole lot of the world, and really just my life is completely different than it was at the time.

[00:03:32.610] – Brett Dupree

Looking back, what does it feel that you’re missing in your white picket fence life?

[00:03:37.770] – Samantha Ruberto

You know what? I really don’t think I gave myself space at that time to tune into my heart and my purpose and what really lit me up on a deep soul level. I have a very traditional upbringing. I came from a really good family. I went to graduate from high school, went away to university, came back home, got a career with successful I just one thing in front of the other. It’s like I did the next thing that you were supposed to do without even ever tuning in and giving myself the space to say, like, what does Samantha want?

[00:04:10.380] – Samantha Ruberto

What impact does she want to have on the world? What is it that she wants to experience? I was basically just taking all of the things that you should be doing and doing those things. And yet underneath it all, it’s just like I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t in alignment. I recalibrated. I would say, like, I really just stripped everything away, tuned in to what I wanted, and then recalibrated the direction that I was going.

[00:04:30.660] – Brett Dupree

You talk about checking inside these boxes and what you’re supposed to do next. I was curious about how you feel about the kind of the boxes society does trade to places.

[00:04:42.120] – Samantha Ruberto

So, this is really funny. And this is an interesting period in my life because as I mentioned, I went to over 50 countries and I would go to these places, whether it was like Colombia or Vietnam or Iceland or Australia. And I would see all these different ways that people would live in different cultures, different religions. Different foods, different clothing, different languages. And it was so fascinated with all of these different ways to exist. I realized on a deep level that no way was right or wrong.

[00:05:10.530] – Samantha Ruberto

I remember I was on the Mekong River going on a boat. I was a public boat. There is a group vessel. We’re traveling from one place to the other. Every so often as we’re going down this river in Cambodia, the boat, which is pulled over to the side and it would look like you were like in the middle of nowhere. And then a family would just jump off like they knew where they were going and then just walk through these bushes and go off.

[00:05:30.060] – Samantha Ruberto

And then you would keep going like almost like a bus stop here. My friends, I was looking more like, where the heck would these people go and where are they living? What are they doing? You look at the smile on their face and they have literally nothing compared to what we have. And they’re happy and they’re playful and they’re fun. And they’re just it really sparked this curiosity of what is important in life. So when I would come back home from these trips and see all these different ways of existing and living, and I’d look at the nine to five and I’d look at the way that I was living my life here, and I started questioning the things that I would just naturally do, my habits that I had and the routines.

[00:06:03.000] – Samantha Ruberto

And I just started asking myself, is, this is absolute. Is this what I must do? Do I have to go back in and come back home and get into the routine that I was always in? Or do I have a choice? Or if something doesn’t feel right, could I say I’m not going to do that? I don’t really want to do that. So, I don’t really want to do that and then start cultivating life on my terms.

[00:06:22.470] – Samantha Ruberto

And the more that I did that, the more I realized that life opened up and blossomed in ways that I couldn’t have even expected.

[00:06:27.760] – Brett Dupree

That’s so cool one thing that’s interesting is actually. You have this perfect life. This job. This long-term relationship. Checking the boxes. And, parents like it when their kids check the boxes. So how did your family react to you stepping out?

[00:06:42.450] – Samantha Ruberto

So I grew up a little bit of with an untraditional family. My father traveled to Cuba lots when we were growing up. My mother did travel lots, but not to the extent that I took it. So I do come from a bit of a risk. They’re open to the world. And to be honest, I am really grateful that my parents just trusted me. They really didn’t question what I was doing. And I think a part of it is because I had built up my own success with real estate when I was in real estate.

[00:07:08.880] – Samantha Ruberto

I was very successful. I was able to buy a couple of properties. I was working very hard. I was doing all the things that I was always very independent. So when I went and did this, I was just I’m going to do this. It’s not going to make sense to you, but you need to trust me. And then I went off. I mean, there were moments where weeks would go by and I might now call home because you do when you’re traveling, you’re so in the moment, like you just kind of forget to call mom and dad because you’re on the beach in Thailand having the time your life and meeting new friends and going here and experiencing that.

[00:07:34.980] – Samantha Ruberto

And you really. Days go by it, I think because you’re so inflow and so at the moment. So, like, the only problem I really had with them when they were like, are you OK? Can you check it? Like, what’s going on? Please keep us in touch if you’re gonna go on this crazy adventure across the planet. And the more that I did it with them, the one thing is, the more that I went to, the more trips I took, the more they trusted me.

