Top 5 Placebos of the decade

This is a face shot of David Deida
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Last year, I chose the 2009 Placebo of the Year award. Congratulations to the winner Invite Change. I thought it would be fun to start 2010 with a look back at the top 15 placebos of the 2000s. Wow, it is funny to write that. I remember when I was going to party like it was 1999. That song did not get old at all in 1999.

Placebos in this sense are personal development work, events, books or audio-books that have changed my life for the better. The 15 that I mention here are the top 15 in the last 10 years that have greatly shaped who I am today.

Here are numbers 5 through 1.

Number 5: David Deida and his book Way of the Superior Man. The book Way of the Superior Man is about being a more superior man than the man you are now. It is about living your purpose fully and with complete abandonment of things that do not serve your purpose. It says that living your purpose as a way to serve everyone.

One of the main gifts I gained from reading Way of the Superior Man is his ideas on relationships. I learned about the three stages of relationships and noticed that I was in the second stage, because I didn’t want to be in the first stage. The first stage is a dominant macho jerk and submissive housewife. The second stage is a partnership between the new age wimp and the powerful woman. He talks about ways of being a powerful man without being a macho jerk. In terms of math, I think the first stage is 1+1=0, where both people are dependent of each other; however, they mostly cancel each other out. The second stage is 1+1=2, where both people are 50/50 partners. This is nice, however it doesn’t provide spark in the bedroom and the woman doesn’t get to explore her radiance because she has to pick up the slack from her man. Also, the man does not get to explore his direction and purpose as he has to be the man in the relationship and his woman’s best girlfriend. The third stage is 1+1=infinite, where they are both whole, healthy human beings and together they are so much more. In this scenario the man is living in service of his woman so she can get to the depth of her radiance and the woman is in service of her man so he can get to the depth of his purpose.

He also mentions that one of the mistakes men make is to treat women like they are men, and vice versa. The way he explained how women are spoke to me and from there I let go of a lot of anger I had towards women. Before reading this book, I had anger towards women for not liking me. It was their fault that I was alone. They just couldn’t see what a catch I was. Also I thought of them as crazy. After reading this book, I became inspired to be a man who can attract an amazing woman and love her for who she is. I do not want to marry a dude, why would I want my woman to be like one.

Number 4: Invite Change. The Invite Change coaching model has five classes. I have been through four of them so far. The first one is Living Your Vision. In this class we work as a group to create vision and purpose statements that we are to use for our lives. It is an empowering exercise to develop a statement that when spoken feels like it talks about the essence of who I am. My purpose statement started off as long, however now it is “to be joy and love deeply.” Saying it feels so great. This was a very special class that I recommend all people take, as you do not have to be in the coaching school to take this class.

The second class is Essentials. In this class students get the essentials of coaching. This class is a great starting point for learning how to coach and what coaching is. This is mostly a learning class with some good exercises.

The third class is Power. Power is an amazing class that I cannot really explain. I went into the class feeling pretty good about coaching and I left the class feeling amazing about coaching. I felt completely sure that I am a great coach and I can help people reach their goals faster and with more joy.

The fourth class is Dynamics. They say that what Living Your Vision is to your life Dynamics is to your coaching business. It felt very true. I just took this class two weeks ago so much of what I learned is sinking in. I am very excited to see where my business goes from here. The vision and my mission statement fills me with pride. I look forward to working with people and facilitating a change in them that will spread out into their communities. I will be a positive force for change in this world and a huge part of that is because of Dynamics.

The fifth class is called Mastery, which I will take in July.

This is a photograph I personally took when Wa...
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Number 3: Intentions. Learning about intentions and writing them down has been an amazing way to grow. I first learned about intentions from Wayne Dyer. I started writing them in a meet-up group called an intention circle. I highly recommend checking out an intention circle in your area. Getting together to make intentions for how you want to direct your life is very powerful. I have also enjoyed the work of Lynn McTaggart and went to one of her seminars this year. There is a lot of power in the written and spoken word. Using them to our advantage will help us get to where we want to go.

