Key #1 of a Joyful Life: Find Your Placebo

The first key to a living a life of joy is a general key. The first key can be dangerous if you do not take responsibility for your life. You must believe that you are your own guru. Please read the four previous blogs if you have not read them.

The first Joyous Expansion key to living a joyful life is: Find Your Placebo.

Prescription placebos used in research and pra...

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The placebo effect is used in the medical field. It has been shown that some people are able to cure themselves with the power of their beliefs. Some people are so trusting that a doctor can give them a pill and tell them it will cure their headache, they are able to cure their headache even if the pill is a sugar pill Researchers testing new drugs have to test whether or not their drug works better than people deciding to feel better by eating sugar pills. Unlike medicines, the only long term side effect to finding your placebo is a better quality of sex, a more joyous life and more love in your relationships.

When it comes to happiness, what if everything is a placebo? In my studies I haven’t found anything that has worked with all people. The trick is finding the right placebo that works for you.

We live in an age where there is more to read about living a happy life than ever. There are hundreds if not thousands of books on meditations, techniques, and inspirational stories. Everyone has access to therapists, life coaches, acupuncturists, massage therapists, and spa treatments..

Click on the website Enter in your age and see how old you are in days. That is how many months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds on this earth that you haven’t been living up to your potential. This is the time you have lived without finding the placebos in your life that bring you to a happier state of being.

Ten years from now you will live 127 months, 521 weeks, 3,652 days, 87,628 hours, and 6,257,699 minutes. If you plan on living for ten more years do you want to live them with more joy and happiness or how you are at this moment?

How much time in your day do you dedicate to finding new actions, ideas, activities, books, movies and seminars that will allow you to live the life that you want to live?

In my time I have found many placebos that have increased the joy in my life. I have taken a few seminars from a group called Warrior Sage. I have read many books that have inspired new thoughts and have brought me new techniques to live a more inspired and joyful life. In fact, August 28 is my five year anniversary finally deciding to make finding my placebos a priority.

An important aspect of finding your placebo is discovering something that works for you. If something does not work for you, drop it and find something else. In my search, I have found techniques and books that did not sit well with me. Just because something works for someone else does not mean it will work for you. The opposite is true as well. Something that works for many people is reiki. Reiki is a spiritual practice where one receives healing from another person by having them lay their hands on them. The idea is that they are the conduit for healing energy that is coming from a loving source. The idea of healing from a loving source interested me. I went to a few classes and even some reiki circles. After trying this, I decided that it is just not for me. Reiki is a placebo for many people and I honor them for finding it. I am sure some of the placebos that I have found do not sit well with all others.

Emotional Freedom Technique

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Something that has worked for me is the Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is a therapy where you tap on certain points of your body. One of the great things about EFT is that it works for some people and is easy and free to learn. Joining a group and participating in a technique called borrowing benefits has worked wonders in my life. People who have met me in the last two years would be surprised to learn that I once disliked hugging. There was something about the closeness and the touching that bothered me. I have many therapeutic theories as to why that was the case, however knowing those theories did not help me in my desire for closeness and hugging. By tapping on my hugging with a group, I now love to hug. I believe that I am the best at giving hugs and that hugs can bring great healing in people’s lives.

Doesn’t happiness come from within?

The short answer to this question is yes. The long answer to this question is of course. Happiness is something that comes from within. One of the unfortunate parts of being human is most of us do not actually believe this. Believing that happiness comes from within is something that a lot of people understand. However, they have not put it into practice. If they did, they would be happy.

When you read something that inspires you, talk to someone who helps you or listen to an amazing audio book that changes your life, it isn’t coming from the outside. What is actually happening is for that brief moment in time you have let down the resistance to your own joy that has been inside of you all along. It is like you are in a room and the sun is shining outside. What the books did was open the drapes to let in the sunshine. The sun was shining the entire time. Believing that the book, seminar, guru, television personality, priest or therapist is the reason that you are happy is like believing that opening the drapes created the sunlight.