[00:07:54.180] – Samantha Ruberto

And the more they realized that when I would come back, they saw this other thing sparked in me. I think secretly they were really, really proud.

[00:08:01.240] – Brett Dupree

So I’m curious what got you into wanting to become a coach?

[00:08:05.970] – Samantha Ruberto

So for me, it was a mindset thing. When I would go out and have these incredible experiences, I come back home and people would always ask me, how? How are you traveling? How are you doing this? How are you living your life this way? And at this point, for me, it just become it felt like it was easy because as I went on these experiences, I developed different mindsets, tricks, tips, tools, read interesting books, got different perspectives.

[00:08:28.140] – Samantha Ruberto

And it was really able to peel back the layers of my own limiting beliefs of my own boxes that I was putting myself in. The more I walked that path, the easier I saw that it was when I talked to friends back home in my small little town, Thunder Bay. They’d often share how they could never do it, how they wouldn’t be able to because of this, this, this, this says. And for me, I just thought from such a different angle, I was.

[00:08:50.260] – Samantha Ruberto

Yeah. About what? About, you know, why are you even setting yourself up that way? What if. Why couldn’t you? Why not. And then they would tell me the reason and it’s a yea but. What about this. I just started bringing a fresh perspective to people and little by little the conversations I was having with my friends, they began to sort of dot pause and then look at their lives a bit differently. And I just noticed for me the mindset that I had and body that I took on to go on the adventure.

[00:09:14.940] – Samantha Ruberto

I really embodied it. It was living it day by day, and people around me constantly sorted of inspired or conversations we’d have. They’d message me and say, thank you so much. I really thought about this differently. I’m going to try this or do that or go for that job or ask that person out because life is short. Why not right? It’s just I realized on a deep level because I was living that truth because I was living this way of just being unapologetically myself and showing up like that.

[00:09:41.520] – Samantha Ruberto

I was giving the people around me permission to peel back their layers and to do the same. Little by little, book by book, I just became more and more passionate with mindset, the power that we all have to create, the lives that we want and to really go after the thing. So it really came from a place of wanting to help others step into their power and realize their unlimited ability and truth and energy that would support them as long as they would take the steps and take those leap of faith towards the things that they wanted.

[00:10:12.600] – Brett Dupree

Is there anything you had to do with your mindset to be able to shift to helping others?

[00:10:17.490] – Samantha Ruberto

Oh, a lot. I mean, there are so many different things I had to do. It wasn’t an easy journey, but it was a journey and it was a journey worth walking. I had to pack so much stuff, Brett, so many different things. I had to question where do I even start? Every single day I would journal, I’d write. So write out journal. I don’t know if you’ve heard of morning pages.

[00:10:37.110] – Samantha Ruberto

So essentially, the journaling has been my biggest tool to help process over the past five years. There are three things that I really find very beneficial. One is a gratitude list. So every single morning writing out five things that I’m grateful for. And then every single evening ending it with five things I’m grateful for. So what that does for me is that with an anchor, my day in looking at life from a positive lens, instead of just waking up and letting this subconscious brain take over and going to the same mindset that I would possess before I was putting in these little tricks to help uplift and shift my perspective.

[00:11:13.500] – Samantha Ruberto

So gratitude lists are one of the most best beneficial things you can do. And they do say that gratitude is the ultimate form of receivership. If you can tap into a space of gratitude and love and just present in the moment, you can elevate your energy and then attract the things that you want. So by doing that every single day, I noticed I could shift my energy from a place of why I shouldn’t or why I can’t. To how can I do this? How can I get that? So that’s one thing.

[00:11:42.670] – Samantha Ruberto

The second thing I would do is it’s a process called morning pages. So morning pages. It’s from the book The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron. It’s a fantastic book for anybody who wants to tap into their creativity, who wants to bring playback into their life and tap into their inner joy. Essentially, what you do is every single morning you, Free-Flow, write for three pages straight, so you just brain dump whatever it is that’s on your mind in the morning.

[00:12:08.610] – Samantha Ruberto

Today, before I did it, actually before this interview, I woke up. It was a beautiful day. I’m excited for the interview. Like I just went about my day just for anything that was coming to me that came through me. I dumped it on the page. And what that does is almost like meditation. People don’t realize, but we get between 60 and 80 thousand thoughts pinging our brains every single day. Could you imagine your phone ping, ping, ping, bing, bing, bing, bing.

