The sixth key to living a joyful life is based on the previous keys. Moving from joy to joy, living your purpose and receiving abundance all leads to this key.
The sixth key to living a joyful life is giving up the illusion of being done.
Giving up the illusion of being done can be split up into two general ideas. Since both of ideas are a basis for the seventh key, I decided to break this blog into two parts. Each one idea can be summed up in a quote:
“Always being, always becoming.”
“Always being, always becoming,” is a zen saying I first heard when I went to a satsang given by Adyashanti. It is the Buddhist way of being. We are beings who are always living our lives the way we are now. We are beings who are also always becoming something different.
Giving up the illusion of being done is giving up the idea that you need reach your goal to feel finished or happy. This process brings us the joy in our lives. While you are moving from joy to joy, you realize that when you reach one of your goals, it is time to move to the next goal. There is always a new adventure to live. Abraham has an analogy about taking a vacation. Look at your itinerary for your vacation and notice that at the end of the vacation you will be at home, do you then think, “Well I am home now, so why go on vacation?”
The process is where the fun is to be had. Instead of thinking of your life as a collection of goals to accomplish, think of life as a practice. This way you will deal with every occurrence as an event that will allow you to grow as a person. Living life as a practice will not allow you to stagnate in any area, because you will always have a way to go deeper into practice with all parts of your life.
Real life examples of giving up the illusion of being done.
Relationships are areas in people’s lives where they hang onto the illusion of being done. Many sitcoms have jokes about people in relationships not having to tray. Common examples are when a woman finds a man they do not have to work out or when a man puts a ring on a woman’s finger they no longer have to court her. In both of these situations the person “has” the other person.
In real life, both the man and the woman who chose to live like this example will not be happy. Instead, if they realize that the courtship is never done, the woman still takes pride in looking good for her man and the man doesn’t stop courting his lovely lady. He takes pride in knowing he is still showing her she is appreciated and loved. Not only would these lovebirds continue their courtship, they would find new and deepening ways to expand their love for each other. The relationship they build will be a roller-coaster full of thrilling passion, instead of a carousel of comfort and ease.
Keeping the illusion of being done in your job will most likely get you fired. As technology and knowledge keeps on growing and changing, so must you evolve. If you do not keep learning, someone new who has will take over.
In goal setting having the illusion of being done can also be a huge trap. For example, I set a goal of being out of debt. Once I was out debt I was left with a feeling of, “Now what?” I didn’t have a plan of building savings after paying off my debt. Soon I built a new debt, so I started the goal again with a new more complete plan.
Losing weight is another good example where a person has an idea that there is a “done.” The average American loses weight and then tends to put it back on. They go on a diet plan and reach their goal weight. . When they believe they are done with the diet, they then go back to their old ways. Soon they find themselves noticing that not only did they gain their weight back; they also added some extra pounds. Having the illusion of being done while goal setting sets us up to regress once the goal is accomplished. There needs to be more in your goals, because there is always more in life.
Our health, relationships, financial situations, and vocations are all always being and always becoming.
Working with me you will not only set up goals, you will help create a mindset where you will always be working to grow. Together we will find the traps that you are setting for yourself and find ways to remove them from your life. You will have both goals and a big picture at the same time.
Homework of the week
Look at your life and notice an area where you think “when this happens I will be finally done with it.” Notice if you have a plan set up after this goal. Be open to creating a plan and become excited for what comes into your life next.
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