What if you are already happy?

Then you are in a perfect spot to keep up the momentum of happiness. Newton’s first law is the law of inertia. An object that is in motion will stay in motion. If you are already happy, why wait for something to go wrong to find a way to bring you back to happiness?

One day I got a psychic card reading for fun. One thing the psychic told me was there was a book that had a meditation for health that she found very helpful. She told me she tends to listen to it when she is sick and when she does she finds herself feeling better and more inspired to do things to change her predicament. The question that I wanted to ask her was, “Why do you wait until you are sick?” If she continued on this meditation when she was well, she will keep up the inertia and live more days of feeling well.

This is the same for you. When you are feeling happy, it is still time to find and keep on doing the actions that make you happy. Keep it up.

Only doing joyful actions when you are upset is like only servicing your car when something goes wrong. Changing the oil every three months helps prevent your car from breaking down. I would imagine that you are more important to you than your car.

My Services

Working together we will find your placebos and keep up the momentum. In fact working with me will be one of your placebos as you will feel more joyful after our session. Also I will provide homework assignments that are geared toward finding out if they are something that will bring more joy into your life. Being a person who brings joy more joy into your life is a passion of mine.

Homework of the week

Buy one book or read one article that inspires you.

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8 keys to living a life of Joyous Expansion

I am excited. The next 8 blogs that I am going to write are 8 blogs that I have been waiting to write for a while. The reason for my waiting is because I wanted to set up the context before I wrote the 8 Keys to Living a Life of Joyous Expansion. I wanted to write about what Joyous Expansion meant to me. I also had to write about the 3 pre-keys to the 8 keys.

The three pre-keys are important to the 8 keys because they apply to each one, while each of the 8 keys can stand on their own.

1.Take responsibility for your well being for each of the keys. It is important that you take full responsibility for how you apply them and what they mean to you. Without taking complete responsibility while incorporating the 8 keys into your life you run the risk of being manipulative and being manipulated.
2. It is about you the reader. Do not worry too much about what exactly is going through my mind at the time I am writing these. What matters is what jumps out to you and then how you can implement that in your life.
3. You are your own guru. It is important, especially with the first key, that you keep this in mind. Also important that when you read the 8 keys, put them in your life and notice how awesome it is, that you realize that it was you. My words are just words. It is you who make the magic. Even when you are my coaching client it is your power and mind that allowed you to reach your goals quicker and easier. It isn’t only because of me. It is because of what we both co-created together. Without you there is no growth. This is true with therapists, self help books, personal trainers, preachers, spiritual gurus, Dahlia Lamas and even the great and powerful Oprah.

Winfrey on the first national broadcast of The...

Winfrey on the first national broadcast of The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The story behind the 8 keys started when I decided to become a coach that placed an emphasis on living a joyful life. I believe that any coach worth his salt has a certain number of keys to living a life where you can accomplish their niche. Just kidding, the truth is I love lists. If I see an article on MSN that states, “Top ten reasons for”, “top 7 ways to”, “10 ways blank are different than blank”, “10 best”, “10 worst”, and etc… chances are I am going to read it. Just like all keys to happiness, there are nearly infinite amount of them. Writing an infinite list would take too much time. I did not choose the normal numbers of 7 or 10 because 8 is one of my favorite numbers due to the fact that my birth date has three 8s.

I am so excited for this list that I have spent the time to write three blogs to ready you for this list and this blog which just explains that a list exists. I truly believe that the 8 keys that are coming up can be a spark that can send your life into over drive. I am so joyful about it, I am going to do a rampage of appreciation about the 8 keys.