[00:12:32.340] – Samantha Ruberto

Eighty thousand times. So that’s what’s actually happening to our brain. But we’re not really aware of it because. Ninety-five percent of those thoughts are actually in our subconscious mind underneath the surface. And those are the old pattern that are replaying. So when you do a process like morning pages, you’re actually giving space for those subconscious thoughts to come out and to bring awareness to them on your page. Another way of doing this is through meditation. I’m a huge advocate of meditation.

[00:12:59.760] – Samantha Ruberto

Meditation has completely shifted. My perspective has completely changed my life. And I honestly believe that meditation has the capacity to change our world. What morning pages does is it creates space within your mind. It creates space within what’s going on within your soul. And when you have space within that place, you have more capacity to see things differently, to be more creative, to play and have fun, and approach life with that different lens.

[00:13:29.090] – Samantha Ruberto

And the third thing I did with journaling was clarity. Like I would write for clarity if I ever have a question, something that really, really bothered me that I just didn’t know the answer to, didn’t felt like I knew I would write on the page. What the question was, what the challenge was. And then I put the pen down. I’d connect to my higher power, my higher source. I’d ask for the universe to help me with it. And then I would pick up a different color pen and I would actually write that answer down every single time I did this process.

[00:13:58.440] – Samantha Ruberto

I would get an answer to the question or the overwhelm or the anxiety that I had that came from a certain place of the source of a higher truth that would navigate my path. Those are three things that I really did to help work on my mindset, to work through my mindset. But it’s a journey. Personal development is not like a one-shot. And you’re either through it. It is a journey. It is an everyday commitment, but it is a beautiful journey because you really do see the magic in life and how if you’re willing to be open and come to life with a place of love, her life will support you in the things that you want to create and do and dream.

[00:14:36.180] – Brett Dupree

What were the main thoughts you had to switch that you had to work through?

[00:14:42.630] – Samantha Ruberto

When I first started traveling, as I said, I was a realtor. I was busy and I identified with being busy, being important, you know like I was really busy. I had lots of clients. My phone was always ringing and I always had a million things. I was multitasking. So busy to me equaled important and. Good and successful. So that was one huge shift was letting go of the busy monster and one hack that I had as a realtor when my phone was pinging at me constantly was turning my phone on silent.

[00:15:11.730] – Samantha Ruberto

I remember that the moment that I literally looked at my phone and I’m like, I am not going to do this anymore. I am not going to be a slave to this device. And even though this is my lifeline and my way of making money in my career, I’m going to take charge of it. I remember I like, you know, just put it on silent. Put it down. And that was a huge mindset shift because then I felt like I got my time back.

[00:15:33.000] – Samantha Ruberto

I didn’t feel like I was a slave to my phone. That was a huge mindset shift. I also realized that the less busy I was, the more productive I was. I started to close more deal clients respected my time more. I was more efficient. So that was a really, really big mindset shift. Another one I had was guilt. I dealt with so much guilt when I had first initially gone traveling because my clients needed me and I had to be there.

[00:16:01.860] – Samantha Ruberto

And like I said, the phone, the 20. You’d been there available 24 hours a day. Imagine shutting it off and being like, I’m going for three months and I’m not sure how things are going to work when I come back. But I’m just going to have faith that they will. And by giving myself that time and that space to just put me first, I could fill my own cup from the inside. And it was like this overflowing joy and love that I had tapped into so that when I came back and to serve my clients, I was coming from such an overflowing, abundant place that everything fell into place.

[00:16:32.010] – Samantha Ruberto

If that makes sense, do you. Do you ever experience that? Do you. Do you know what I mean? So those are two big things dealing with guilt and dealing with the busyness of life. And the important thing is to attach that.

[00:16:43.410] – Brett Dupree

So what does it look like? Working with you?

[00:16:45.680] – Samantha Ruberto

You know, I’ve been talking about real estate a lot because that’s where a lot of my story had started. But now, like as a mindset coach, essentially, I tell all my clients I’m not here to fix you. Nobody here needs to be fixed. What I am here to do is to hold space for you and to see the love, the light, and the potential that you are. I tell people when they are, especially when they’re first looking to get a coach and they’ve never had coaching and they haven’t had stepped into that space of seeking outside support.

[00:17:16.380] – Samantha Ruberto

It is so important that you find someone who is gentle and who has discernment, who has good judgment about what it is that you’re gonna be bringing to the table. Because we’ve been judged our entire lives from society, from our parents are teachers, everything else. It’s like without even realizing there’s constantly these judgments cast. Those in turn create limiting beliefs and cause these patterns that kind of hold us back when it comes to coaching someone and bringing them into the safe container.

