Rampage of Appreciation – People in my life

This blog is a rampage of appreciation about the wonderful people in my life. The way to read this blog is to think of your own life and how you appreciate how these people show up in your life. Enjoy.

The 7th key to a joyful life will be available next week.

Rampage of Appreciation of the People in My Life.

I appreciate the many wonderful people I have met through out my life. I love the people who have taken their time in their day to spend time with me. I enjoy the fact that I know so many fun people. I am thankful to all of the amazing people who have taught me so many things. From the people who I know in everyday life who teach me how to live by their actions and how I do not want to show up by their actions as well. I appreciate when I look at another human being and notice an amazing quality they have that I want in my life. Also when they show me a reflection of aspects of myself that I am not comfortable with. Showing a light on a part of myself that I was covering up so I can work on this piece of my life. Without people like this in my life I would never grow and expand into the person I am today. These people in showing what I want and what I do not want help bring in my reality the growth that I am feeling even at this moment.

I appreciate all of the people who have shown courage in their lives. Showing me what is possible and how strong the human spirit truly is. I am so thankful to all of the wonderful people I have attended seminars with. Their excitement they generate is very contagious. I appreciate all of the amazing people who I go to www.meetup.com groups with. Going to these meetups has been a very positive force in my life. Surrounding myself with positive deliberate creators just feels so good and raises my joy vibration.

I am sending love to all my teachers, from the ones that are in a book, to the ones who taught me in real life. To the ones in book, I appreciate the fact you take time out of your day to not only learn how to live a joyful life and other knowledge that has been helpful, you also write them down on paper for everyone else to share. I am thankful for all of the teachers I have met in person. Showing me your capacity to love through your art has shown me that I can increase my capacity to love. I would not be where I am right now if not for your loving guidance. I am thankful that I have attracted you all into my life.

I appreciate my loving friends and family. I love seeing you as you truly are even if you do not notice how wonderful you all are. You are all wonderful, beautiful, capable, powerful beings. I am so happy that I am able to share this wonderful gift of life with every one of you. I just have to hold back how much I want to say I love you when we are around. You have each enriched my life in your own way. It has been so much fun to know all of you. I am looking forward to many amazingly fun adventures together.

I am so thankful for you to read this blog. Taking time out of your day to read my thoughts is one of the greatest gifts you can give me. I love you for who you are and you are wonderful and beautiful just the way you are.

Homework of the Week

Write your own rampage of appreciation for the people in your life. Write one thing you appreciate about someone in your life in the comments

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Key #6 of a Joyful Life: Give up the Illusion of Being Done (Part 2)

Last week I wrote part one of the illusion of being done based off of the quote, “Always Being and Always Becoming.”

The second quote is one of my favorite quotes of all time. I am constantly using at this point when I talk to myself.

It is not that you must be free from fear. The moment you try to free yourself from fear, you create a resistance against fear. Resistance in any form doesn’t end fear. What is needed rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance is understanding fear; that means watch it; learn about it; come directly into contact with it.”

-J. Krishnamurti

Every time I think about areas where I am afraid I think the first line of that quote, “It is not that I must be free from fear.” Soon after, I look at what I can learn from this situation and what I can do right at that moment to feel the fear and do it anyway.

When listening to the enlightened teacher Adyashati‘s CDLife without Center,” I was able to expand on this idea. One of the audience members on “Life without Center” asked Adya the question, “When will the resistance end?” The answer Adyashanti gave the man expanded my thoughts on the idea of the quote. He said, “Never.”

By allowing this thought in, I realized I was waiting for resistance to be done in my life, before I choose positive actions. I was waiting until I was enlightened, had a certain skill, was a certain way, had the correct thinking or the right level of joy, lived in the perfect situation before I would feel, do, or have, something. An example of what I was waiting for was for things in my life to be easy. I have read so many books about how when I am in the flow then life is just simple and things just click. From this one passage I realized that I was waiting for the resistance of surrendering to who I really am and giving my gifts full out. Waiting for something to happen before I was living the way I wanted to live will just create a situation where I am waiting for something instead of living.. It is not that I must be free from fear, resistance, pain, sadness, resentment, anger, revenge, worry, or any other negative emotion. When I try to free myself, I create a resistance. When I created resistance, I moved my focus to the negative feeling that I resisted. When I focus on this negative feeling, I notice more areas of my life where the negative feeling exists. As I notice more areas of my life where these negative feelings exist, I gravitate towards them because they are my focuses. When I gravitating towards my focus , I am then experiencing more and more situations where I want to free myself from this fear. Thus, I am creating an endless cycle of noticing fears, trying to free myself from them, and then creating them for the rest of my life. All I did was waiting. I was living in the illusion that there will be a finish to the negative feelings in my life.

Actress demonstrating initial reactions of fea...

Image via Wikipedia

In many conversations I have had about negative emotions those I am talking with have a desire to be free from them. They never want to feel fear again. This is very popular in the spiritual and motivational circles that I attend. When people live to remove the negative emotions from their lives, they set themselves up for disappointment and create a fake Pollyanna attitude of positivity.

When a person has the illusion that they are done with their negative feelings, they have an excuse to punish themselves when those feelings return, . They can now think the thought, “I thought I was over this, what is wrong with me?” They do this as they have a fake smile on their face telling the world that nothing is wrong. The truth is there is nothing wrong with them. Thoughts are kept in the brain and emotions are remembered. Triggers will happen in the future. Not being free from the triggers in the brain is not important, it is having the tools and the knowledge of what to do when these life occurrences happen that will lead to a wonderful life. What is important is having the ability to notice them, learn about them, come into direct contact with them and then turn them into art. In his book, Living Ecstasy, Satyan Raja writes about the negative happenings in your life and calls them your kinks. When you have these kinks, using them is your biggest gift. Take what you desire or feel is missing from your life from these kinks and give them away to other people.

