Jun 18

Bring joy in your personal development

One of the main faults of adults is that they take life so seriously. There are many things in life to take seriously, like doing a good job at work and providing for their family. There are many more things not to take seriously. One thing humans enjoy doing is looking for reasons to feel bad, even in personal development. Personal development is one area where you should take yourself less seriously. When you take yourself too seriously you have a greater chance of creating more reasons to feel bad. I have heard the saying, “Life is not a game.” I say, “Why not? Games are fun.”

Listenin

Cover of "The Power of Positive Thinking&...

Cover of The Power of Positive Thinking

g to Abraham has taught me two important lessons in life. 1) Life is meant to be enjoyed and 2) do not create new reasons to feel bad.

Self help is an area where people love finding new reasons to feel bad. An example of this is positive thinking. A vast majority of self help books include the power of positive thinking. In fact there is a book called The Power of Positive Thinking
One of the dangers of just positive thinking is that there is a chance of using positive thinking as a reason to feel bad. An example of this could be practicing positive thinking for a few weeks and not noticing any changes. If immediate results aren’t seen then having the thought that positive thinking is horse pucky or cannot help. People can also get upset with themselves every time they have a negative thought. This totally negates the whole point of positive thinking. If you think of a positive thought as matter and negative thoughts as anti-matter then positive thinking works by the person having the negative thought and then they use the positive thought to cause a matter anti-matter explosion. This sends the positive energy throughout the body and totally destroys the negative thought. What people do instead is think the negative thought, then think negatively about the negative thought and then think the positive thought. Some of the negativity still remains and they wonder why it isn’t working for them. They also like thinking more negative thoughts about that as well.

Another way people in self help LOVE to make them feel bad is with the ego. Look out for the Joyous Expansions take on the ego here soon.

When you are tense you create a wall that does not let in goodness. It is like you are the starship Saddy and your forward shields are deflecting the smile rays being shot by the Happylons. Yes I realize that was super corny. Seeing the humor in what you are doing is a great way to create space to let in the goodness of life. Either see the joy of what you are doing or the results you are going to accomplish. You can also fake it a little. Smiling has a lot of positive effects. Laughing is also a great way to help with your personal development.

Looking at yourself and thinking about why you are on this journey is extremely important. Are you on this planet to enjoy yourself, live the best life you can, and be excellent example ? Or are you going to be someone who uses personal development as a reason to feel bad, look for new reasons to feel bad?

Here are some tips to help bring joy in your personal development:

1.Laugh and smile about it. The more you laugh the more you will learn to love yourself.
2.Relax. Taking deep belly breaths are good ways to relax when things feel like they are just not working out for you.
3.Look at where you are going. Looking at the end point is a good way of keeping you on track. Especially if you are not where you want to be at a given point.
4.Let it go. There might be days when you do not feel as good as you would like or that a problem that you thought you were over pops back up. If you are on a journey of self-development then you have picked up some tools to help you on days like this.. Being upset about a bad day would just exacerbate the problem.
5.Remember why you are doing it. Never forget the values and the reasons why. Joy is a fun way to live. Being happy feels so good. It will make the quality of your life better.

Want to kick your personal development up a notch? Want to make sure you stay on track and keep working on living full of joy?

Contact me at brettdupree@joyousexpansion.com to set up your free 30 minute “Joy Development” one-on-one coaching session. Together we will:

Clarify your vision for your personal development
Identify key strategic milestones
Uncover hidden challenges that are sabotaging your personal development
Leave the session renewed, re-energized and inspired to living a life full of joy!

Act today to live the life you want to live!

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Jun 11

Worry is for suckas

During my development, the first thing I did was greatly reduce the amount of worry that I do in my life. There is no reason to do the activity of worry.

Image representing Google as depicted in Crunc...

Image via CrunchBase

The brain’s job is to think thoughts. There are many thoughts in the brain. According to Google Answers the brain thinks about 12,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day. Worrying is taking one thought that causes pain or stress and thinking it over and over again.