Rampage of Appreciation

I am very happy that I have the capacity to reach so many people with my blog. I appreciate that you take time out of your day to read my words. I love the fact that something that I wrote can be an inspiration to people. I love the fact that there are so many amazing teachers who I have access to in my life. I am so happy that I have some awesomely supportive people in my life. I thank you for being one of them. I love the fact that the 8 keys are something that I am living each day implementing in my life and increasing my capacity for joy. I am grateful for living in a time where something this amazing can be possible. I love the fact that I am able to write and reach people. I love the fact that I have someone help me with my grammar. I appreciate spell check. There are so many amazing things that happened in my life that has lead to this moment. I am thankful for the knowledge that I have accumulated and for all the seminars that I am have been apart of. I am so joyful for the amazing people who I went through these seminars with who I have learned so much from. I am thankful for where I can get together with people who are sharing a goal. With these people I was able to sky rocket my growth and focus my thoughts better. I love the fact that I have a solid group of men in my life who challenge me to bring the best out of me. I am so appreciative of the fact that all of my the events in my life lead me to this moment. Again, I am so thankful for sharing this with you. I am so thankful for you. Thank you for allowing me to live my dream. Without people like you, none of this is possible. With people like you there is no way I could feel the love I feel right now.

Homework of the Week

Write your own rampage of appreciation about any subject. Have fun with it and be truthful. If you do that, you will feel better and a miracle, no matter how small, will happen tomorrow.

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You are your own guru

This the third blog of a three part series that is a precursor to an upcoming eight part series This one being the most important one. It is the basis for all my writings and learnings.

You are your own guru.

Growth happens from within you. Your learnings, growth and realizations are not something given to you from any seminar, book, teacher, guided meditations or motivational movie.

There is a saying in zen, “Do not confuse the finger pointing to the moon with the moon.” The teachings from the gurus are the fingers pointing at the moon. What you learn from them is the actual moon. They are the ones who just pointed the way.. The only power anyone has over you is the power that you give them. If you believe that the happiness you get is from a something other than within then it can be taken away. The spirit of the teachings is also lost when teachers are put on pedestals. Every person who has taught me in my life is a human being with their own flaws. Putting them on a pedestal confuses the moon with the finger. If I look at the teachers as the moon and they turn out to be out of integrity, then the moon crumbles. I would lose everything that I have learned from them because I gave them the power to take it away. If I just look at them as the finger I am able to keep what I learned and move on. Even if the person turns out to be slim, the nuggets of wisdom that I have used to improve my life are still valid. It is just the finger that pointed to the moon was rotten.

Teachers are the catalyst that sparks the growth within you. It is not the guru’s wise words that shook you to your inner core; it is your understanding of what those words meant to you.

Thich Nhat Hanh

I am thankful for many teachers. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Adyashanti, Byron Katie, David Deida, Satyen Raja, Steve Covey, Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Esther Hicks, Michael Beckwith, Zig Ziglar, Marci Shimoff, Louise Hay, Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Guy Finley, Robert Glover, Thich Nhat Hanh, Susan Jeffers, Lynne McTaggart, James Arthur Ray, and Russell Simmons
are all people who I am very thankful for the thoughts and learnings that I have had while listening, reading and attending their seminars. They have pointed me to many learnings that I have integrated into my life and have shared thoughts I would not have thought on my own.

What these teachers say to me goes into my ears where it is interpreted with my brain. It is I who am the expert in my life and know how to work with their teachings. They have given me a great service and none of them can take it back. I do not look at these people and think they have saved my life or made me happy. I take responsibility for my happiness and it is me who decides whether I use what they have taught me to better my life. If I give them responsibility for my growth then they can take it back.

Never give your power away to anyone who believes they know more than you. Saying that the “gurus” changed your life is like saying Martha Stewart cooked your dinner. All they can give you is ingredients and the directions. It is still up to you to mix and cook a delicious cake.

Living with this belief gives you complete responsibility for your own growth and your well being. It will also make it so you do not throw out a good teaching when it is learned that the person who taught you the pearls of wisdom and protect you from people who wish to use their power as a teacher in nefarious ways.

Everyone that I have learned from has their faults. On Earth right now there are no perfect beings. There is no guru who will make you instantly enlightened and cure all your ills.

As I heard Abraham say in a seminar, “Always trust your inner wisdom above all others, even ours.”

Homework of the Week

Celebrate your brilliance.

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