I am so inspired by my work with intentions that my first book will be about writing joyful intentions to awaken your true potential. Intentions are how I bring everything together. I learn from something and then I write down an intention to live and embody the way that I want to live. The intention process has changed my life for good and I am looking forward to sharing that with you in my new book.

Number 2: Kingpin. If this is the first blog you have read of mine, then this is probably a big surprise. However if you read the blog “The Greatest Day of My Life” then you understand why this movie is in the second spot in my top 15 countdown. The satori that I experienced from watching this movie has changed my life in so many ways. I know I wouldn’t be the man I am today and all of the other placebos that I have above would not have registered the way that they have. Taking complete responsibility for my life has been so freeing. It is amazing how amazing it is. It also shows me that the greatest wins can come from the least likely sources. Being open to anything allows me to get an amazing realization from a comedy about a bowler with one hand and a slutty woman taking an Amish guy to a bowling tournament in Vegas.

Number 1: Warrior Sage. Warrior Sage is number one on my list because I have received more from this group than any other in the last 10 years. I have completed four workshops with them including the Illumination Intensive (twice), Sex Passion and Enlightenment and Living Ecstasy.

The Illumination Intensive is one of my favorite things I have ever done for myself. I learned that the main person I learn from is me. The amount I have learned about me from these intensives is staggering. One of the most important is best described as “I am me.” I feel that everything I have learned afterward has been more authentic. I believe that I am a much more authentic and present person because of the Illumination Intensive. If you have a chance for an Enlightenment Intensive I highly recommend it. The Illumination Intensive is enough to put Warrior Sage at the top of my list.

Sex, Passion and Enlightenment was interesting to me. I do not know how much I got out of it. I did get my boundaries pushed a lot. I am very grateful for that. I do feel like I am a better man for going through with it. I just cannot pinpoint what exactly I got out of it or why it is a good seminar. I would recommend it to people who are in relationships or want a relationship.

Living Ecstasy was an amazing experience. Trusting my intuition is the reason I signed up for this seminar. During the first night of Sex, Passion and Enlightenment, I had the same dream three times. The dream was me at the end of Sex, Passion and Enlightenment with the feeling that I do not know what I got out of it and then me signing up for Living Ecstasy. So when it was the end of Sex, Passion and Enlightenment and I noticed I had that same exact feeling, I thought it was a good idea to follow the dream and sign up. Living Ecstasy set the stage for an amazing 2009 and was the end of my three seminars in four months. I went to Living Your Vision in October 2008, Inner Boundaries in November and Living Ecstasy in December. It was an amazing experience for me. During Living Ecstasy, I again pushed my boundaries and became more comfortable with myself. I was in a situation where I was able to get more in touch with my heart. In fact it was right after Living Ecstasy where I simplified my purpose statement from five sentences to just one short statement, “to be joy and love deeply.”

I also joined a men’s group from through Warrior Sage and with their help I was able to be challenged to push many of my boundaries. I also bought the book, Living Ecstasy by Satyen Raja, the man who founded Warrior Sage. It is a group I highly recommend joining. They are a huge reason I found the key to release myself from my prison of fear.

Congratulations to Warrior Sage for winning Placebo of the Decade from Joyous Expansion. I am very thankful to all the other placebos and the many that didn’t make the list. I am blessed to live at a time when there are so many special teachers available to me. Plus, I am in a situation where I am able to explore them rather than just worrying about what my next meal is. I appreciate the wonderful times we live in and I am looking forward to more placebos and being your placebo.

Look out for my book in 2010!!!!

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Top 15 Placebos of the Decade cont…

Last year, I chose the 2009 Placebo of the Year award. Congratulations to the winner Invite Change. I thought it would be fun to start 2010 with a look back at the top 15 placebos of the 2000s. Wow, it is funny to write that. I remember when I was going to party like it was 1999. That song did not get old at all in 1999.

Placebos in this sense are personal development work, events, books or audio-books that have changed my life for the better. The 15 that I mention here are the top 15 in the last 10 years that have greatly shaped who I am today.

