2009 Placebo of the Year Award

Welcome to the first annual Placebo of the Year award. Placebo of the Year goes to the event, book, class, or workshop that has brought me some lasting happiness or skills that have helped me with my life. To be eligible for Placebo of the Year the event or book has to be something that I did, read, or learned something from during the past year.. For example, even though I discovered Richard Bandler in 2008, he is eligible in 2009, because I read two of his books this year.

Read my blog Find Your Placebo to get a better explanation of what I mean by placebo.

The candidates for the 2009 Placebo of the Year award are:

Adyashanti: I discovered him early in the year and he has been a great teacher in my life so far. This year I purchased his book Emptiness Dancing which gave a wonderful take on enlightenment. This book illustrated the idea that the Ego is something I let go rather than fight against. If you have read Eckhart Tolle’s work and

you are looking for more on enlightenment, I highly suggest this book. It has a way that isn’t softer, it just won’t make letting go of the Ego such a battle.

In addition, I checked out Spontaneous Awakening and End of Your World from the library and downloaded many of his free satsangs and purchased Accessing the Ground of Being from the Portland satsang, I also purchased his CD set Dawn of Awakening and went to one of his satsangs.

Adyashanti is an amazing teacher if you are interested in enlightenment. He is very good at explaining something that is unexplainable. He also seems very genuine.

Main Learning: In the Dawn of Awakening, a member of the crowd asked something along the line of, “When does the resistance end?” Adyashanti gave a perfect answer, “It never ends.”

From his simple answer, I went into my life and looked at where I was waiting for resistance to end. How was I waiting for resistance to end instead of doing or feeling what I wanted to feel? For example, I was waiting to be in the flow for a fun spiritual life that was easy instead of just being in the flow. If I am waiting to be in the flow, I would be always waiting rather than beingin the flow.

Now I am practicing his main teaching, “Stop” from the live satsang that I attended.

Sedona Method: The Sedona Method is a simple technique where one feels something and then lets it go. It is as simple as it sounds. They go into much more detail in their CD series. This method has been around since the 70s.

Main Learning: The holistic approach in the Sedona Method is allowing myself to feel something as much as I can and then allowing myself to feel better at it or the opposite of that as much as I can. For example, if I was jealous because my wife cheated on me, I would allow myself to feel as mad as I can at my wife and then let it go. Then I would allow myself to be as fine with my wife cheating on me as I can and then let it go.

This is one of the first steps I do when I start to feel an emotion that feels bad. I allow the feeling and let it go, and then I allow the opposite and let it go. This allows me to feel what I feel and honor my feelings, while allowing me to let it go and think about how things are going to be OK. Plus it allows me to work and learn from the feelings that are not known to be positive such as jealousy and disappointment. I am able to feel it and learn from it instead of throwing a pity party.

Invite Change: Invite Change is the coaching school that I attend. This year I have taken three classes through them, Essentials, where I learned the basic of being a coach, Power, where I learned that I am a very good coach, and Dynamics, where I learned that I am a Awakener. I am very excited about my future as coach.

Image of Janet Harvey from Facebook
Image of Janet Harvey

They are very supportive and amazing people. I am honored attend this school. A special thanks to my teachers, Susan McKay, Amaorah Ross, Jan Berg, Janet Harvey, BJ Levy, and Beverly Marsh.

Main Learning: The main thing I can take away from Invite Change is both an excitement and a huge desire to coach. I do not believe I would be where I am with my personal beliefs without going to Invite Change. The growth I have gone through due to this school has also been amazing. I look forward to building my business in 2010, mostly due to the work I have done in Invite Change.

Byron Katie The Work Live: I learned of Byron Katie in 2008 when I listened to the audio book A Thousand Names for Joy That was the first time I listened to someone and I thought to myself, “Yea, that is where I want to end up when I am done with this journey.”

Portrait of Byron Katie
Image via Wikipedia

In early 2009, I was able to go to her six-hour workshop at the Center for Spiritual Living in Seattle. Seeing her do the work live was absolutely amazing. The greatest part about it was witnessing the strength of those who did the work and what they were able to go through. Seeing the love that she showed each person she talked to was

amazing. It was a magical experience for me.

Main Learning: I can get through anything. I have a tool

called the work that is able to accept anything in my life and work from there. Having it reinforced that it is my thoughts that cause suffering and not the events. It is my relationship with them that causes me pain. I can change my relationship. Hearing the story of someone who went through a what most people would call a horrible ideal and how the work helped them not be defined by it and trapped in the past was amazing. It was like seeing a real life Victor Frankl in the audience.