When a person thinks a thought that they do not like over and over again it is like loading the Song of Worry on their mp3 player and putting it on repeat. The brain starts the emotions and releases the chemicals that are inspired by the Song of Worry. For example, if someone loads the song, “My Child Is Smoking” into their mp3 player and plays it once, the song is not a negative. The thought can lead to some positive actions, such as the parent deciding to set a good example and take care of their lungs themselves, having a talk with their child to see if they have good influences on this subject, or encouraging their child to make positive choices.. The parent could disregard this thought, use the law of attraction and visualize their child making excellent decisions and decide to wait until the child smokes to actually feel bad about it.

The unfortunate person will decide to worry by clicking the repeat button on their mp3 player for the song “My Child Is Smoking.” What this entails is first imagining their child in a situation where they are tempted to smoke. Chances are this picture in this parent’s head is probably dark and scary. People rarely use rainbows and Care Bears when they imagine their children making bad choices. This by itself will cause negative emotions. After that this loving parent will lovingly imagine their child making a poor decision and start smoking. Then, with all the love in their soul they will think of their child with lung cancer and other smoking related problems. o. This will cause this loving best intentioned parent to become angry and sad. As the parent listens to this thought over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, each time they will feel sad and angry at their child all while losing trust in their child. For all their hard worrying work, the parent will also be hurting their immune system , as worrying can cause headaches, stomach issues, high blood pressure, chest pains, fatigue, depression, diabetes, obesity, skin conditions, anxiety and sleep disorders.

Which parent do you feel will handle the situation better? The one that makes a plan if their child smokes and decides to deal with it when the time comes or the parent that worries about their child smoking all of the time. The obvious choice is the parent who has decided to deal with the situation when the time comes. That parent will make a better decision at the time they learn their child is smoking. They will have less chance of blowing up at their child.

What does worry get you? It gets you a bunch of health risks and lessons your ability to deal with serious situations.

How to change?

One of the first things I listened to was Dr. Paul’s mindOS on a DVD collection called Inner Game. He described worry as a form of suffering. This stuck with me for years and I still use it to this day. He said that suffering used more energy than dealing with the issue. Since I wanted to use my energy more efficiently, I decided that I no longer wanted to choose to suffer. To me, worrying is akin to water boarding myself. If I am going to suffer it is going to be because I don’t have control over the situation, such as a car wreck or actually being tortured. Why should I get up, go over to the sink, lean back and run water over my nose to simulate drowning? That is what you are doing every time you suffer.

How I got off the worry train:

Step 1: Realize that worry is a choice. Running the same thought over and over again in my head is a choice that I have. It is easy to realize this. Think about a frog jumping up and down. Now think of a cat playing with string. Were you able to stop thinking about the frog jumping up and down and start thinking about the cat playing with the string? Changing your thoughts is that simple.

Step 2: Having awareness. Awareness is an amazing tool for changing and self growth. It is almost always the first step to change. Becoming aware of each time, I chose to suffer was a good start. If I am feeling negative, I will ask myself, “Am I choosing to suffer?” Not only does that question bring awareness of my feelings, it reinforces the fact that worrying is a choice.

Step 3: Stopping. In elementary school, I went to an assembly where there was a man who talked about a person who was shopping. All of a sudden he heard the guy said, “Stop it.” The assembly giver asked the guy why he yelled that. The man replied to him that his brain was thinking negative thoughts and he wanted them to stop. I have learned that this actually works. Especially if I say it enough times in my head. It is also much more effective when I say it out loud. It might give some weird looks my way. The weird looks are much better than spinning the record of worry in my brain. NLP co-founder Richard Bandler suggests using the mantra, “Shut the **** up!” That can work as well.