Here are numbers 10 through 6.

Number 10: David DeAngelo. One of my di

rty little secrets is that I started my self-improvement kick to get me some women. I was stuck in what I called

“my prison of fear,” and the aspect of my life that brought me the most frustration was talking to women. I got my hands on everything I could when it came to the art of pick up. Honestly, I am no better a

t picking up women than I was before I started to listen to David DeAngelo’s material. The part of pick up where I would act like someone I am not to pick up women didn’t really interest me. However the part about “Inner Game” fascinated the hell out of me. Being a man who could just attract women with my confidence e

xcited me

. I would not be where I am today if I didn’t read David DeAngelo’s material. He mentioned Tony Robbins, who mentioned Wayne Dyer and the rest is history.

One main nugget I learned from David DeAngelo was the idea of reflection. The aspects of other people who bothered me was actually aspects of myself that I did not like reflected back to me. This freeing concept has allowed me to no longer be mad at other people and to look at the aspects of myself that I want to change. This also allows people who annoy me to become my teacher.

Number 9: Byron Katie. Listening to One Thousand Names for Joy made me strive for a way to let go and be fine with anything. The realization

of not believing my th

oughts and that all suffering is when I am arguing with reality is very powerful. The work is also very simple and easy to do. They even have a free hot line for people having trouble with the work. When people are stuck on a thought it is like their brain is playing the same song from a record over and over again. The work allows other tracks to be played. There is something freeing about seeing the opposite of what you think is true as just as true. For example going from, my mom shouldn’t have abandoned me to I have abandoned my mom, and my mom should have abandoned me and my mom didn’t abandon me, has allowed me to let go of a lot of past pain. All o

f these thoughts are just as true as the others. The suffering comes when I believe the thought that is different than what has happened.

The main nugget that I want to share from Katie is that all thoughts are judgments. In personal development a lot of books talk about not being judgmental. What that means to most people is thinking positive thoughts about people. Actually it means to not be attached to your judgments because no matter what you think, each thought is a judgment on something. Judgment is the language of the

mind. It only knows how to think in judgments that are relational to something. Again, this is a very freeing belief.

Number 8: Adyashanti. I learned of Adyashanti when I was surfing the Internet to see if Jed McKenna was a real person. Some people have suggested that Jed McKenna is really Adyashanti.

So I bought his book, Emptiness Dancing and enjoyed his teachings. I highly recommend it to everyone. The other talks that I have listened to have been just as good. His teaching on enlightenment works well with me. He sees the ego as something to let go. It is like a jacket. Listening to him it is not something to discard It is

something to put on like a coat. Going outside to talk to people, remember to take your ego so you can speak words and relate to the illusionary world where we live. What I understand from him is that enlightenment is letting go of my Ego and wisdom is

training the ego to live in this dualistic reality.

One nugget to share from him is that enlightenment is not about learning more

of who you are; it is about unlearning who you are.

Number 7: Abraham. Abraham is a collection of spirits that are channeled through Esther Hicks. From their perspective, there is nothing more important than finding a thought that feels better than previous thoughts

Esther Hicks
Image via Wikipedia

. They have an emotional scale that they teach people to reach. Instead of going from sadness to joy, they suggest going from sadness to anger. This is because at that moment anger feels better than sadness. They are also teachers of the Law of Attraction. They ha

ve quotes such as, “The better it gets, the better it gets”

and “There is nothing more important than to feel good.” Listening to them speak is a great pick-me-up and following their practices will help you to feel good. They have some videos on Youtube and I highly suggest checking them out to see if they click with you.

Number 6: Meetup.com. Meetup.com is a website where you can create a group about anything your heart desires and if people are interested they can join. Then you can host meetings. I found meetup.com on craigslist when I was looking at the events and noticed an EFT on building wealth. I joined and went and I was hooked. I noticed how much my personal development grew when I was around people who also had the same goal of improving their lives. There is something about being around people who share a similar goal and a similar mindset that helps. I have been to channeling events, intention circles, drumming circles, learning how to date, law of attraction, board games, Byron Katie, and group discussions on subjects that interest me. There was a time when I would go to one meet-up a week.