[00:17:44.760] – Brett Dupree

One thing that I think is super important is that there is zero judgment. I am here just to see you for your dreams, for the possibility, for everything that you want to create and help energetically hold your hand and keep you accountable to take the steps to make those things happen. My clients have completely changed their lives. And they always every single one of them always says, I thought I came to you for this. But what I really need was this whole other thing that I didn’t even realize was there.

[00:18:12.480] – Samantha Ruberto

And looking back, it’s just such a gift to be able to serve people in that capacity and help people see the lights that they truly are. You know, we were talking about before this podcast about Lightworkers and turning up your light so that you can reflect that light to the world. The world becomes a lighter and brighter place.

[00:18:30.540] – Brett Dupree

I love it.

[00:18:31.220] – Samantha Ruberto

Yeah.

[00:18:31.490] – Brett Dupree

What do you like about being a mindset coach?

[00:18:34.300] – Samantha Ruberto

The best thing about being a mindset coach is the ripple effect. Oh, it’s definitely the ripple effect. And, you know, even with podcasting, because, you know, with the podcast as well, it’s the fact that you can have this one conversation, this one moment with someone, whether it is a fly on the wall. Listen to our conversation right now or the person that I’m coaching one to one, they have this shift and you never know what that shift is going to create or what that shift is going to do.

[00:19:00.270] – Samantha Ruberto

And I really do believe that the details of life matter and the smile that you can give a stranger down a street or hold a door or send someone a nice message, everything has a ripple effect. And not knowing the difference that it’s actually making in the world, but knowing that it’s coming from a place of love and knowing that it is making a difference is the best part about it.

[00:19:21.950] – Brett Dupree

Do you have a podcast? Hello. Beautiful. Yes. What’s it like being a podcast host?

[00:19:29.520] – Samantha Ruberto

Being a podcast host is so fun. I know you get to connect with really cool people all around the world who are following their passions and their creativity and just really showing up in their capacity with serving the world. What do you think? How is it being a podcast host for you?

[00:19:47.700] – Brett Dupree

The thing that surprised me most about being a podcast host is the variety of stories. Talking to people like you had a pretty good upbringing, but still wanted more. Or talking to a person who was a crack addict, homeless on the street, and then became mindset. Coach, you never know how someone gets to where they are in each story is fascinating in their own right.

[00:20:07.590] – Samantha Ruberto

Totally. When the connections you can make right. And it kind of goes back to the ripple effect. But I just said it’s like you don’t know the impact that you’re having. But if you put a positive message out there, if you are putting that positive post, you change in the world. One episode at a time. One thing that people like I find when I talk to podcasters, they can somehow get caught up on numbers, you know, and they’re like, oh, you know, I wish I had more views or I wish I got more this or I wish I had more.

[00:20:32.040] – Samantha Ruberto

Whether it’s podcasting, social media, whatever the posts are. But as a coach, I look at them and I said, like, you know, how many downloads did you get this today? And the look, I mean, the same, you know, maybe twenty or thirty whatever or ten, whatever. And it’s like, do you realize that you just spoke in front of ten people and the shift that you could have had? What difference you could’ve made in those ten people’s lives?

[00:20:52.800] – Samantha Ruberto

Every little detail and listen and download and everything matters. And I mean, as long as you come from a place of love, it’s that’s all you can really ask yourself.

[00:21:03.540] – Brett Dupree

Oh, a hundred percent agree. So wonderful process. So I think fans listening and thinking, am I doing a podcast? I highly suggest it. Your own personal growth will be amazing.

[00:21:13.860] – Samantha Ruberto

And in a way, to like I will add that it’s like the personal growth of like for me, I wasn’t a tech techie person. I used it in the podcast. If an error screen popped up, popped up on my computer, I would see it internally, freak out, closed my computer, walk away for like three days, kind of creep back to my computer, open it up and hope that they hope that the error like the thing was gone and that it just sort of sorted itself out.

[00:21:35.840] – Samantha Ruberto

But podcasting has really got me to have to sit there and have to not react. And just like walk away and pretend like, you know, abandon abort the situation. I had to sit there and be like, OK, there’s an error. How do I figure this out? School of YouTube. School of Google. I can do that, you know. And little by little. One problem at a time, I had to sit there and actually be resourceful enough to figure it out.