Portrait of Byron Katie

Image via Wikipedia

With those three easy steps you will be able to break the habit of worrying. It is how I did it. There are many more ways to give up worrying. Another way is to keep a little book with you. When you have a troubling thought write it down. If the thought is something that is worth following up then file it away to be dealt with at a good time. Thoughts worth following up on include the child smoking example. If the thought is not something that you can control (drunk driver hitting your child), very very silly (meteorite coming down to earth and hitting your child), or a thought you already decided how to deal with, tear up the paper or, better yet, burn it.

If you are interested in learning more about ending the cycle of worry, there are many other methods including the Sedona Method, therapy, the Work by Byron Katie, EFT, and NLP.

There is a quote that I just cannot find who said it on the Internet or remember where I heard it from that I believe states it perfectly:

There are things in life you can handle. If you can handle them, why worry about them? There are things in life that you cannot handle. If you cannot handle them, why worry about them? Why worry?
-anonymous (If you know please leave a comment.)

There is a quote that made me laugh while I was looking for who said the quote above.

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost

Isn’t that the truth Robert Frost?

Homework of the Week:

Think of something that you worry about. STOP IT!

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May 29

Learning is good for your brain

Deutsch: Phrenologie

Deutsch: Phrenologie (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the era that we live in today expanding the mind has never been more important. The amount of information available is amazing and increases everyday. The nice part about our era is that information readily available. With the availability of more books and the wonderful Internet even the common man can get an education that 200 years ago would only be available for the wealthy elite.

With more and more information available, it is more important and easier than ever to expand our minds and constantly learn new things. Not learning something new causes our brains to stagnate. A stagnated brain will lead to a stagnated life. According to Magnificent Mind at Any Age by Dr. Amen, humans are able to learn well into our 70s, so there is no excuse not to go out and learn something new.

When you are constantly learning, you will be constantly growing your mind. Growing your mind will allow you to grow your life. There is a wonderful world out there. Also learning about yourself and how to motivate yourself is key to having a life of great expansion. The more you know about yourself, the more you can work with you to accomplish all of the goals you want to accomplish.

Another aspect of expanding the mind is training the mind for success and happiness. Expanding my mind with learning and training have been essential for me to love my life. For years, I trained my mind to see what is wrong with my life. Paying attention to the people, places and things that I do not want in my life caused me to bring in more things I do not want into my life. Training the unconscious mind to pay attention to the joy in my life has worked wonders in my daily joy. I am also able to see opportunities for improvements instead of just seeing what is wrong. An example of the phenomenon is the new car effect. When you buy a new car, all of a sudden it seems like the new car you just bought is everywhere. That is because there is a part of your mind that works as a filter. There are over 2 million units of sensory information at any given moment. Having to pay attention to all 2 million or so would drive you mad and would be impossible to function day to day. Your mind filters out the important inputs and shows them to the conscious mind. Now that your new car is part of your mind filters as something to pay attention to, your mind now shows that car to your conscious mind. For years I trained my mind to show me how lonely I was, or how broke I am. Now I train my mind for appreciation, joy, friendships, success, and all of the other wonderful things that I want in my life. This is something you can do as well. Your life will be amazing if you adopt this policy.

Adding a touch of joy to learning expansion is finding the sense of purpose in your life. Having a feeling that you were put on this earth for something greater than yourself makes learning that thing a wondrous joy. It brings training the mind into an amazing focus. Instead of just training the mind to be happy, you are training your mind so you can serve humanity with your gift. Living in more joy will be for the benefit of all as you are giving your gift while living your divine purpose.

Contact me today, so we can work together to find your purpose and create a plan to both train your mind for success and to live your purpose with joy and vigor.

Homework of the week:

1. Make it a goal to learn something new in a field that is very important to you. Notice how much fun it is to learn about something that matters to you.
2. A way to train the brain is through affirmations. Create an affirmation for joy such as, “I am magnet for joy.” Repeat this affirmation 10 times in the morning when you wake up. Notice how more joyful events are being noticed by you and how much better you feel.

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