Surrounding yourself with positive people is a way to skyrocket your development.

Come Back Next week for 5 through 1!

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Placebos of the Decade 15-11

Top 15 Placebos of the Decade

Last year, I chose the 2009 Placebo of the Year award. Congratulations to the winner Invite Change. I thought it would be fun to start 2010 with a look back at the top 15 placebos of the 2000s. Wow, it is funny to write that. I remember when I was going to party like it was 1999. That song did not get old at all in 1999.

Placebos in this sense are personal development work, events, books or audio-books that have changed my life for the better. The 15 that I mention here are the top 15 in the last 10 years that have greatly shaped who I am today. A few may surprise you, one definitely will if you haven’t read a previous blog of mine.

Number 15: A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. This book gave me a wonderful look at life and the way things are and some methods to help me remain in the present. There are times when I am driving when I will just take some breaths and drive to practice being in the now.

Number 14: Deepak Chopra/Wayne Dyer. These two people are synony

Deepak Chopra in November 2006, speaking at Yahoo.
Image via Wikipedia

mous for me. They are similar in their teachings and are best friends. They are two of the first self-help people I listened to and they have many good ideas. Using Chopra’s process of being conscious of doing something unconscious, I stopped biting my fingernails. He said not to judge an action as right or wrong, instead notice myself doing the action. I started doing that with fingernail biting and then one day I noticed I had to cut my nails for the first time in over 20 years. That showed me actual proof that I was learning from self improvement. I enjoy both men’s senses of humor and have learned a lot from both of them over the years.

From Dyer’s teaching, I learned that living from spirit, is living from inspiration.

Number 13: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steve Covey. This is on the list for two reasons. One is the habit of which is my favorite, “Seek first to understand then be understood.” This is a wonderful way to live. Listening to people is a lost art in our culture. Often people tend to wait for their turn to talk. They do not actually listen to the person who is talking. There have been many times when I have listened to conversations and it is like two people are having completely different conversations.

The second reason is from reading this book I finally understand unconditional love. Before this book, I thought it made sense, however, after this book it just clicked. When Covey had a conversation with a client about how the love in the client’s relationship was gone, Covey kept telling him, “Well just love her.” This made the click for me.. Love isn’t something I have, it is something I do. You do not have love for someone, you love them. From this book I have been able to deepen my capacity to love and working to have love as just a state of being rather than something that I do.

Number 12: Boundary Solution. “Boundaries” is a seminar series given by Joan Casey. I was lucky to meet her at a Warrior Sage event. I was surprised to learn that she also leads seminars and was smart enough to take two of them. Using many techniques, I was given a view on my boundaries and push them. There was a time when nothing was more important than pushing my boundaries. The Boundary Solution seminars gave me a safe place to push and grow my boundaries. I took two seminars. One focused on boundaries with other people and the second was about boundaries within myself.

The main idea I took away from these seminars was an exercise where I felt a feeling with passion. I chose a feeling, fear, and then worked with it for 21 days to break my addiction to the chemical of the feeling. This excercise has allowed me to avoid creating situations that fulfill my need for fear. This has been very freeing.

Number 11: News for the Soul. www.newsforthesoul.com was a website that I would go to at least once a week. There I would listen to the people they showcase like Satyan Raja, Don Ickle, Greg Braden, Brad Yates, Amethyst Wyldfyre, James Arthur Ray, John Assaraf, and many more. News for the Soul also introduced me to a wonderful free and easy technique called Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT. Brad Yates is the person who is known as the EFT wizard. I highly recommend looking him up on Youtube and giving it a try. It might look a little funny, however it is quick, easy and free and may help you.

It is hard to pick one nugget I learned from News for the Soul. There was at least a two-year period that I listened to it constantly while working and I used a lot of great ideas from it and learned from many different perspectives. If I had to point to one thing it would be discovering EFT.

Come back next week for 10-6!

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