Terry & Richard Bandler
Image by briannuman via Flickr

Richard Bandler: Richard Bandler is one of the creators of NLP or Neuro Linquistic Programming. This year I listened to an audio recording of his, Your Own Personal Genius. I also bought two of his books, Conversations with Richard Bandler and Richard Bandler’s Guide to Trance-formation. His take on personal empowerment is very similar to Katie’s however it is more grounded in the mind. His is more on the line of, “None of your thoughts are true, so you might as well believe the good ones.” He believes that absolute power is being able to listen to something and not allow it to affect you. Allowing anything anyone says to hurt you is you giving your power to them. During a demonstration NLP workshop to feminists during the middle of the Equal Rights Movement Bandler calls them sweetheart, doll and all sort of words that would rile them up. He illustrates that creating a situation where these words cause you to lose your power is not very empowering. Empowerment is being able to listen to anything without giving your power away.

Main Learning: The biggest thing I learned from Bandler is “spinning my feelings.” In his book he shows an exercise where I look in my body where a feeling has started. I start with a negative feeling and find where it starts and how it spins in my body. From there, I take the feeling out, flip it upside down and spin it backwards and put it back in the body. What I noticed is that the feeling feels so much better in that situation. Then I repeat what I’ve just done to anchor the feeling into one super glorious mega feeling. This for me is thumping my chest twice and pumping once in the air while singing We Will Rock You by Queen. This is something I do before I coach to get me into the right mindset and feeling.

I also use the Sedona Method holistic in this approach. This helped me a lot with the feeling of disappointment. I was able to take the feeling of disappointment, spin it opposite direction and then use the Sedona Method of allowing me to spin the feeling of disappointment as much as I can and then spin the opposite direction as much as I can. For me this gives me choice when the disappointment trigger arises. Then I make the intention to feel the new feeling when the trigger arises for the rest of my life.

Jed McKenna: Jed McKenna wrote a series of books about enlightenment Spirituality it is the Darnedest Thing, Spiritual Warfare and Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment. His books are defiantly not for everyone. If you read the books with an open mind you will get something out of them. This is especially true if you enjoy enlightenment, spiritually and self development.

It is nice to read someone who has a completely different take on everything than what I learned. Instead of spirituality and enlightenment being about rainbows and sunshine, he thinks that spirituality is the opposite of enlightenment and enlightenment is a drag out war to the literal death of the ego. He also has many nuggets that are interesting and will help people stay on track and look at what they are doing. If you want to take responsibility for your own development it is nice to read someone who is very, very different. That is someone who isn’t a blinded by spiritually or just a skeptic. I definitely plan on re-reading the trilogy in the future.

Main Learning: Two points stick out in my mind. From the first book I think of the quote, “If you are not amazed by how naive you were yesterday, you are standing still.” This has me always striving to move forward in my development.

The other is from his second book when he writes about a group of people trying to figure out the Bhagavad Gita. He mentions to them that, “It’s not about the people IN the story, it’s about the person READING the story.” This is beautiful. I have had many discussions with people about a book and people struggle with them because they are trying to figure out exactly what the author is talking about. The truth of the matter is the fact that it is not only nearly impossible to know exactly what the author meant, it is not nearly as valuable as what he said means to you. This has changed the way I read books as now I am looking for inspirations that help deepen my development and take me further than trying to figure out what the author meant. Plus it also opens up my own intelligence and gives me 100% responsibility for what I get out of it.

The winner of the 2009 Placebo of the year award goes to:

Invite Change

It is almost not fair to the other participants because I have been to three of their classes this year and they have been very supportive of my growth as a coach. I have received so much out of working with them that they have been worth every dollar that I have spent with them. They are a group of amazing women and the classmates I have met have been outstanding. The entire experience I have had with them has been completely special. Congratulations to the 2009 Placebo of the Year award winner.

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Key #8 of a Joyful Life: Celebrate!!!

Since eight is my favorite number in the world, the eighth key is my favorite key. It allows all of the other keys to be even more joyful and happy. It is something that is so easy, yet something that a lot of people just do not do enough.

The 8th key to living a joy filled life of wonderful amazingness is celebration.

Celebrate!

Celebrate your life. Not only is it amazing that you are here on this earth, it is amazing that you are able to do the amount of amazing actions in your life. There are many victories in our lives. It is easy to see why we do not spend time celebrating our lives. Since we started living with people on this planet, they have spent their time showing us what we are doing wrong. They tell us all of the fun things we are not able to put in our mouths, the cars that can hit us, the strangers that can steal us, the answers we got wrong, the foods that we should not eat, the toys that we forgot to clean, the spots we missed, the bad words that we say and even what clothes we shouldn’t wear.

The people in your life were doing the best they could to help you succeed. Now that you are ready to be a deliberate creator in your life you can train yourself to see the victories in your life and the actions and accomplishments that bring you joy. Even with all of the negatives that were pointed out to us, we still have to learn how to celebrate the big things such as getting Christmas presents, graduation or getting an A on a test. It is time for you to celebrate anything that brings you joy. Do not just discount it as something that happens. Celebrate when you make it to work on time, get your work project done, clean your house, finish a quarter mile of your 3 mile walk/jog, eat only half of piece of cake, meditate for 10 minutes, or that your car started even if it is a new car.

