Last year, I chose the 2009 Placebo of the Year award. Congratulations to the winner Invite Change. I thought it would be fun to start 2010 with a look back at the top 15 placebos of the 2000s. Wow, it is funny to write that. I remember when I was going to party like it was 1999. That song did not get old at all in 1999.
Placebos in this sense are personal development work, events, books or audio-books that have changed my life for the better. The 15 that I mention here are the top 15 in the last 10 years that have greatly shaped who I am today.
Here are numbers 5 through 1.
Number 5: David Deida and his book Way of the Superior Man. The book Way of the Superior Man is about being a more superior man than the man you are now. It is about living your purpose fully and with complete abandonment of things that do not serve your purpose. It says that living your purpose as a way to serve everyone.
One of the main gifts I gained from reading Way of the Superior Man is his ideas on relationships. I learned about the three stages of relationships and noticed that I was in the second stage, because I didn’t want to be in the first stage. The first stage is a dominant macho jerk and submissive housewife. The second stage is a partnership between the new age wimp and the powerful woman. He talks about ways of being a powerful man without being a macho jerk. In terms of math, I think the first stage is 1+1=0, where both people are dependent of each other; however, they mostly cancel each other out. The second stage is 1+1=2, where both people are 50/50 partners. This is nice, however it doesn’t provide spark in the bedroom and the woman doesn’t get to explore her radiance because she has to pick up the slack from her man. Also, the man does not get to explore his direction and purpose as he has to be the man in the relationship and his woman’s best girlfriend. The third stage is 1+1=infinite, where they are both whole, healthy human beings and together they are so much more. In this scenario the man is living in service of his woman so she can get to the depth of her radiance and the woman is in service of her man so he can get to the depth of his purpose.
He also mentions that one of the mistakes men make is to treat women like they are men, and vice versa. The way he explained how women are spoke to me and from there I let go of a lot of anger I had towards women. Before reading this book, I had anger towards women for not liking me. It was their fault that I was alone. They just couldn’t see what a catch I was. Also I thought of them as crazy. After reading this book, I became inspired to be a man who can attract an amazing woman and love her for who she is. I do not want to marry a dude, why would I want my woman to be like one.
Number 4: Invite Change. The Invite Change coaching model has five classes. I have been through four of them so far. The first one is Living Your Vision. In this class we work as a group to create vision and purpose statements that we are to use for our lives. It is an empowering exercise to develop a statement that when spoken feels like it talks about the essence of who I am. My purpose statement started off as long, however now it is “to be joy and love deeply.” Saying it feels so great. This was a very special class that I recommend all people take, as you do not have to be in the coaching school to take this class.
The second class is Essentials. In this class students get the essentials of coaching. This class is a great starting point for learning how to coach and what coaching is. This is mostly a learning class with some good exercises.
The third class is Power. Power is an amazing class that I cannot really explain. I went into the class feeling pretty good about coaching and I left the class feeling amazing about coaching. I felt completely sure that I am a great coach and I can help people reach their goals faster and with more joy.
The fourth class is Dynamics. They say that what Living Your Vision is to your life Dynamics is to your coaching business. It felt very true. I just took this class two weeks ago so much of what I learned is sinking in. I am very excited to see where my business goes from here. The vision and my mission statement fills me with pride. I look forward to working with people and facilitating a change in them that will spread out into their communities. I will be a positive force for change in this world and a huge part of that is because of Dynamics.
The fifth class is called Mastery, which I will take in July.
Number 3: Intentions. Learning about intentions and writing them down has been an amazing way to grow. I first learned about intentions from Wayne Dyer. I started writing them in a meet-up group called an intention circle. I highly recommend checking out an intention circle in your area. Getting together to make intentions for how you want to direct your life is very powerful. I have also enjoyed the work of Lynn McTaggart and went to one of her seminars this year. There is a lot of power in the written and spoken word. Using them to our advantage will help us get to where we want to go.
I am so inspired by my work with intentions that my first book will be about writing joyful intentions to awaken your true potential. Intentions are how I bring everything together. I learn from something and then I write down an intention to live and embody the way that I want to live. The intention process has changed my life for good and I am looking forward to sharing that with you in my new book.
Number 2: Kingpin. If this is the first blog you have read of mine, then this is probably a big surprise. However if you read the blog “The Greatest Day of My Life” then you understand why this movie is in the second spot in my top 15 countdown. The satori that I experienced from watching this movie has changed my life in so many ways. I know I wouldn’t be the man I am today and all of the other placebos that I have above would not have registered the way that they have. Taking complete responsibility for my life has been so freeing. It is amazing how amazing it is. It also shows me that the greatest wins can come from the least likely sources. Being open to anything allows me to get an amazing realization from a comedy about a bowler with one hand and a slutty woman taking an Amish guy to a bowling tournament in Vegas.
Number 1: Warrior Sage. Warrior Sage is number one on my list because I have received more from this group than any other in the last 10 years. I have completed four workshops with them including the Illumination Intensive (twice), Sex Passion and Enlightenment and Living Ecstasy.
The Illumination Intensive is one of my favorite things I have ever done for myself. I learned that the main person I learn from is me. The amount I have learned about me from these intensives is staggering. One of the most important is best described as “I am me.” I feel that everything I have learned afterward has been more authentic. I believe that I am a much more authentic and present person because of the Illumination Intensive. If you have a chance for an Enlightenment Intensive I highly recommend it. The Illumination Intensive is enough to put Warrior Sage at the top of my list.
Sex, Passion and Enlightenment was interesting to me. I do not know how much I got out of it. I did get my boundaries pushed a lot. I am very grateful for that. I do feel like I am a better man for going through with it. I just cannot pinpoint what exactly I got out of it or why it is a good seminar. I would recommend it to people who are in relationships or want a relationship.
Living Ecstasy was an amazing experience. Trusting my intuition is the reason I signed up for this seminar. During the first night of Sex, Passion and Enlightenment, I had the same dream three times. The dream was me at the end of Sex, Passion and Enlightenment with the feeling that I do not know what I got out of it and then me signing up for Living Ecstasy. So when it was the end of Sex, Passion and Enlightenment and I noticed I had that same exact feeling, I thought it was a good idea to follow the dream and sign up. Living Ecstasy set the stage for an amazing 2009 and was the end of my three seminars in four months. I went to Living Your Vision in October 2008, Inner Boundaries in November and Living Ecstasy in December. It was an amazing experience for me. During Living Ecstasy, I again pushed my boundaries and became more comfortable with myself. I was in a situation where I was able to get more in touch with my heart. In fact it was right after Living Ecstasy where I simplified my purpose statement from five sentences to just one short statement, “to be joy and love deeply.”
I also joined a men’s group from through Warrior Sage and with their help I was able to be challenged to push many of my boundaries. I also bought the book, Living Ecstasy by Satyen Raja, the man who founded Warrior Sage. It is a group I highly recommend joining. They are a huge reason I found the key to release myself from my prison of fear.
Congratulations to Warrior Sage for winning Placebo of the Decade from Joyous Expansion. I am very thankful to all the other placebos and the many that didn’t make the list. I am blessed to live at a time when there are so many special teachers available to me. Plus, I am in a situation where I am able to explore them rather than just worrying about what my next meal is. I appreciate the wonderful times we live in and I am looking forward to more placebos and being your placebo.
Look out for my book in 2010!!!!