For example, due to choices of people and myself in my life, one of my kinks is a fear of abandonment. I have spent many years trying to eliminate my fear and escape from its prison . Knowing that I’ll never be done doing this is a sense of relief because now I don’t have to beat myself up over it. . I would think, “I should be done with this fear.”, “When will I be done with this fear?”, or “how much work do I have to do to finally be done with this fear?”

Giving up the illusion of being done with my fear of abandonment allows me to learn from it. I take the desires from that fear and give the desires that are created out of those fears to others, making it my art. The desire I have that no one feel that they need something outside of themselves to be happy and learning more ways to deepen the love I feel are ways that I have taken this fear and turned it into my art. This blog you are reading and my entire coaching practice is an example of me taking my fear of abandonment and turning them into something wonderful that helps many people.

Giving up the illusion of being done also means it is time to stop waiting. Stop waiting for something to happen to give your gift to the world. Stop waiting for something to happen for you to be happy. Stop waiting for something to happen for you to live your dream. It is time to stop. The resistance will not be over, the fear will not go away, other people will not change, the government won’t change, and the economy will never be good enough for you to do what you want to do. There is always a good excuse for mediocrity.

Stop waiting and do what you want to do right now. For the sake of the people around you and for the sake of the world, stop.

My services

Now is the time to stop waiting. Working together, we will find the areas in your life where you are waiting for something and get you to stop. You will reach your goals faster and live a much better life. We will also find the gifts that you have hiding from your kinks and find new ways to look at this wonderful world where we live.

Homework of the Week.

1. Find something in your life where you are waiting for something to happen before you begin. Find what you can do this week to begin and do it.
2. Think of something that happened in your life that you believe still bothers you and keeps you from where you want to go. Notice what you need to happen for you to be over this or what feeling you need to be over it. Think of someone who needs the same and give it to them.

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Key #6 of a Joyful Life: Give up the Illusion of Being Done (Part 1)

The sixth key to living a joyful life is based on the previous keys. Moving from joy to joy, living your purpose and receiving abundance all leads to this key.

The sixth key to living a joyful life is giving up the illusion of being done.

Giving up the illusion of being done can be split up into two general ideas. Since both of ideas are a basis for the seventh key, I decided to break this blog into two parts. Each one idea can be summed up in a quote:

“Always being, always becoming.”

“Always being, always becoming,” is a zen saying I first heard when I went to a satsang given by Adyashanti. It is the Buddhist way of being. We are beings who are always living our lives the way we are now. We are beings who are also always becoming something different.

Giving up the illusion of being done is giving up the idea that you need reach your goal to feel finished or happy. This process brings us the joy in our lives. While you are moving from joy to joy, you realize that when you reach one of your goals, it is time to move to the next goal. There is always a new adventure to live. Abraham has an analogy about taking a vacation. Look at your itinerary for your vacation and notice that at the end of the vacation you will be at home, do you then think, “Well I am home now, so why go on vacation?”

The process is where the fun is to be had. Instead of thinking of your life as a collection of goals to accomplish, think of life as a practice. This way you will deal with every occurrence as an event that will allow you to grow as a person. Living life as a practice will not allow you to stagnate in any area, because you will always have a way to go deeper into practice with all parts of your life.

Real life examples of giving up the illusion of being done.

Relationships are areas in people’s lives where they hang onto the illusion of being done. Many sitcoms have jokes about people in relationships not having to tray. Common examples are when a woman finds a man they do not have to work out or when a man puts a ring on a woman’s finger they no longer have to court her. In both of these situations the person “has” the other person.

Kirnu, a steel roller coaster in Linnanmäki.

Image via Wikipedia

In real life, both the man and the woman who chose to live like this example will not be happy. Instead, if they realize that the courtship is never done, the woman still takes pride in looking good for her man and the man doesn’t stop courting his lovely lady. He takes pride in knowing he is still showing her she is appreciated and loved. Not only would these lovebirds continue their courtship, they would find new and deepening ways to expand their love for each other. The relationship they build will be a roller-coaster full of thrilling passion, instead of a carousel of comfort and ease.

Keeping the illusion of being done in your job will most likely get you fired. As technology and knowledge keeps on growing and changing, so must you evolve. If you do not keep learning, someone new who has will take over.

In goal setting having the illusion of being done can also be a huge trap. For example, I set a goal of being out of debt. Once I was out debt I was left with a feeling of, “Now what?” I didn’t have a plan of building savings after paying off my debt. Soon I built a new debt, so I started the goal again with a new more complete plan.

Losing weight is another good example where a person has an idea that there is a “done.” The average American loses weight and then tends to put it back on. They go on a diet plan and reach their goal weight. . When they believe they are done with the diet, they then go back to their old ways. Soon they find themselves noticing that not only did they gain their weight back; they also added some extra pounds. Having the illusion of being done while goal setting sets us up to regress once the goal is accomplished. There needs to be more in your goals, because there is always more in life.

Our health, relationships, financial situations, and vocations are all always being and always becoming.

My Services

Working with me you will not only set up goals, you will help create a mindset where you will always be working to grow. Together we will find the traps that you are setting for yourself and find ways to remove them from your life. You will have both goals and a big picture at the same time.

Homework of the week

Look at your life and notice an area where you think “when this happens I will be finally done with it.” Notice if you have a plan set up after this goal. Be open to creating a plan and become excited for what comes into your life next.

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