[00:21:57.360] – Samantha Ruberto

So it’s given me a lot of confidence, too, in terms of like my capabilities of what I could be or what we could accomplish. And that’s one thing in life. It’s just because I had been a realtor for so long and identified as being a realtor, why cannot be a podcaster now just because you’ve done something your entire life? Who’s to say that I couldn’t or you couldn’t pick something else and start something from day one and just roll with it?

[00:22:20.430] – Samantha Ruberto

It’s really given a lot of confidence that anything is possible, that as long as you have your heart in it and you’ve got the commitment and the drive to do it, you can figure it out, too. Everybody has a starting point.

[00:22:30.810] – Brett Dupree

Very true. Lucky. One of my starting points was I have a tech background.

[00:22:34.970] – Samantha Ruberto

Do you? OK. So that really helps.

[00:22:37.570] – Brett Dupree

Do you have any fun success stories to share from your coaching or podcasting?

[00:22:40.920] – Samantha Ruberto

Oh my gosh. So many success stories. One of my clients I was just working with, she was a busy mom, working her nine to five, doing all of the things. And she had this little dream inside of her that she wanted to pursue coaching, but she didn’t really know what it looked like. She didn’t really know-how. She wasn’t really on the path at all. And so when I talked to her, she initially gave herself a two-year deadline to step into it, to give enough time to have enough cushion to have like enough this enough that to actually step into it after we working together.

[00:23:11.010] – Samantha Ruberto

Do you want to take a guess of how long it took her to actually step into her new path?

[00:23:16.590] – Brett Dupree

Five years.

[00:23:18.000] – Samantha Ruberto

Two months. So within two months of us working together, we started working together in January. And two months later, she quit her full-time job. She stepped away from it. She saw her value at her worth and she had the confidence to pursue her dreams. And that to me, just to take somebody, give her the space for the first time in her life, speak about her dream of pursuing coaching and going after this and holding space that she could actually say, OK, I’m going to do this in two years.

[00:23:47.090] – Samantha Ruberto

And for me to say, yes, yes, yes, you can. And then every single week work with her and question and push her a little bit and kind of help her. She just not only spoke her dream brought awareness to it, but actually took it from two years to two months. To me, that’s a success. That’s helping her step into her power. And now I see her coaching and helping other women and showing other women it’s possible that that lights me up.

[00:24:08.290] – Samantha Ruberto

That’s pretty fun to look at. To think that just because we work together, she’s literally walking the path of her higher power. I think it’s pretty cool.

[00:24:16.090] – Brett Dupree

That is pretty cool. We are coming to the end of our time together. And one thing I’d like to ask my guest is to do a one minute the motivation. You can imagine this as if you have a time machine and you’re going back to your eight-year-old self and you want to convey everything you need to live a happy, joy-filled life. But unfortunately, you’ll have a minute until your pop back into the future. Or you can think of it as taking your entire lives, message, and purpose and condensing it down to a minute. So you’re ready?

[00:24:39.940] – Samantha Ruberto

I am ready. Let’s go. You are meant for such amazing things in this lifetime. Listen to your heart tune and give yourself space to be able to play and tap into what your heart desires. Your heart will always guide you in the right direction. You just need to listen to it and have faith. Take the leap. Go after the things you want. There is a higher plan for you. There is a path that you will be walking that’s going to light the way for other people to do it.

[00:25:07.450] – Samantha Ruberto

This is not about just you. It is about walking that path and showing others that it’s possible. So shine bright. Turn up your light and put a smile on your face and go because the world is waiting for you to shine. Has it been a minute now?

[00:25:25.020] – Brett Dupree

however long it was, it was very beautiful.

[00:25:27.380] – Samantha Ruberto

Thank you.

[00:25:28.630] – Brett Dupree

Thank you, Samantha, for being on my podcast. I really enjoyed listening to your journey of somebody who seemed to have it all and fit perfectly in that societal box. But you allowed Spirit’s source or whatever you want to call it to talk to you and you listen to it and spent time and figured out what you needed to truly shine in this world. Then there’s a lot of people out there to believe that there’s more to life than what they’re living now. So to listen to someone’s story, who went through similar things, and we’re able to step out and go travel and enjoy life and then to come back and help other people do the same as even more special. So thank you so much for everything you do. And thank you so much for being on my podcast.

[00:26:08.160] – Samantha Ruberto

Thank you. Such a pleasure. Thank you for everything you’re doing. I just have to acknowledge you in the light that you are.

[00:26:14.660] – Brett Dupree

May your day be special.

[00:26:15.750] – Samantha Ruberto

You too.

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