“When you celebrate the little things in life, you make life one big celebration.”
-Brett Dupree

The beauty is the more you celebrate the more you will have to celebrate. You will be training yourself to look at what you want in your life. As you focus on what you want in your life you will be drawn to more of what you want in your life. You will notice more things to celebrate and you will create more causes for celebration. This will create a huge snow ball effect of celebration. You will notice that there is more blank numbers in your life than there is numbers that are crossed out with a big red X, like when you got your school work back.

My Services

Hiring a coach has helped me celebrate my life more. In fact, some of my calls have been an hour celebration of what I am doing. Our calls are time each month dedicated to getting you where you want to go and celebrating of your life. Celebrate your life with me.

www.joyousexpansion.com

Homework of the Week

Celebrate at least one thing that you love in your life or awesome occurrence that happened at least four times every day this week. It can be at a set time or when you wake up, get to work, get home from work and then go to bed.

  • Five Keys to a Living a Rich Life (socyberty.com)
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Key #7 of a Joyful Life: Love Unconditionally

The seventh key to living a joyful life creates an amazing context for the other keys. The seventh key makes finding your placebo a pleasant experience. It keeps being positively selfish and receiving abundance from being negatively self centered. The seventh key creates a space where it is possible to clarify, live your purpose and move from joy to joy. Finally, the seventh key makes giving up the illusion of being done a joyful experience rather than an unsatisfying one..

7th Key to living a joyful life is love unconditionally.

One of my joys is listening to audio books in my car. I laughingly call it “attending automobile university.” This is a term I heard from an audio book by motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. One day, I was listening to Steve Covey’s7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” In one chapter he was talking to a friend whose marriage was on the rocks. The guy was giving him a lot of excuses as to why he does not have love for his wife anymore. Steve Covey kept on replying to him, “then love her.” After listening to this part of the book it clicked in my brain. Love is an action, it is not something to be had or held.

With further learning about love, I have discovered that love is something that is beyond an action. It is a way of being. Living your life with unconditional love is the most freeing way of being. Unconditional love means just that. Loving without any conditions even when people are being so darn unlovable.

Unconditional love does not mean you have to allow this person into your life. In fact when you set your boundaries and live from the truth that is yours, then you are showing more love and compassion to that person than if you allowed them to walk all over you. It is not loving to do an action and then resent them. It is not loving to allow someone to do something to you that is harmful. It is perfectly loving to tell someone that you do not wish them to be in your life as long as they are acting in such a way.

Loving Yourself

How many times have you told yourself how much you love yourself? What have you done today to show you that you love you? You are the one person you have to spend the rest of your life with. No matter what happens to anyone in your life, it is you who is always going to be around. If you do not love yourself, you are spending a long freaking time with someone you do not love.

If you do not unconditionally love yourself right now, then practice loving yourself more each day. This includes loving the parts of yourself that you want to change. Every action and decision we make are for positive intents. We are only working with the skills and tools that are available to us. Many of the negative actions we do, we do because we are protecting ourselves from something. To the man who cheats on his girlfriend so he can experience freedom, to the woman who eats to fill the hole in her heart from a cheating boyfriend, there is almost always a positive reason for the things that we do. The key is to find the positive aspect of the action and finding the love for yourself in it.

Furthermore, loving yourself is changing the negative action and decision into something more positive. Since we are always being and always becoming, we can change the actions we do or the beliefs we have while loving those aspects of ourselves as well.
Loving Others

This is exactly the same with other people too. Everyone who is not you and is not psychotic are doing their actions with a positive intent. Even the most hurtful actions they take have a positive intent about them. They are just working with the tools that they have. When someone does something hurtful to you, it is the time to have compassion. No one who is happy and full of life would do anything to purposely harm another, especially in a cruel way.

Loving others unconditionally changes the way you deal with them in other ways. For instance, you will love them without expecting anything in return. Imagine the freedom you would feel if you just love people for who they are and did not expect them to love you in return. The amazing paradox is the more you love someone without wanting them to love you back, the more potential there is for them to love you. Also loving unconditionally increases your capacity to love and attracts more people into your life. Before I started practicing this principle I had only a few people I would hang around with. Now as I practice more and more unconditional loving, I have so many amazing people in my life. I know for a fact that increasing my capacity to unconditionally love is the catalyst for sparking more friendships and fun times.

It is a Practice

Mother Teresa 1985 cropped
Image via Wikipedia

If you are part of the majority, then unconditionally loving is a practice. This kind of discussion is often laughed at in western society. In America, we are taught that there should be conditions to love and that it is not good to be vulnerable. Mother Teresa said it best, “The greatest paradox is that when I love until it hurts, there is no hurt.”

Homework of the Week

Look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” Do this everyday until it feels good.

Record ten people who are in your life. For each person listed write at least five things that you love about them..

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